The old zodiac signs are so played out—they've been around for hundreds of years, and it's time for something new! Fortunately, Twitter user @g_pratimaaa has come up with a way to determine your new and improved zodiac marker. Simply type "Florida man" and your birthday into Google and whatever comes up represents you at a cosmic level!
EVERYBODY google “florida man” followed by your birthday (florida man august 22) and tell me what you get. mine is… https://t.co/2yGEkOOIST— swervin merv (@swervin merv) 1553011383.0
The results were entertaining to say the least...
@g_pratimaaa My bday wasn’t as exiting as this dudes day https://t.co/U2mwbzEM1s— Ryan James (@Ryan James) 1553122658.0
florida man found bright green iguana in his toilet, called 911 https://t.co/6zx5tTrSRy— vin; androgyne (@vin; androgyne) 1553130873.0
@g_pratimaaa i’m dead wtf aha this thread is gold https://t.co/LJiQ5UfrWn— Trin🤪 (@Trin🤪) 1553111793.0
Many preferred their Florida man stories to their original zodiac sign.
@g_pratimaaa thank you for this. https://t.co/j0N6sOidOf— Kristine 💫🦹🏼♀️ (@Kristine 💫🦹🏼♀️) 1553125936.0
Florida man gets stuck after climbing down 30-foot well 'for bragging rights' https://t.co/94ckarKk1S— John Bowen Jr (@John Bowen Jr) 1553131351.0
@g_pratimaaa https://t.co/kL19OALmGT— Merrill (@Merrill) 1553129370.0
Apparently there are a lot of naked people in Florida...
Naked Florida Man revealed on video sneaking into restaurant and munching on ramen https://t.co/lE4fP8ZKLH— Peter Bruno (@Peter Bruno) 1553131355.0
Florida man with no arms charged with stabbing man with scissors https://t.co/XRVBPG8J1m— Your Old Pal Andy (@Your Old Pal Andy) 1553131357.0
florida man gets on line to conquer thanksgiving sales https://t.co/VmdYxMbEVj— anna lee (@anna lee) 1553131368.0
Are these people villains or heroes?
"FLORIDA MAN DONS SPIDER-MAN MASK DURING LIQUOR STORE BURGLARY" (January 2) https://t.co/abIoDufYfR— 𝕔𝕙𝕣𝕚𝕤𝕥𝕚𝕟𝕒 (@𝕔𝕙𝕣𝕚𝕤𝕥𝕚𝕟𝕒) 1553131350.0
Florida man wrecks liquor shop, blames “caterpillar” https://t.co/D0Mde0FRM8— Marie Schmidt (@Marie Schmidt) 1553131367.0
Sometimes, you've just got to striptease.
Florida man arrested for attempted striptease at restaurant https://t.co/dzoR7UxLHt— Drew (@Drew) 1553131376.0
“Neighbors complain about Florida man doing yardwork naked.” Welp. https://t.co/T7VToRjtUb— Angie Thomas (@Angie Thomas) 1553131194.0
If only we all had this level of confidence:
@g_pratimaaa Well this is amazing. “Florida man faces charges for eating pancakes in the middle of the road.” https://t.co/TIRjauxUG1— Daniel Greer (@Daniel Greer) 1553131364.0
Florida man arrested for assaulting his roommate with a pizza https://t.co/ZijkBT7RAk— Alexandra Erin (@Alexandra Erin) 1553131318.0
Of course, not all of the headlines were so embarrassing...
"Florida man pretends to be homeless, gives $100 to those who tried to help" wtf this is wholesome I wanted a fuck… https://t.co/hb1D007Ze5— i bless the rains down in Castamere (@i bless the rains down in Castamere) 1553129710.0
...but most of them were.
Florida man jumps into crocodile pit, gets bit, claims he was held captive https://t.co/Sx72EoDu78— Micah @ IconiCon 3/30 (@Micah @ IconiCon 3/30) 1553131348.0
“Florida man arrested for shoplifting after job interview” https://t.co/VU0cLHlCNb— Andrew Walker (@Andrew Walker) 1553129460.0
If you've discovered your Florida man headline, you're already well on your way to complete self-understanding. Your birthday says many things you've probably never even realized!
If you can't get enough of Florida Man, check out this entire compilation of "Hilariously True, Unbelievable Headlines that Could Only Happen in Florida."