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Dad Mortified After His 3-Year-Old Daughter Unexpectedly Tells State Employee That He 'Beats' Her And Her Mom

Mirjana Seba / EyeEm / Getty Images

Kids say the darnedest things, especially when they are young, which often results in hilarious memories.

But in some cases, what they say out of context could easily earn their parents some weird looks, or even get them into trouble if their child was heard by the wrong person.


In one dad's case, that particularly wrong person was a state employee, who very reasonably would have the power to break up a family.

While attending a state party, a father, his wife, and their daughter were chatting with one of the state employees, making pleasant conversation.

When their three-year-old daughter cracked an inappropriate-sounding joke, the parents were lucky enough to have known the employee for a while, so she was willing to ask their child some clarifying questions, instead of simply jumping to the worst possible conclusion.

While reflecting on the now-funny memory, the father, Reddit user "toforama," shared the story in the sub-Reddit, "Today, I F**ked Up."

You can read the father's story here:

His fellow Redditers had a seriously good laugh from reading his story and then proceeded to share some of the cringe-worthy stories from their own families, particularly embarrassing incidents with their children.

"One of my daughter's kindergarten journal prompts was write something special you do with one parent."
"She put: DOING LINES WITH DADDY!!!!!!!!"
"Drawing. She meant drawing. It's the emphasis that really made it." - burritosareforlovin
"Oh my - I just remembered I have another example of this! My friend was on the bus one day with her little boy (he was probably between 3 and 4 at this point) suddenly blurted out 'Mummy was in bed with a soldier last night and now she's got a sore bum'."
"Needless to say my friend was mortified and more than a little confused. Later she remembered that her son had left some of those small plastic army toys in her bed and she had slept on top of one the night before."
"Pretty sure I laughed about that for like six months." - alboot_UK
"My parents were beer drinkers while I was growing up. 4 year old me begged and begged to know what it tasted like until my mother finally relented and dipped her pinky finger in a bottle to allow me a taste off her finger."
"At my preschool graduation I announced to everyone, including teachers, parents, and students, that 'my parents let me drink beer.'"
"You want to talk about mortified? My parents died." - FormerlyLiarah
"In light of this TIFU: my oldest (7y) made 2 paper crafted hearts in school last week. One with an easy pattern and one with a more difficult version of the same."
"He came home very proud and wanted to give them to us, so he gave the easy one to my wife and then the more complex one to me, along with the statement 'I'll give the hardest one to dad, because he understands those things better'."
"Daddy was proud. Mommy was not amused." - Massis87

It just goes to show how important it is to share the right details when telling a story.

But when children have more important things to do than make sure a story is perfectly clear, it can lead to some hilarious blunders.

The book I Did My Homework in My Head: (And Other Wacky Things Kids Say) is available here.