Periods happen. Sometimes unexpectedly.
That's just one of those facts of life you're going to have to deal with if you want to exist in society since, like, half of humans menstruate. That's especially true if you plan on having a romantic relationships with women since there's that whole uterus thing happening for quite a few of them.
That's especially especially true if you loudly proclaim yourself to be a feminist man who supports women's rights and posts Instagram pics of himself at women's rights marches.
Somehow, self-proclaimed feminist, supporter of women, and brother to four sisters, "Ted" missed that memo.
There are lots of ways to handle it when your partner unexpectedly gets their period on your bed and your sheets need have blood on them. Most of them involve just doing some laundry.
"Ted" the feminist, however, opted to handle it with a good old fashioned disgusted freak out - and his ridiculous hypocrisy has earned him his very own song, a place in TikTokers hearts, and this article.
It's all been rather unfortunate for "Ted" but it worked out great for TikTok, who now gets to bask in the glory of this musical number.
Cheers to you, "Ted!"
TikTok user Sez O'Niell wrote a song about "Ted" after his reaction to get unexpectedly getting her period. Most adult men, particularly self-proclaimed feminists, would know enough to know that it's not a personalized insult like when a cat pees on your pillow.
"Ted" isn't most men. Instead, he opted to freak out and lecture Sez over how "nasty" she was for getting her period "as a guest in my house."
Yeah. As if she had been holding it in specifically for his bed sheets just to be rude. Women can't do that, "Ted."
Sez shared the story with Buzzfeed:
"One night, after sleeping at his house, I woke up to realize I had started bleeding in the bed."
"Obviously, this happens to women every now and then, especially if you can’t track your periods, which is a whole other conversation. But I mean, we bleed every month for 30 years or some sh*t, GET OVER IT."
"The patch on the bed was probably the size of an avocado, so not too brutal, but I still said: 'OMG, so sorry about that, I see you’ve got a mattress protector anyway, so let's just chuck your sheets and whatnot in the washing machine.' ”
"He jumped out of the bed and was obviously disgusted. He looked at me and I could tell that he was genuinely grossed out. I felt flabbergasted."
"I’m looking at this 28-year-old man, who has posted Instagrams at the Women's March, performed in front of thousands of people, and has four sisters. Are you f**king kidding me?"
"I asked if he had hemophobia, and he said, 'No, I don't. It's just kind of annoying that you bled in my bed as a guest in my house. Like, that came out of you, and it’s a bit nasty.' ”
"I WAS SHOCKED. Is this man that literally came into this world from a vagina trying to period shame me right now?"
"Mate, you would not be here if it wasn’t for a uterus, and GUESS WHAT BRO, UTERUSES NEED TO SHED SOMETIMES. So get your head out of your a**."
After being called annoying and nasty for something she has zero control over and had offered to help fix, Sez figured it was best to just leave. "Ted" the feminist was clearly not the dude she thought he was.
Unfortunately for "Ted" she went home and put pen to paper. See, Sez is a musician, producer, writer, editor and stand-up comedian.
Yeah, we weren't ready-eady-eady-eady for how catchy this would actually be. Neither was TikTok.
Period Party in the comments!
So to "Ted"—and all the Teds out there—please learn how the uterus works before you decide to start sleeping next to someone who has one.
Otherwise, you might just end up immortalized in a song.
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