You would think an academic specialized in human sexuality would have a little bit more compassion for mental health, but alas, we cannot assume anything about anybody.
Dr. Melissa Fabello is getting roasted for a clinical reply she offered to a friend in crisis when her friend texted her the following:
I want to chat briefly about this text that I received from a friend last week: https://t.co/cfwYx3tJQB— Melissa A. Fabello, PhD (@Melissa A. Fabello, PhD) 1574115031.0
She then outlined the baselines for communication back with the friend.
She acknowledged the good things:
The person who sent the text is a very good friend of mine. We have the kind of relationship wherein YES OF COURSE… https://t.co/jZAcW0bIpm— Melissa A. Fabello, PhD (@Melissa A. Fabello, PhD) 1574115119.0
But here's why that text was really, really important: (1) It acknowledges that I have limited time & emotional av… https://t.co/0yeECkiXHm— Melissa A. Fabello, PhD (@Melissa A. Fabello, PhD) 1574115340.0
(4) It gives me a clear sense of the expectations for the conversation. (5) It gives me an opportunity to say yes,… https://t.co/Cq6QcClNsE— Melissa A. Fabello, PhD (@Melissa A. Fabello, PhD) 1574115384.0
But then outlined a template for a dismissal text:
PS: Someone reached out and asked for an example of how you can respond to someone if you don’t have the space to s… https://t.co/MlEZX1vb06— Melissa A. Fabello, PhD (@Melissa A. Fabello, PhD) 1574122187.0
And people immediately began roasting her.
On a few things.
One of which being the phrase "emotional labor."
@fyeahmfabello @sabina_writes Only one culture would coin the term “emotional labor.” A culture in which everything… https://t.co/ndZCkdu3eU— Felicia (@Felicia) 1574153111.0
@fyeahmfabello If one of my friends felt the need to ask me this prior to talking I'd automatically think I was the… https://t.co/UYNxVZsYWo— Jess Flores (@Jess Flores) 1574190640.0
@fyeahmfabello I’m sure someone who reached out to you in crisis really appreciates your public twitter thread abou… https://t.co/ugBtdTwd31— 🍂🦃 Goth Ms. Thankful 🦃🍂 (@🍂🦃 Goth Ms. Thankful 🦃🍂) 1574190436.0
@fyeahmfabello thank u for the 18 tweet thread about how you’re too busy to spend a few minutes being there for a friend in need— Sa Da Tay (@Sa Da Tay) 1574191273.0
@fyeahmfabello I’m of two minds on this. It’s definitely important to be respectful of people’s time, space, and em… https://t.co/ilfvWkF0BQ— Lindsay Graves (@Lindsay Graves) 1574116366.0
Also, it turned into a copypasta rather quickly.
Copypasta: a block of text copied and pasted across the internet by individuals through online forums and social networking websites.
Hey! I’m so glad you reached out. I’m actually at capacity because I’m crying over Baby Yoda right now, and I don’t… https://t.co/zf9Kbo8YpL— patrick (@patrick) 1574195475.0
https://t.co/RHyGMU6UtB— Shadowban Over Innsmouth (@Shadowban Over Innsmouth) 1574200059.0
if she’s your girl then why did she text me “Hey! I’m so glad you reached out. I’m actually at capacity / helping s… https://t.co/vPThUA8oeI— lIllIe (@lIllIe) 1574282249.0
BOSS: I know it's your day off but I need you to cover a shift ME: Hey! I'm so glad you reached out! I'm actually… https://t.co/LbBoT5c7GQ— Roxi Horror 💀🌸 (@Roxi Horror 💀🌸) 1574280949.0
hey I'm so glad you reached out... https://t.co/9ynHrRWkLo— mick (@mick) 1574262536.0
The internet certainly has an affinity for taking something ridiculous and memeing it at the speed of light.
guy on grindr i only hit up last night bc i was mega h0rny at 8 AM the next day: hey baby me: Hey! I’m so glad you… https://t.co/pOiofAPFPK— gabriel (@gabriel) 1574229831.0
Hey! I'm so glad you reached out. I know you're bleeding out in a ditch outside my house, but I'm actually at capac… https://t.co/lJFubATT4r— ☆ﾐ hannah (@☆ﾐ hannah) 1574215996.0
Friend is like “hey let’s go see PARASITE” I’m like “Hey! I’m so glad you reached out. I’m actually at capacity (I… https://t.co/yBfkHkwBQI— C. Spencer Yeh (@C. Spencer Yeh) 1574201838.0
me: no need to write this down i'll remember it my brain: Hey! I'm so glad you reached out! I'm actually at capaci… https://t.co/mqkrctQ05s— rob, from online. 💻 (@rob, from online. 💻) 1574285475.0
In a culture where emotions have become synonymous with work and capital, have we gone too far?
Was the doctor right to ask for space and time, but maybe a bit too cold in the response?
"Emily Nagoski [and] her twin sister, Amelia, teamed up to write about how to combat stress, and they have a gift for making the self-help genre not make you want to poke your eyes out." ~ Cup of Jo