People Describe The Stupidest Self-Inflicted Injury They've Ever Gotten

"Then got laid off."

"Leaned forward to look at my face closely in the bathroom mirror. Vertebrae in my lower back slipped out of position. Nine weeks on disability. Then got laid off."

EmotionalAnesthesia

It's true what they say... when it rains, it really pours.

"I once injured my leg..."

"I once injured my leg by jumping off the back of a moving truck, so that I wouldn't be in trouble for riding on the back of a moving truck."

QuillWellington

"I once broke my thumb..."

"I once broke my thumb trying to give someone a hug.

Awkwardly caught it on their body and the ligament of my stretched thumb popped off and took some bone with it!"

Robletron

How did you do that?!

I mean... I know you explained it and all, but... how did you do that?!

"I wasn't watching..."

"I've hurt myself in many weird ways, so this was tough to figure out. A while ago I was riding my bike and saw a rabbit. I wasn't watching where I was going and rode off a retaining wall. I got a concussion from that."

Boonaroomoo

"When it reopened..."

"When I was 5, I was stepped on by a llama. My mom said I had a llama foot-shaped bruise on my back for a couple of weeks.

They closed the petting zoo after that. When it reopened, they no longer allowed people inside the animal pens."

glindabunny

Ah, I see now.

So you're the one who ruined it for everyone else. Gotcha.

(Great story, though.)

"When I was six..."

"When I was six my forehead was really itchy but it was one of those deep itches that you couldn't really scratch out. So my bright 6-year-old brain told me to get into an all-fours position and try rubbing my forehead into the carpet… well I did that and ended up taking a small layer of skin off that took ages to heal completely."

BootyBanditz

Imagine walking in on your kid and seeing this.

You'd think they were possessed.

"I punched myself..."

"I punched myself in the forehead during an improv comedy bit and gave myself a concussion."

jakerhamster

This begs the question...

So are you really strong?

Or just really weak?

"Severed three tendons..."

"Severed three tendons in my left hand while slicing a bagel. Basic tendon repair went over well, but my middle finger got infected. They had to put a tendon from my leg into my hand. Three surgeries over a bagel."

SafariJim

This one wins.

Sorry, everyone. You can all go home now.

"I decided..."

"I decided it would be quicker to walk down an incline of tennis-ball-sized rocks in flip flops with my hands full than walk around on the pavement. I was right - I descended quickly!"

auntiepink

"I had lost..."

"I had lost about 30 pounds, and my belt was getting too big. Most people would say "oh, time to buy a new belt!" The craftier of us might say "time to get out my leather punch!" I say "time to dig a hole in the belt with my folding pocket knife!"

It folded in on itself while I was digging a new hole in the leather and cut my thumb to the bone, and had to go to urgent care to get it stitched up.

My wife bought me a leather punching tool for Christmas that year."

JoeOutrage

We hope you're all thinking twice of playing with knives... or jumping off trucks... or even going outside.

Just stay indoors, preferably in bed. You should be safe. God-willing.

Have some stories of your own? Feel free to tell us all about them in the comments below!