No good deed goes unpunished. And many good deeds are not a great idea. We all harbor a God/Hero complex whether we acknowledge it or not. Over the course of life we think we have the right to step and save another from and all situations, because we know better, at the time.
But we really need to take a few steps back more often than not, because six times out of ten we seem to just cause more chaos. And "whoops, I'm sorry" doesn't make anybody feel better.
Even with the best of intentions we need to be sure of what we're doing. Is this surprise what they really need? Or want? Is this a momentary good idea? Just some thoughts.
Redditoru/MhmmmMoistwanted to discuss the times everyone's heart was in the right place but their brain was not to be found, by asking:
What's the worst thing someone has done for you with 'good intentions'?
I tell you what is not a good idea, thinking you know people's marriages better than they do. Everyone thinks they can make the love story of others better, but you have to be in the relationship to know how to properly effect it. Let's learn...
In the back...
Julio Cesar Rome GIF by Luis RicardoGiphy"My "friend" kept asking me to hangout with her and a mutual friend that I no longer talked to. After turning her offer down multiple times, she made it her place to tell me everything that the mutual friend had been saying behind my back for years."
Sad Bride
"At my friend's wedding some of their parent's friends who they didn't really want to invite took it upon themselves to go to the table that had all the presents, remove all the envelopes attached to each individual present and neatly put them all together at the corner of the table. My friends realized they did this during the wedding so that would have been crap. The couple thought they were doing something really nice but my friends had no idea who gave what as a gift. The bride was not happy."
Decades Later...
"When I was 16, someone I was friends with bought me a baby turtle for my birthday. Now it's 23 years later and I don't remember the name of the person who did it, but I do know that I've hauled the turtle and his 6ft indoor tank set up and his portable outdoor pond summer residence through six house moves, and paid someone to look after him for a year when I was living overseas. I love him, but I would never have voluntarily bought a pet that lives for 60 years."
"see the light"
"When I was 16, I was was out to very few people, one of them a person I considered a best friend. One day, she invited me to ride horses at her boyfriend's farm, so we ditched class and went. When we got there, his KKK grand wizard grandfather sat me down and proceeded to tell me the Lord told him that I'm gay and he was going to bring me back to God. I spent a few hours confessing my sins to Jesus and pretending to "see the light," then never talked to her again."
- efluxr
Meow me Not
Michelle Pfeiffer Batman GIFGiphy"Bought me a cat for my birthday. Here is a present you have to spend money on and take care of for a decade. Don't do this. Please."
Never just give pets to people. Or plants. Please never give me a plant, I'll forget it's there. And I'll buy my own pets please. That's a presumptuous thought.
Gone
Big Cat Bad Idea GIF by NETFLIXGiphy"Ripped a family member out of my life because they thought it was what was best for me. Really it was because it was what made their life more comfortable."
3 months in 2016...
"For a period of 3 months in 2016 I worked a 40+ hour week graveyard shift job while living at home, which my parents offered to let me do in order to save money. My mom would regularly break into my room regardless if I'd caught any sleep or not and yell at me to help her with tasks around the house because she "wasn't doing me any favors by allowing me to be lazy" and because "I was young and could handle it." I wound up getting the flu and not recovering for 3 weeks because I was so unhealthy from all the sleep deprivation. Thinking about her still makes me angry this many years later."
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AFTER
"My ex-roommate bought the guy I was "dating" online a bus ticket after he told me he had a warrant out for his arrest and needed someplace to go. Unbeknownst to me, she had found his contact information, had also been chatting with him, and decided he could stay with us, but didn't tell me until AFTER he was on the bus. And then she made me pay her back for the bus ticket."
Sax it Up!
"As a middle school sax player in the school band about to go on our very first band trip to perform concerts for other schools in the next province, I was incredibly excited. My mum decided to surprise me the day before we left on the trip, so she put a towel on the bottom of the bathtub, laid my sax on it, and filled the tub with water. She left it to soak, and then polished it to gleaming perfection."
