While it's meant to be fun, with the goal of a fulfilling relationship at the final finish line, the dating scene can be really hard to navigate.
Especially now with increased social media and dating app presence, it's become harder than ever to deem who a person really is, and more importantly, how they're feeling about you. With that has come the infamous act of ghosting.
While we all cringe at the idea of being ghosted, we are ultimately one of two kinds of people when this happens to us: we either take it as a sign that it wasn't meant to be, grumble a bit, and let it go... or we seek out the person who ghosted us and demand an explanation.
And dating coach João, or @name.is.joao on TikTok, had something to say for those who take the second approach.
In the short, punchy video, João opened with advice the second group of people might find validating.
"If he's ignoring you, send him a huge text, letting him know what he missed out on and how he's never going to find a woman quite like you."
With a chuckle, he challenged that we deserve better than to be ghosted.
"I'm kidding, don't do that."
"No, if he's ignoring you, here's what you do: You quietly move on."
"Because you don't deserve to have to fight for somebody's attention or somebody's effort."
"As a dating coach, I can assure you one thing: The right person won't have a doubt about you from day one."
You can watch the video here:
Some immediately agreed with João's advice.
@name.is.joao/TikTok
@name.is.joao/TikTok
@name.is.joao/TikTok
@name.is.joao/TikTok
@name.is.joao/TikTok
@name.is.joao/TikTok
Others admitted to learning something from the video.
@name.is.joao/TikTok
@name.is.joao/TikTok
@name.is.joao/TikTok
@name.is.joao/TikTok
@name.is.joao/TikTok
@name.is.joao/TikTok
In a follow-up video spun from the same topic, João offered some motivation, starting with the caption:
"Quick tip: we’re ALL busy. And that’s Ok. However, everyone has 30 seconds in their day to send a message. Priorities."
In the video, he said:
"I don't know who needs to hear this, and I've said it already, and I will say it again."
"You probably already know this, but you're doing it anyway, so here I am to remind you."
"Stop putting effort and expectations into somebody who can go the entire day... without even talking to you."
You can watch that video here:
It can be hard to hear the truth that someone isn't that into us, but it's wildly validating to hear that we deserve better.
While that person may have not cared for us the way we hoped, we can take comfort in knowing that they simply weren't a match for us, and there's someone else out there who will treat us better.
Jane Rosenberg
Jane Rosenberg
@arianagrande/Instagram
@arianagrande/Instagram