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Dad Pisses Off His Wife After He Decides To Give His 6-Year-Old Son A Surprisingly Blunt Description Of Why Adults Drink Alcohol

Dennis Fischer Photography, via Getty Images

Inquisitive young kids are a joy.

They ask insightful questions about every topic they can think of and we get to watch them grow smarter with every answer we give.


But those questions turn into a chess game when they're about certain things that are difficult to explain without exposing the underbellies of adult society to an innocent child.

Alcohol, for example, requires some delicacy.

One Redditor lacks that delicacy. He's more of a straight shooter.

But on one occasion, direct transparency about beer-drinking landed him in the doghouse with his wife.

He begins with that subtle disclaimer that almost admits guilt completely before things even get moving.

"Okay bear with me."

This is not looking good.

He begins the story with his personal philosophy on how adults should speak to children.

"My wife and I have a 6 year old son, Alex. He's very smart and curious and I encourage that by not sugarcoating things. He asks questions, I give him answers. I can't stand when adults use baby talk or kid language."

When drinking alcohol and faced with a basic question, this man will be forced to apply that philosophy.

"Anyway, today I was watching TV and downing a few beers. My son asked me if he could try some. I said no. He asked why, and I said 'because beer is an adult drink.'"
"He asked why. Now my wife and her family normally say things like, 'That's Daddy's juice' or 'Mommy's juice' if it's wine. I think that's stupid."

This guy's response doesn't mention juice even once.

His explanation, for better or worse, is a bit more honest.

"So I said 'because beer makes you feel funny and then it makes you puke.' My son doesn't like throwing up so I figured this would turn him off."

Of course, that answer ignited a new question from his son, this one even more dicey.

"He asked why I drink beer if it makes you puke."
"I said well grownups drink beer because when you get older, life is really hard and sad. Beer makes you happy and makes you forget about your problems. Beer makes you stop thinking because you have so many bad thoughts."

From a pure strategy standpoint, the guy's approach worked. This would be the final question of the day.

But all that honesty was not admired by everyone in the house.

"My son just kind of said 'OK' and went away at that point."
"My wife overheard that last part and is PISSED, says it wasn't age appropriate. I think I told him the truth and I wasn't overly graphic."

The post, meant to elicit feedback from other Redditors, certainly served its purpose.

Reddit had PLENTY to say about his choice to describe the true motivations behind drinking alcohol.

Many people felt there were other, less destructive uses of alcohol he could have named.

"In case this reality has evaded you, not everyone is an alcoholic. Not everyone uses alcohol as a coping mechanism."
"People can drink responsibly, which means not drinking to forget and not drinking until they puke. And a lot of people, myself included, drink alcoholic beverages simply because they taste good." -- zugzwang_03
"You could seriously mess up his perception of beer in the future."
"Perhaps a simple "because my adult body can handle it" would be something else to say that is close to the truth but not encouraging a warped view of alcohol." -- jumping_meerkat
"The only reason this is 'true' is because many people have a drinking problem."
"Drinking in moderation for fun can easily be a good thing. Drinking in moderation for your reason is called coping. It's not healthy for you or your kids." -- pntlesdevilsadvocate
"What you old him was no less baby talk then 'daddy's juice.' Get some help for your attitude on this subject. Chances are you need it." -- YorkPepperMintPaddy

A good amount of responses raised serious concerns that the narrator's use of alcohol is unhealthy and problematic.

"It's kind of a warped view of the purpose and effects of alcohol."
"If you're drinking till you puke to temporarily forget your problems, you have a serious drinking problem." -- jeffsang
"What an absolutely insane explanation to tell a child. You might be an alcoholic." -- workthrowa
"Between this post and your other comments, you sound like a serious alcoholic, with a lot of depression thrown in. Get yourself some help." -- M0506

Others commented on how his response will create problems in the future when his son has the emotions that, according to him, mean it's time to drink alcohol.

"A 6 year old is going to hear, 'It makes you happy and forget about your problems' and not understand why that isn't a feasible option for him the next time HE gets upset." -- holdmysnaccs
"Way to go, champ. You just told your son that he has nothing but misery to look forward to." -- WaffleDynamics
"You really just f*cked up a great opportunity to teach your very young son about substance abuse and moderation." -- Skuke_Lywalker

It remains unclear if there was a follow-up conversation between the narrator and his son. That, if it did occur, was apparently not juicy enough to make its way to Reddit.

The book Make a Difference: Talk to Your Child About Alcohol is available here for people who want to try a different approach.