And now we have a lesson about not accepting dares, learned the hardest way possible.
A British teen has lost both his nipples after freezing them off with cans of deodorant as part of a dare--well, sort of. It started with the unnamed 15-year-old boy being dared to spray two entire cans of Lynx deodorant onto his nipples in his school's locker room.
After he had done so—and we apologize in advance for the mental image you are about to endure—another student flicked both his nipples and to everyone's surprise, they broke off.
British schoolboy loses both nipples in Lynx dare gone wronghttps://www.indy100.com/news/british-schoolboy-loses-nipples-lynx?utm_content=Echobox&utm_medium=Social&utm_campaign=Main&utm_source=Twitter#Echobox=1643054279\u00a0\u2026— The Independent (@The Independent) 1643054320
Take a moment to compose yourself, and then we'll soldier on.
Ahem. Okay. The boy in question said at first, his nipples just felt very, very cold, but then things took a turn. And somehow, the boy's own description of events, given to British tabloid the Mirror, is even worse than what we've already told you. As he put it:
"It's not really a big thing. And then it starts to burn and you're just there waiting for it to finish."
"It was fine, it was all fine. Then the boy who was actually freezing my nipples, he flicked both my nipples. And that's when the nipples fell off."
Choke it back, because we're not done yet.
"Have you ever seen a wart? It was exactly like that. It hurt. It was like raw, exposed skin."
Naturally, he next went to the hospital, or at least screamed in horror until his vocal cords snapped like twigs, right? Nope! He just went to German class like nothing had happened. As one does, of course!
And then things got worse still.
"I'm in German, just sitting, and my nipples are now gone. I'm just chilling, and then people are like, 'Your shirt is bleeding'. And you just see two blood stains from both my nipples."
So then he went to the hospital and screamed in horror until his vocal cords snapped like twigs, right? Nope again!
"My German teacher actually stopped the lesson and was like, 'What's going on? Do you need to go to the medical room?', and I was like, 'Nah it's fine'."
"Nah, it's fine"! Sure! That seems totally reasonable!
While the boy whose nipples broke off is totally blasé about all of this, Twitter most definitely is not.
Oh ok.https://www.indy100.com/news/british-schoolboy-loses-nipples-lynx\u00a0\u2026— Bahama Breeze Bhil Purnell (@Bahama Breeze Bhil Purnell) 1643112066
For anyone who\u2019s ever written a review commenting on how ridiculous teen boy YA characters can be\u2026 THIS IS THE REALITY!https://bit.ly/3nUWbhv— Simon James Green (@Simon James Green) 1643021316
Wait, what? A schoolmate \u201cflicked\u201d then off?https://www.indy100.com/news/british-schoolboy-loses-nipples-lynx\u00a0\u2026— Dan Leaphard (@Dan Leaphard) 1643224013
Roses are red, He-Man is strong:https://twitter.com/independent/status/1485703617671839752\u00a0\u2026— Guffers (@Guffers) 1643054376
Sad. But that'll teats him...https://twitter.com/Independent/status/1485703617671839752\u00a0\u2026— Lester Kiewit (@Lester Kiewit) 1643054485
Talk to your child about nipple freezing today. Learn more about the risks of nipple freezing at https://2kool4nipplefreezing.co.uk\u00a0https://www.indy100.com/amp/british-schoolboy-loses-nipples-lynx-2656469281?utm_campaign=fullarticle&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=inshorts\u00a0\u2026— akhivae (@akhivae) 1643120100
What's the DUMBEST thing you've done on a dare? Can you top spraying two cans of AXE body spray on your nipples and FROZE THEM OFF?! Very true story. Now a 19 year old in England has NO NIPPLES.— The GetUp Crew (@The GetUp Crew) 1643107435
Apparently spray on deodorant can cause nipple loss... Taking a break from the internet for a few hours Article: https://www.iflscience.com/health-and-medicine/student-lost-both-his-nipples-after-deodorant-dare-went-badly-wrong/\u00a0\u2026\n #wtfpic.twitter.com/JkWYxcE6t6— Mcshnasty (@Mcshnasty) 1643151775
https://twitter.com/iflscience/status/1486019976066646019\u00a0\u2026— Dr. Jenny is VAXXED \ud83d\udc15\ud83d\udc29\ud83d\udc15\ud83d\udc29 (@Dr. Jenny is VAXXED \ud83d\udc15\ud83d\udc29\ud83d\udc15\ud83d\udc29) 1643208524
https://twitter.com/IFLScience/status/1486019976066646019\u00a0\u2026pic.twitter.com/OOTyL9A04P— Dancing on Jelly (@Dancing on Jelly) 1643173727
That is one hell of a quotehttps://twitter.com/IFLScience/status/1486020694639009805\u00a0\u2026— James Robinson (@James Robinson) 1643193387
Blasé though he may be, the lad has learned his lesson. As he told the Mirror:
"Now that I look back on it, it's just like, it's stupid, it happened. Now I've got no nipples."
Yep, that about sums it up.
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Dunning-Kruger Times