College students face a lot of pressure: choose the right career, get into college, earn scholarships and grants when possible and get good grades.
That can be a lot to juggle when it feels like the people you live with aren't supporting you.
That's probably how this college student felt when he nearly lost his college grant fund, because he didn't see an important letter that came from his school's financial aid office.
Redditor "FuzzyPuzzles" wrote into the "Am I the A**hole?" (AITA) subReddit, wondering if he was wrong for being angry with his parents for opening his mail and potentially costing his college funds.
The Redditor asked:
"[Am I the a**hole] for yelling at my parents for opening my mail and potentially costing me my student grant?"
The student said of his situation:
"My whole family are really annoyed with me and I think it's total bulls**t."
He previously received an email from his college, which he replied to.
"About 10 weeks ago I got an email to reapply for my student grant next year, so i went online, filled out the application form and they emailed me saying that everything should be fine and that the process would be automatic, that all [they] had to do was call the college to confirm that I was progressing."
But he had more to do than reply to an email.
"Today I was driving my dad across the city so he could drop his stereo off outside a repair shop to get it repaired. He asked me how I was getting on with my student grant application and I told him I had submitted it 10 weeks ago. He then asked me about the letter and the forms I had to fill out."
"I asked him what he was talking about and it turns out that I had gotten a letter from the grant office 2 weeks ago asking for vital additional information."
But he didn't know about it, because his parents opened the letter for him.
"My parents had opened the letter and never told me about it, since half of the details needed to come from them, they just never told me/forgot to tell me about the letter."
His parents forgetting to tell him could have a big impact on his education.
"The grant Office specified that the documents need to be returned to them within 21 days and include my father's tax return figures which he says he will have done early next week because they are going to visit my sister across the country for the weekend."
"That means it is possible that my letter back to the grant office could be late and I could potentially lose my grant, without which I will not be able to continue my studies."
The student was angry for how this situation played out.
"I got really angry that 1) they opened my mail without telling me. 2) they won't have the documents I need until it might be too late and 3) don't seem to care that I might not get to finish my final year of university."
His parents don't agree with his being angry, though.
"I yelled at them about it and called them selfish and now my family are all telling me how wrong and mean I am."
The student turned to Reddit, looking for a second opinion.
"AITA (Am I the A**hole) for getting mad at them? I know it's not great to shout at people but I feel my anger was warranted in this case."
Fellow Redditors replied, using the following scale:
- NTA: "Not the A**hole"
- YTA: "You're the A**hole"
- ESH: "Everybody Sucks Here"
- NAH: "No A**holes Here"
Some Redditors pointed out how stressful it must be to have his financial future up in the air at a time like this.
"NTA! For starters it's illegal to open someone else's mail and secondly it's going to possibly interfere with you being able to afford your education. Fingers crossed for you it gets sent back in time, can you email them and explain your situation at all?" - lauraflora91
"Trust me you are NTA!!! It's so illegal to open someone else's mail AND it's time sensitive and they didn't mention it to you!" - lilmsssunshine
"Your parents owe you the $ of that grant. NTA, they didn't even apologize." - BirdBrainRobin
One Redditor viewed this as a huge invasion of privacy.
"I am so, so sorry this bs happened to you OP. Your parents invaded your privacy, stole your time and money, and aren't even apologetic? That is incredibly rude. NTA, OP not in any way shape or form" - Reginald_Ufferly
A few pointed out this also qualifies as a federal crime, even between family members.
"By the way, they also committed a federal crime. They aren't allowed to open your mail." - CoronaFunTime
"(Them) Opening your mail is a federal crime. You have every right to be p**sed off" - BanjoKitten
One Redditor recommended it would be worth starting a post office box, too.
"You should think about getting a post office box for yourself" - Firefighter_chick
Though potentially losing your financial aid would be a very stressful time, this also appears to be a good time for the college student to have a vital conversation with his parents about boundaries.
Hopefully they'll be able to just meet that deadline, and everything will work out.
*If you enjoyed this article, you can read more like it by clicking on the AITA link below.*
