Teachers Share The Most Inappropriate Thing A Kid Has Ever Told Them

Redditor XxClxudyxX asked:

"Kindergarten teachers, what is the most hilariously inappropriate thing a kid you were teaching has asked/told you?"

This will have you rolling!

Getting into the Christmas spirit.

"I was doing story time in the library. It was the first week of December. Kids were sitting on the floor in front of me and a number of parents were standing back behind them. We had some time to kill so I started talking with kids about what they wanted for Christmas. Just trying to feed info to parents."

"A little girl said she wanted a remote control butterfly. Another kid said, 'There's no such thing.'"

"The first girl said, "Sure there is. They're purple. But I want a pink one." Mom, in the back, looked exasperated and turned her head."

"Well, I thought it was exasperation. Turns out, probably not. Found out, later, that purple butterfly is a sex toy."

- eldonhughes

"I'm dying but think about it."

"Did the child touch it?"

- youngchongosreal

"100% yes. Kids touch everything. Especially if it was cool enough to want one of their own for Christmas."

- buggsylove

Show and tell.

"In kindergarten I once took my mom's tampon for show and tell and told the class it was dynamite. I can only imagine the conversation that occurred."

- badericbad

"Do you want to specify that it was a fresh unused one?"

- OThatSean

"Sticks of dynamite are typically red."

- FistedTate

Don't believe everything you hear.

"Went to a Parent Night for my first grader. All these grown-ups trying to squeeze into these little chairs and tables. Mrs. Wagner smiling at all of us...."

"First thing she says is, 'I promise not to believe half the stuff I hear about you from your children, if you promise not to believe half the stuff you hear about me.'"

- cicalino

"Oh, man. I totally would have said, 'Which half?' had I been there."

- TheRealGrifter

The "S" word.

"I'm not a kindergarten teacher but I know someone who is, and she told me the funniest story about a boy and girl in her class. Keep in mind these kids are 5-6 years old."

"Girl comes up to teacher, crying saying the boy called her 'the s word.'"

"Teacher is taken aback, asks girl, 'What is the s word?'"

"Little girl begins crying harder, appears horrified and yells 'I CANT SAY THAT WORD!!!'"

"Teacher calmly explains that she needs to know what the boy said and promises the girl she will not be in trouble for saying it this one time."

"Little girl (still crying hysterically) exclaims 'IM NOT SAYING IT BUT IT RHYMES WITH F*CK!'"

- BachelorTrainwreck

Teachers Describe The One Student That They'll Never Forget | George Takei’s Oh Myyy

"I remember when my daughter was 5, I was venting to her dad about work or something and said, 'I'm not f*cking stupid.' Daughter looked me dead in the eyes and said, 'Mama, we do NOT say stupid.'"

- Portabellamush

"My kids are allowed to say 'stupid coronavirus', nothing else is stupid."

- Magsi_n

"My friend is an elementary school teacher. A little girl came over crying saying a boy called her the 'F' word. Friend asked what that was, thinking it had to do with Fart, and the girl responded, 'He called me a fat a**.' Boy's father swore he had no idea where his son learned the term."

- biscuitboi967

The book store project.

"Not a teacher, but when I was in 2nd grade (about 7 years old) we were creating little towns with a few different stores in them. In my town, I had a 'kids bookstore' and an 'adult bookstore.' The teacher came by and looked over my assignment as I was showing it off and she was like, 'Hmm, let's change that to "grown-up bookstore."' I asked why and she was like, 'Oh, I don't know, it just sounds kind of weird.'"

- follow_your_lines

"My (foreign) parents used to say they watched 'adult movies' meaning PG 13 and R rated."

- Savitribaii

"When I was in 2nd grade, for Father's Day we had to create newspapers all about our dads, their occupations and what we loved about them, etc. My best friend's dad was a volunteer firefighter and also drove a tow truck, which I thought was the coolest - and it was also much less abstract to a 7 year old than my father's occupation - a lawyer."

"I kept asking my mom, 'What does dad do?' but she couldn't explain it in terms that a 7 year old would understand. Finally I said, 'What does he sell to people?' and she said, 'Well, he sells...services, I guess?'"

"And so, my newspaper got printed proudly stating that my dad 'sells services.' Good lord."

- i-hope-it-lands

The coolest thing ever.

"I said something cheekily that was like, 'Aren't I the coolest thing ever?' and a student piped up and said 'No, the coolest things ever are face tattoos.'"

"Not that inappropriate but really unexpected."

BootySniffer26

"Tinkle T."

"K-6 PE teacher here. I have too many of these stories, but I'll never forget 'Tinkle T' who I met during my masters internship. He peed. Often. One day he comes into class after recess covered in something wet. I thought he jumped in a puddle at recess. He said, 'Teacher, I got something nasty on me.' I asked what happened, and he said, 'I went to the bathroom and my dingy didn't work right.' He was literally soaked. Like, hair dripping wet into his eyes. Turns out he tried to pee with a tiny boner, looked right into it, and sprayed his whole body."

AlanaMcEvoy

"This is the best and worst thing I've ever heard."

Image_Inevitable

Kids really do say the darnedest things!