Move over, Ron Perlman, you've been usurped: There's a new Hellboy in Florida, and he's breaking the internet.
A man who briefly appeared in a news clip about stingrays in St. Petersburg, Florida completely stole the show from the giant fish when his positively incandescent--and frankly horrifying--sunburn upstaged them.
The video, posted by ABC News on July 9, is meant to show a spectacular natural phenomenon: enormous stingrays casually swimming past beachgoers, who don't even notice the stingrays are there.
And it is spectacular--until the 0:18 mark when a glowing red ember in the shape of a man appears in the bottom right corner.
KEEP SWIMMING: Huge stingrays are seen swimming past Florida beachgoers who appear completely unaware of their pass… https://t.co/10cwabKc4k— ABC News (@ABC News) 1594339324.0
What color would you even call him? Crimson isn't quite right... Magenta? Fuschia?
In any case, the man has surely disintegrated into ashes in the week since ABC first posted the video, but that hasn't stopped the internet from--well, roasting him, not that he needs anything to do with any source of heat whatsoever, ever again for the rest of time.
There were several comparisons to Hellboy, the deep-red, half-demon, half-human character created by Dark Horse Comics in 1993. In addition to comics, Hellboy has been immortalized in three films, two fo them starring Ron Perlman in the title role, and the most recent, in 2019, starring Stranger Things star David Harbour.
And it's tough to argue that the sunburned gent's barrel-chest physique and buffalo-chicken-wing hue do rather favor the classic comic book character.
In any case, the internet's burns have been almost as bad as the sun's for this crispy-fried beachgoer!
@ABC @TheDejaKing Hellboy kinda let himself go.— Rob Patton (@Rob Patton) 1594409526.0
@ABC Is that satan having a swim?— Serial Commenter (@Serial Commenter) 1594340896.0
@ABC this is the worst sunburn i’ve ever seen in my entire life— Ross Rotwein (@Ross Rotwein) 1594349657.0
@JustinESports @ABC Ain’t no one gonna tell him he gotta wear sunscreen... his body his choice!!! 😂😂😂— JonnyManaconda (@JonnyManaconda) 1594343687.0
@ABC I love Twitter. We came for stingrays, we stayed for the red lobster.— Christian (@Christian) 1594341602.0
@ABC Rays are always in the water. The glowing Lava man scares me much more.— Rodney Hedrick (@Rodney Hedrick) 1594371740.0
@ABC Those are melanomas not sting rays.— Laurie Kilmartin (@Laurie Kilmartin) 1594515368.0
@ABC That first dude is the most sunburnt human I have ever seen. That's gonna be straight up closed casket, yo.— Jon Jones (@Jon Jones) 1594343628.0
@ABC Good lord ,to the dude in the water,SUNSCREEN!!!— Cindyscomet Biteme (@Cindyscomet Biteme) 1594339615.0
Let this serve as a reminder that a bottle of sunblock will run you about $3.00 at your local drugstore. Learn from Hellboy's mistakes!