The Biggest 'F**k You' Moments In History According To Historians

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Gotcha

"A pirate known as Jean Lefitte had a bounty of $500 put on him by a governor. So he put a $5,000 bounty on the Governor."

The-big-ouch

Otto

"When Otto von Bismarck was about 50, he was walking down a street when a man ran up to him and shot him five times. Otto then turned around and began to beat the absolute sh*t out of him until some armed guards come to help him. When they inspected Otto for wounds, they found that all 5 hit, but they all either just grazed him or bounced off his ribs. Literally the iron chancellor."

BrittleBandit

Toleration

"Morocco was the first country to recognize the independence of the United States, which was very nice of them, but the reason they did it was that they had a treaty with England which prevented them from tolerating or engaging in piracy against English ships. No such prohibition on American shipping."

CardboardSoyuz

Nothing

"Napoleon invited his brother in law to speak with him before his coronation as Emperor to remind the brother in law that he objected to Napoleon marrying Josephine because Napoleon would 'amount to nothing.'"

InFin0819

"My SIL 'joked' at our wedding that she'd 'give it two years.' We're three years in now and she's allegedly getting married to her current partner (much to her entire family's dismay, everyone hates him, including her son). Not sure if I want to make the same joke at her wedding or pull something like this and invite her to every subsequent anniversary party."

schneeblefish

Overkill

"After the Restoration, the English dug up the body of Oliver Cromwell and hung, drawn and quartered the body, sticking the head on London Bridge."

_Happy_Camper

People are ruthless. Lord.

Call Me

"The first cell phone. The first call ever made from a cell phone was to a competitor's landline."

-Solarsoul-

SUP

"So when France exiles Napoleon Bonaparte (the first time), they didn’t think to change out military personnel. So he basically rolls up to the first French outpost he gets to, says 'sup' and begins reassembling an army. By the time he gets to Paris, he’s got enough forces that France is like 'Well. Welcome back.'"

Mr_Henslee

The 70's

"In the 1970s the small town of Vulcan, West Virginia asked for state funding to replace a bridge into town. The state legislature refused to grant Vulcan the funding they needed. Instead the town appealed to the Soviet Union for aid. After hearing about the request, the state legislature immediately granted over $1 million for the town to build a new bridge."

"If a small town in WV asking for soviet funding in the middle of the Cold War isn’t a big middle finger to the state government, then I don’t know what is."

NuggetBiscuits69

Against the Spanish...

"This is already one of my favorite threads in reddit history..."

"Galvarino: Chilean warrior who had both his hands cut off by the conquistadors for raising arms against the Spanish. Instead of letting himself serve as a message of helplessness in the face of the invaders the crazy b**tard strapped swords to his stumps and went on the warpath."

-Inaros

Mephisto

"I’m not an historian, but i know this WW1 fact: in 1918 during the battle of Villers-Bretonneux, major James Robertson made a plan to steal a german tank stuck in no man’s land. There was no point in getting it, because it was dangerous going out there and the tank wasn’t a threat to anyone."

"Not giving f**k about that he grouped with 12 other men to retrieve that tank, under machine gun fire and inside mustard gas, just to say to the german army 'Forget you, look what we got here.' Thanks to him and the other men, today that tank is the only original WW1 tank we have and it’s called 'Mephisto.'"

BootFromUsb

Friends

"Julius Caesar's death. At least he died surrounded by friends."

Dankestcat69

I remember none of this from school. Good to know.

Do you have any to add to the list? Let us know below.