When you first hear of couples sleeping in separate rooms, you might think this is a sign of a marriage on the rocks.
It isn't always the case, though it's understandable why the average person would think.
Society gives us this idea that married couples should do everything together, so the idea that a couple might sleep in separate rooms sounds like heresy!
If anything, however, doing so might just be the reason why some marriages work.
So why do people decide sleeping in different rooms makes sense?
We heard some people share their reasons why they do this after Redditor Dalewin asked the online community:
"Married couples who sleep in separate rooms, why do you do this?"
"My grandfather built a small apartment..."
"My grandparents do this. My grandfather built a small apartment on the second floor of their house. They do it because they have different sleep schedules and in general they spend much of the day apart because they like it that way. But they always eat lunch and dinner together, and my grandfather loves to listen to her soft footsteps throughout the day."
"He calls her “the woman next door.” It’s really cute."
kthrynnn
The "soft footsteps" is the cutest!
"My mother claims..."
"My parents do this. My Mom likes to sleep with the TV on, my Dad snores and steals sheets. My mother claims sleeping separately saved their marriage."
Slav_Vapor
It might as well have! Stealing sheets is an unforgiveable sin, by the way. I get it.
"I know an older couple..."
"I know an older couple that have separate rooms. From what I can tell, they’re very much in love, and very clearly and openly affectionate with each other. Apparently her snoring is next level. Like, their dog starts barking if he’s nearby."
jsffs
A terrible snorer can definitely put one half of a couple in a very bad mood! Sounds like they've found a solution that works for them.
"They both snore..."
"Girlfriend’s parents do this. They both snore and do it to get away from each other’s snoring. I didn’t think it was that bad until they talked about having to sleep in the same bed during their trip in Europe. They were at each other’s throats because if one fell asleep, the other couldn’t."
OverthinkingMachine
Get them matching CPAP machines and problem is solved. They would be healthier too.
"My parents slept in separate beds..."
"My parents slept in separate beds as did my great grandparents. For my great grandparents it was a comfort thing. Grandma didn’t like not being able to move around the bed at will. She and grandpa loved each other dearly and she passed not long after he did because she missed him so much."
"For my parents it was a couple things. As my dad aged his sleep cycle went weird. He would be able to sleep a couple hours and then be up half the night and fall asleep again about the time my mom was getting up for work. Also my mom has sleep apnea and uses a CPAP."
"It made hella noise back then. Dad was half deaf and the sound still bothered him. Out of respect for each other they decided it was better to have separate bedrooms."
WyoGirl79
That should make many couples feel better about sleeping separately. Doing so doesn't necessarily mean that your marriage is falling apart.
"Sometimes..."
"Sometimes I have to sleep on the couch because I get hypersensitive to sound, especially human sound, and don’t like the noise his whole existence makes. He gets it, luckily."
[deleted]
It sounds like you might be dealing with misophonia.
"I am an absolutely terrible..."
"I do this. I am an absolutely terrible person to share a bed with. I snore like a passing semi truck and apparently (I'm told) flail wildly in my sleep. When we first got married I kept waking up to an empty bed. She would join me for an hour until I was asleep, then retreat to the couch."
"After a week or two I got fed up and just went to the couch first. Then started several months of us trading off for the couch. Eventually I just went and bought a twin mattress and tossed it in the office. That became my bed. And when we got a bigger house, I just setup in a separate room."
pineapplesarepeoplet
Have you been checked for sleep apnea? A lot of people don't realize they have it or how bad it's gotten until they get hooked up to a CPAP for the first time in a sleep study.
"He wakes up..."
"Different sleep cycles and work schedules. He wakes up 3 hours before me."
Soumeyab
That would do it. And some people are very sensitive to the sounds of people moving and waking up next to them, especially so early.
"I've been asked..."
"Sleep cycles and she violently tosses around. I've been asked by my commander if I got into a fight when I showed up to duty with a black eye."
[deleted]
Did you tell your commander the truth? Or do they think you just like to get into fights?
"She likes it freezing..."
"My grandma and grandad do. She likes it freezing and he likes it boiling."
NotwithstandingNick
Sounds like they've found a way to solve a simple problem!
As you can see, couples do what they can to make their relationships work. Marriage is hard—separate rooms might just make things much easier!
Have some stories of your own? Tell us more in the comments below!
