A woman named Ella was invited to her cousin Amy's colorful-themed wedding, but under one strict condition.
Ella was required to hide her ginger hair by dying it or wigging it.
While the maid of honor and bridesmaid were expected to attend adhering to the blue, green and purple dress attire, Ella had no idea her hair would be in violation of the color code.
So she asked if she would be the a$hole if she decides to skip the wedding altogether.
Using the handle "freakingmerida," Ella shared the hairbrained escapade on the "Am I the A$$hole" SubReddit.
"So Amy is getting married, she has a blue and green and purple theme for the wedding. People are supposed to wear these colours including the [maid of honor] and the bridesmaids."
"What irked me about that post was that my hair is NOT FLAMING MERIDA RED. maybe slightly more [ginger] in low light. This whole thing is completely insane to me and I have no idea where it has come from."
The OP inserted a link to a photo of her hair as an example.
"My hair is what i would describe as strawberry blonde, maybe ginger blonde."
"Those are actual picture's of my hair not some poor stranger's instagram."
"Things have been awkward from the start with Amy demanding that everyone has to stick to this dress code or they will be barred by security at the damn door."
"She has also asked anyone with hair past their waist to cut it in a Facebook post but it got no replies and I can't think of anyone except me and maybe my sister with super long hair."
"My mum and dad are both way more ginger than me and my sister who is 8 months pregnant hair is not much shorter than mine and is super ginger, and Amy never asked her to touch her hair? if anything I got the dull hair gene."
"At first Amy called up to tell me she had made a post here, I took a look and had to laugh to be honest, She linked me early on clearly thinking people would agree with her but she said she was worried because it blew up."
"After things went south she decided to try and 'negotiate' with me, still completely bizarre as my hair is not Merida [from Brave] red."
"My mum and dad called round a few days back to talk about it but got absolutely nowhere with her as she's still insisting i dye my hair a dark brown for the day or get a wig."
"My aunt, Amy's mom called to apologise to me and asked me to please come but I don't feel welcome, can you imagine attending a wedding where the bride stares daggers at you the whole time?"
"and what if the security refuse to let me in. these are extremely similar to the gowns the bridesmaids are going to wear, I've tired mine on and it absolutely dose not clash at all."
Here is a screenshot of a gown similar to Amy's specifications from a website that Ella linked to.
"I bought and paid for my dress so I don't owe her anything but our families are so upset that I'm dropping out."
"But if I go I have no choice except to dye my hair as there never was a compromise or middle ground, it was dye it, buy a short brown bob wig or don't come."
"She specified it has to be a short brown bob wig for some reason."
"I would never ask someone to permemnantly [sic] change their hair for my wedding, I know that would be bonkers so I suggested some temporary hair dye, but Ella argued that she has been growing her hair for 6 years and doesn't want to risk the colour not washing out."
"I thought this was ridiculous ... But Ella says because her hair is completely natural colour it might take strongly to her hair."
"So I gave up on that avenue and suggested a wig ... But she said she would feel self conscious and weird wearing a wig and that because her hair is butt length that it might sit weird on her head."
"So she won't dye it, and won't cover it up. I really don't want to come across as a bridezilla but butt length flaming red hair will destroy the wedding photos, and ruin the colour scheme completely."
"Im at a loss, I can't cut her from the wedding because my mom would murder me but I can't have freaking Merida ruining the photos, AITA for asking this of her for just 1 single day?"
A good majority on Amy's thread responded with YTA (You're the A$$hole.)
"you are asking someone to change their natural hair color. Yes your wedding, but there are limits are you have exceeded the limit."
"Olethros842" agreed and wrote:
"Op is a total bridezilla with this BS ... My hair is a huge part of my self confidence. Op YTA. HARDCORE. You should drop it."
Ella prefaced her side of the story by acknowledging Amy's prior rant.
"Yes I'm aware that my cousin posted here and oh the irony as i showed her this sub last year, but I really don't care if she sees this, maybe it'll hammer the point home."
"And I doubt she will see it as they are currently on their pre-wedding honeymoon, legit didn't even know those were a thing."
Redditors who have been following both threads were highly amused over the drama.
Most agreed Ella was "Not the A$$hole" (NTA).
"NTA. I love it, LOVE IT when we get to hear both sides of an AITA thread, I kinda live for that sort of drama lol! Everyone made it clear to your cousin that she was a bridezilla, don't bother to go if she hasn't realized how insane her expectations are!" – Cest_pas_faux
This might entice Ella to change her mind.
"Amy has been planning this wedding since she was twelve and apparently didn't let her groom have any input whatsoever. If I were in Ella's position, I would happily spend that day doing LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSE."
"Besides, I'm sure someone else will be present at the ceremony and get a recording of the inevitable meltdown from the bride when something isn't perfect."
"That's the only reason I would want to be anywhere near that complete and utter fiasco." – BriarRose21
What is really going on here?
"Translation: 'She'll be prettier than meeeeeee!!!!'" – blampaton
"Honestly red hair with a jewel toned dress would look AMAZING" – Eau_de_Burnt_Toast
"Yeah she got roasted, rightfully. Why is she so jealous of you and your hair? Did she lose a HS bf to you or something? It really sounds like she's singling you out."
"Personally, I admit to random people how much I wish I were a ginger. They're a dying breed, very unique. NTA." – Greatjarb101510
"That's what I thought. Pure jealousy."
"She's worried about her cousins gorgeous hair upstaging her on her day. Luckily, her personality is so sh*tty, no one will even be concentrating on that."
"Also, she's alienated a lot of her family before the wedding. Bridezilla feels appropriate here. If I were OP, I wouldn't go to the wedding if they paid me." – NotChoPinion
People were here for Team Ginger.
"You've tried everything you could to compromise, it's not your fault if your cousin isn't willing to do the same."
"I can't even understand how she's still insisting on having you dying your hair, after literally hundreds of strangers telling her how unreasonable she is."
"Your aunt (the bride's mom) seems to be the only reasonable person in your family, if the others agree with Amy..."
"At this point, not going to the wedding seems to be the best option, that way you don't have to change your hair if you don't want to, and you avoid the inevitable additional drama that would happen if you showed up to the wedding with your current hair."
"It really is Amy's loss." – Cest_pas_faux
"Protecting yourself is not letting the family down and, if they think you ARE letting them down, then the reality is that they let you down."
"Don't set yourself on fire to keep them warm." – WonderTwinkles
Based on the majority responding with NTA, Ella and her gorgeous locks will be MIA.
As an epilogue for the hair caper, Ella updated her post describing the lasting effects from her little hair-dying experiment:
"also to be fair i dyed a small strand underneath to test how it washed out 4 weeks ago, it is STILL DARK BROWN"