"She was SO PROUD when I got home from school to show me this shiny, sparkling, beautifully clean saxophone. That no longer worked. Every single pad had to be replaced. Which couldn't be done where we lived, so it had to be sent out. I had to borrow the school's 1970s era sax which was beat to sh*t and looked as bad as it sounded. My mum felt so bad. And had to spend a bunch of money fixing my sax."
I Quit!
Giphy"Persuaded me to go work with them at a very, very toxic company. The only thing I was not micromanaged on was my bathroom breaks."
Dear God!
"My mom insisted we paint the baby's nursery. I thought it was fine, but nope, we have to go pick out paint, because baby girl can't have a blue room. She paints half the room, gets paint all over my wood trim (Dear God - it stripped the finish to take it off) then didn't even finish the room. I had to finish painting it myself, the baby was 5 weeks old."
Hiding Evil
"My grandparents kidnapping me and raising me in a cult (that they started) completely cut off from the "evil and worldly" outside world."
Don't Push
"Push me in the deep end of the pool. My dad & uncle learnt to swim by being pushed into the deep end of a pool. So they thought that this would work with me. nope... Here I stand, a 31 Year old male who's scared of water. I can't take baths (I shower) can't go into gyms which have pools, never been near to the sea/ocean. And have anxiety crossing bridges over large bodies of water."
HELP
Nbc No GIF by SuperstoreGiphy"My mom threw away my anti-depressants because she doesn't believe in mental health issues."
I'm Shy
"My friend/roommate and his girlfriend were kind enough to throw me a surprise party. I don't really celebrate my birthday and I REALLY don't like being the center of attention. I appreciate the intention and the effort they put in to it, but it's a little frustrating to have stated that I don't want to celebrate and have someone do it anyway."
truly horrendous...
"My friend's wife has spent half the time I've known her trying to set me up with her friends because she thinks I'm a catch lmao, out of respect and because she's trying to do something nice I've gone out with most of the people she's fixed me up with but it doesn't go anywhere and she obviously doesn't stop being friends with them so at like bday parties for their kids or celebrations for things I'll show up and have to see these girls I've gone out with all in one place and you know they've all talked, truly horrendous."
An Ill Thought
"Gave me food poisoning. Chicken wasn't cooked thoroughly. But it was covered in sauce and cheese, so I had no idea. I ate about 2/3rds of my dinner, then was immediately sick. Like the worst sickness I ever experienced. It was freaking painful."
In his memory...
"Serious here. My 17 year old son was a geek. He was the captain of his high school robotics team. He passed away. We asked that in his memory, people donate to his robotics team as that is what he loved most in life. My mother chose to spend $3000 rebuilding her backyard flower garden in memory of him. That one irked me a little."
Reset
Calculating Oh No GIF by MOODMANGiphy'Clean' my graphical calculator after borrowing it to do one calculation. By deleting every program I've written on it by doing a hard reset."
Bad Christmas...
"Knowing I couldn't have dogs at my house, nor financially support myself let alone a dog, my now ex boyfriend got me a 4 week old puppy for Christmas in 2019. Needless to say it got re-homed a little less than a year later after spending most it's time in an outdoor run kennel at my grandma's. I know he meant well and thought I'd love it. But please for the love of God don't get people pets as presents. If they want a pet they will get one themselves."
Bad Santa
"This one is not "bad" per se but the result was a mini disaster. We hosted a secret Santa among a small group of friends one year and one of the girls decided to send me a copy of Queer Eye guidebook or something. Turns out my mom got hold the package first and she opened it. I was not out to any family at that point."
Here is a thought... mind your business. That can be the best intention with best outcome. Help when it's really called for. Just a thought.
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Jane Rosenberg
Jane Rosenberg
@arianagrande/Instagram
@arianagrande/Instagram