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We've all experienced a friendship disappearing into nothing, and that's really painful when it seems to one person that the friendship is in a good place.
While a friendship fading or one person ghosting another, tend to be the most common reasons for a friendship to dissolve, Dr. Arianna Brandolini on TikTok believes she has the recipe for breaking up with a friend through conversation.
In a video that has since gone viral with stunned and negative attention, Brandolini portrayed two people: a friend and another ending the friendship.
The video opened with the friend inquiring about the state of the friendship:
"I've noticed you've been withdrawn and haven't wanted to hang out recently. What's going on?"
The person ending their relationship then explained:
"I've treasured our season of friendship, but we're moving in different directions in life."
"I don't have a capacity to invest in our friendship any longer."
The friend questioned:
"Is it something I did? This feels really sudden."
The other further explained:
"I get that it might be hard to understand, but I've been reevaluating many areas of my life recently, including my ability to be a good friend to you."
"I just want to be honest and upfront so I don't disappoint your expectations."
"I'm sorry if this feels painful or confusing. I wish you all love and success."
You can watch the skit here:
\u201cSociopathy but make it self-care.\u201d— Louis Peitzman (@Louis Peitzman) 1673394201
The video quickly garnered negative and bewildered attention as viewers on TikTok and Twitter attempted to process what they had just seen.
Some were incredibly frustrated by the ingenuine and even "robotic" vibe of the video.
\u201c@cool_scootre @LouisPeitzman It's just incredibly artificial and anyone can immediately see through it, further increasing any anxiety they may have. Ending friendships is fine, but, this is not the way. Be nice, but also authentic. Cuz like you're talking to a real person, not writing a formal resignation\u201d— Louis Peitzman (@Louis Peitzman) 1673394201
\u201c@LouisPeitzman I don\u2019t know what this is, but it feels like something AI would say. Just no humanity, it is a joke, right?\u201d— Louis Peitzman (@Louis Peitzman) 1673394201
\u201c@LouisPeitzman Aka *robot voice* I hate you\u201d— Louis Peitzman (@Louis Peitzman) 1673394201
\u201c@LouisPeitzman \ud83d\udc40\ud83d\udc40\ud83d\udc40\ud83d\udc40"I've read about emotions, many humans have them, it seems that you may be having some emotions. Emotions sound hard."\u201d— Louis Peitzman (@Louis Peitzman) 1673394201
\u201c@LouisPeitzman My problem with this is that she doesn\u2019t actually say anything about why the friendship is ending. \u201cWe are going on different directions\u201d is a pretty meaningless statement. Comes across as just not offering an explanation.\u201d— Louis Peitzman (@Louis Peitzman) 1673394201
\u201c@Hairfeelings @LouisPeitzman Ending a friendship is fine, it\u2019s just the avalanche of lies I have a problem with. No, you did not really enjoy your \u201cseason of friendship\u201d and no you do not wish her \u201call love and success\u201d if you literally can\u2019t stand being around her anymore.\u201d— Louis Peitzman (@Louis Peitzman) 1673394201
Others pointed out how uncomfortable they would be if a friend spoke to them this way.
\u201c@LouisPeitzman I'm not a violent person but this would definitely help me channel that part of myself.\u201d— Louis Peitzman (@Louis Peitzman) 1673394201
\u201c@LouisPeitzman yea but not having to be friends with a person like this any more is like equivalent to winning a medium sized cash prize.\u201d— Louis Peitzman (@Louis Peitzman) 1673394201
\u201c@LouisPeitzman Oh, I hate her so much\u201d— Louis Peitzman (@Louis Peitzman) 1673394201
\u201c@LouisPeitzman I literally had a friend \u201cbreak up\u201d with me this way in college. She didn\u2019t understand when I was upset and said my crying was manipulative LOL\u201d— Louis Peitzman (@Louis Peitzman) 1673394201
\u201c@LouisPeitzman If someone said this to me I would simply never make another friend in my life ever. \n\nAt least that would be my initial reaction. I hope after a couple of drinks with a real friend I'd be laughing my arse off at 'season of friendship'.\u201d— Louis Peitzman (@Louis Peitzman) 1673394201
Some preferred ghosting or fading away over something as awkward as this.
\u201c@LouisPeitzman I don't believe in ghosting...unless the person is bad for your health or toxic. But fading out is always the best way to end a friendship. It takes more time but the friend gets to draw their own conclusions.\u201d— Louis Peitzman (@Louis Peitzman) 1673394201
\u201c@LouisPeitzman What ever happened to stop responding to text messages?\u201d— Louis Peitzman (@Louis Peitzman) 1673394201
\u201c@LouisPeitzman I just had this happen to me by my BEST FRIEND. She started treating me terribly after I moved ahead w a divorce. i forgave her after a lot of talking. Then she started ghosting me in the meanest way at social events. And then THIS. Don\u2019t do this.\u201d— Louis Peitzman (@Louis Peitzman) 1673394201
\u201c@LouisPeitzman I would 100000% prefer to be ghosted. At least then I could pretend the person just died or something, instead of having taken a cool, emotionless survey of their life and decided I was such a problem I had to be deleted immediately.\u201d— Louis Peitzman (@Louis Peitzman) 1673394201
Brandolini was surprised by the amount of negative attention the video garnered and explained there are "many ways" to end a friendship, despite the title of this video suggesting she had the definitive take on how to go about it.
This is a great reminder everyone has their own way of doing things, largely having to do with how they deal with emotions and what their love languages are.
It's important to take those things into account when having a tough conversation like this one, especially if you genuinely do not intend to cause them additional harm.