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Sexologist Tells How She Sells 'Climaxes' For A Living

PA Real Life

A mother from the Home Counties area outside London, England, revealed how her latest job—"selling orgasms"—re-ignited her passion for work.

As UK retail giant Sainsbury's announced it is going to start selling vibrators alongside groceries, sex toy designer Amanda Smith told how business meetings for her usually involve penetrating discussions about sex, fetishes and fantasies.


Regarded as a "sexologist" by her friends, Amanda said:

"Basically, I sell orgasms for a living and, in business meetings, the topic of conversation can go anywhere – we discuss every fetish and fantasy."


Amanda in the Bondara stockroom (PA Real Life/Collect)

She continued:

"I was talking to an accountant two weeks ago and had to explain to him how a willy ring worked while discussing budgets. Just another ordinary day."

As head of buying at Essex firm Bondara—an online adult sex shop—Amanda is responsible for everything from organizing testing panels to designing the saucy toys.

She said:

"Designing a sex toy is like going back to a biology lesson, I have to think about different nerves, different areas, and ways to stimulate them – this helps determine a lot about a toy."


Amanda with daughter Kayla (PA Real Life/Collect)

She added:

"Once I get the basic biology side of things sorted, that's when I start to put fun add-ons onto the toys, like vibrations and rotations and different textures to create new sensations."
"I have to cater to a huge market. Different interests, fantasies and fetishes are always on my mind. I focus on the G spots, C spots and P spots – a lot of spots to think about."

Amanda, whose daughter Kayla is 10-years-old, swapped the nine to five—running a company inspecting buildings—for her current role in 2016. She previously worked as senior buyer for sex toys and lingerie firm Ann Summers.


Amanda with daughter Kayla (PA Real Life/Collect)

She said:

"I left this kind of business for a while, as, a single mum, it gave me flexibility to look after my daughter, who thinks it's great that her mum works so independently."
"But, working in property, I spent too much time alone and I'm a gregarious person. This suits me far better."

Claiming she has never looked back, Amanda's job has also built her an unusual reputation with her friends.

She laughed:

"They envy me having such a fantastic job. I am their sexologist and relationship expert in the psychology of sex and intimacy."
"As for meeting new people, when they find out what I do, there's often an immediate outburst of excitement, followed by a download of their sexual experiences and questions about their curiosities."

Meanwhile, her partner-of-two years, Tony, is unfazed by her saucy line of work.


Amanda with her partner Tony (PA Real Life/Collect)

She said:

"He's interested in who I am, not what I do. But men I've dated before him have assumed I was promiscuous and have overstepped the mark very quickly."
"One ex even introduced me, saying, 'This is my girlfriend and she works as a buyer for Ann Summers.'
"After that, people were more interested in my job than getting to know me for who I am."


Amanda taking a selfie (PA Real Life/Collect)

Amanda says her line of work has made her completely unshockable.

She said:

"I have so much exposure to the sex industry that there isn't much I haven't seen. The world of online porn has meant there isn't a corner or crevasse which I haven't seen for my research."
"Some things have made me more curious about what people want but, so far, nothing has taken me by surprise – other than bondage, which can be a bit 'out there.' When the 50 Shades of Grey trilogy hit screens we saw an overnight boom in demand for sex toys."
"After viewers saw the scene which features the spreader bar – a piece of bondage equipment – the toy completely sold out: there was a 50 Shades effect across the whole market place, from M&S to the likes of us."


Amanda at Bondara (PA Real Life/Collect)

But designing sex toys is not all about thrills—as it can be deeply demanding in a highly competitive market.

She said:

"Our toys need to be able to give people a climax and that's a lot to ask. We also have to try and spot the 'next new thrill.' I try to see the new popular toy design before the customer knows they even want it."
"For example, suction toys for ladies are the new thrill – they feature suction and vibration, working together. This new technology could come out later this year – and I hope it will be the next step for women's toys."


Amanda with her partner Tony (PA Real Life/Collect)

Selling orgasms comes with the additional perk of creating true happiness for some couples, according to Amanda.

She explained:

"It's great, I've been able to help couples restore relationships with the use of sex toys."
"Although my job is all about making sure customers have sexual pleasure, it's also about helping people mentally, by making them feel happier, too."

She continued:

"I've had reviews from customers saying they hadn't had sex in 12 years, but one of my toys helped them break through. When I go home after reading comments like that I think, 'I've done my job well today'."

And, like any true professional, Amanda happily practices what she preaches.

She continued:

"I enjoy a varied and dynamic sex live with my partner and am never too shy to push a boundary … it makes life exciting, doesn't harm anyone and certainly increases the bond between us."


Amanda in the Bondara office (PA Real Life/Collect)

Amanda added:

"And yes, I try the products myself. I love trying new toys and have favourites for different moods or occasions – whether it's for solo play or with my partner. And if I'm confident about the product we sell, then it's a win win situation."
"Life is short and people should embrace their sexuality. Toys will not hurt or harm, but will bring pleasure and fun."
"Why have plain, boring old vanilla ice cream, when you could add some exciting sprinkles and turn it into a delicious experience you're unlikely to forget!"

A version of this article originally appeared on Press Association.