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Most people at one point in their lives has received a gag gift. We put them in a drawer and forget about it until it's time to clean out the drawer. Then we move it to another drawer for a few more years until, eventually, it ends up at a garage sale with a 25 cent sticker on it. Twitter user @oscarwilde isn't like the rest of us.
It seems @oscarwilde decided to not let the gag gift end up in a landfill without fulfilling its purpose of giving the gift of gags. What else is a giant pencil supposed to do, if not make us laugh? Or, as it turns out, make people squirm.
i received this comically large pencil as a gift several years ago and my first thought, understandably, was ‘what… https://t.co/81Almn481q— 🍸 (@🍸)1531427672.0
And so it begins.
the 2nd thought i had was: I’m Quite Certain I Could Ruin Someone’s Day With This. And so a while ago i took it in… https://t.co/fJ7CxQrSJV— 🍸 (@🍸)1531427802.0
i size up my target, watching them feign patting their pockets in vain for the ballpoint they so obviously left at… https://t.co/y6s2pMMDoq— 🍸 (@🍸)1531428116.0
‘Oh’, i say, ‘I’m so sorry; I only have a pencil.’ ‘That’s fine!’ i hear them say, distantly now, as the blood is r… https://t.co/ByO5mkN1VQ— 🍸 (@🍸)1531428296.0
I reach into my bag for The Pencil. The look of utter dumbfounded misery as i hand it to the victim is unparalleled… https://t.co/wIJUxTGGV0— 🍸 (@🍸)1531428558.0
still maintaining that eye contact i smile, only the tiniest fraction, the unspoken words forming between us. ‘What… https://t.co/j3RobeN2cV— 🍸 (@🍸)1531429195.0
they Always take the pencil— 🍸 (@🍸)1531429473.0
People agree; they always take the pencil.
@oscarewilde @tombennett71 I have one, I lend it out to pupils who forget equipment. They can’t sneak it in their p… https://t.co/t5EcumBw6Y— Rae (@Rae)1531428951.0
No matter how awkward.
@oscarewilde Waiting for them to take the pencil like https://t.co/LNZgaMgOeT— ꓘASPVR アート (@ꓘASPVR アート)1531534505.0
There are all kinds of over-sized novelty gifts one can torture people with.
@oscarewilde https://t.co/yrwdUYycDR— Shana (@Shana)1531542716.0
@oscarewilde @thegrugq I kept one of these so people wouldn't steal my lighter https://t.co/6FxqLc3slZ— John P Dandison ☁☁☁ (@John P Dandison ☁☁☁)1531435931.0
@weepinggold @BeruangSinar @oscarewilde @laharrisonmusic I own one of the boring aspirins! But everyone was doubtfu… https://t.co/dasJatbjeA— waxing taxonomical (@waxing taxonomical)1531524835.0
There is a store in Brazil selling only over-sized objects.
@oscarewilde Here in São Paulo, Brazil, we have a city that is namely the "city of the giant things". I'll now name… https://t.co/uVfHNQYKUU— b o r t e (@b o r t e)1531515550.0
Imagine all the fun that could be had!