A young mother had come to terms with the fact that her ex-boyfriend was going to have no part in their baby boy's life after he failed to make good on his initial promise to periodically see their son.
However, a mutual friend had some disturbing news for her.
"So little baby 'J' was born 16/5/17, his dad had broken up with me during the pregnancy, I didn't hold a grudge and wanted him to be involved, he promised me he would be but was never there - he was almost immediately in a relationship again and last I heard she was pregnant within 3 months, his life and his choice."
"He was never there for J, he has seen him literally 3 times all adding up to a total of 3hrs and 24 minutes, he does not pay child support, I do not want child support from him."
The OP had made peace with the fact that she was going to be a single mom. And then this happened.
"So, I have a friend who is friends with my ex on fb and he recently texted me a screenshot of a post on exs wall."
"It was a picture of J, the day he was born."
"It was captioned 'Happy 3rd birthday, K, I wish your mother wouldn't keep us apart anymore, I wish you could meet your sibling but that isn't happening, I hope in the future we will meet just know you are my world'"
"(He had wanted to name our son K)"
Despite his accusation, she set the record straight.
"I do not keep them apart, at all, I encourage visits, I even bought him a carseat and something for J to sleep in when he visits."
"People were sympathizing with him."
She was not going to let him get away with vilifying her.
"So, I know this is tacky, I commented screenshots of texts of me offering to bring J around, of asking him when he would visit etc."
"I was blocked 3-4hrs later but damage had been done."
"He texted me calling me an AH and apparently his girlfriend had broken up with him over it and now he looks bad in front of his family."
"I don't really care what he thinks but my friend thinks I was an AH too and what I did was in bad taste. AITA?"
Redditors sided with the OP and suggested she should still file for child support by explaining details of its benefits.
"NTA It's good that you exposed his lies."
"Oh and file for child support. Whether or not you want it, your child deserves the support of both parents. If you don't need the money, then you put it away for his education." – FireWisp
"Yes, PLEASE file for child support. My mom didn't file for child support when she divorced my dad for similar reasons, and I am now thousands in student loan debt."
"That child support money could have changed my life. NTA" – sammi961
"Putting it away in government bonds or something like that from the time the kid is 2 or 3 should be able to pay for a good chunk of school." – AndrogynousAlfalfa
"Bonds? No way. Yeah, if your target to start university is 1993. This is what my ex's mom did, and it did him no good. Put in a 529 fund. But this is a topic for a diff sub." – atomikitten
"Unless it's specifically added to a custody agreement that Child Support continues during college, most states stop child support payments at either the age of 18, or when the child graduates high school, whichever comes last."
"So unless the person receiving child support were to save up that money over the years in a college fund, you would still have student loan debt." – Manyelynn13
"Child support is an entitlement, not an agreement; all going to court would do is make the judge issue the order to collect child support."
"The judge doesn't care if he didn't agree to pay, because he has to pay - and the judge is there to order the payment."
"It's more likely previous payments would be reviewed to ensure enough was paid back then, too." – Xenogenes
"Even if you don't NEED the money, just put the CS money into a savings account."
"Best case scenario, you never need it and J has a good start at a college fund. Worst case scenario, you run into hard times in 10 years and have a backup plan." – Youre_ARealJerk
This user shared their experience of having a father who did not demand for child support from the separated mother.
"My dad has custody of me and I'm seventeen for reference. We have enough money as to where we aren't living paycheck to paycheck and I buy the things I want with money I make at my job."
"He doesn't and hasn't made my mom pay child support and I really wish he had."
"We have 5 kids in this house (one my age) and I'm really wishing we had the extra money to save for my college because I have no idea how I'm gonna afford it. and definitely NTA." – denkeijiro
This is about the needs of the child.
"It's about J getting what he deserves, not what you want, sorry."
"There was nothing petty about what you did. He was maligning you to cover for being an absolute deadbeat, which is gross. If he didn't want to get called out, he shouldn't have lied. Honestly, you also did his GF a HUGE favor."
"Also, I truly don't understand how your friends think you're the AH at all, but we're with you." – halfveela
"Agree! I love a good petty revenge story, but this isn't petty at all. This is just... completely necessary." – predatorandprey
"My sons father is similar. I finally called him out on a FB post he made as well. All the sudden he started paying child support."
"For the first time in 9 years. That is my sons college fund now. It's not about you 'wanting' child support. It's what is owed to your child. Oh, NTA for sure. Mainly because I did the same thing and don't feel like I'm an AH." – shaerae0929
Now about that deadbeat dad.
"NTA. Not only is a deadbeat dad, but he was also lying to make you look bad. Now at least more people know the truth." – footfaceball
"He was asking for it with that BS post. If he hadn't lied to everyone in his life, you wouldn't have been able to bust him. Simple."
"He's a deadbeat sperm donor and has no one to blame but himself. I applaud you for what you did."
"If I may offer some unsolicited advice: Make him pay child support. I get why you don't want him to. But it's your son's money and you should go get it for him." – FeedThePug
"NTA, I get not wanting to broadcast sh*t on social media, but this jerk is not only willfully ignoring his child, but then also pretending it's your fault?! F that noise!"
"He deserves to be called out... his girlfriend has probably been believing this lie he's fed her, so it's his own fault if she broke up with him." – wildplums
"He got caught in a terrible lie, he deserved it."
"Good on you too, I had an ex who would post nasty stuff about me on FB so much that I had to make a public statement about it telling people none of it was true and to excuse his behavior because he was emotionally upset that I broke up with him."
"Of course, nobody knew I broke up with him because he was a drug addict who routinely stole medication from my parents medicine cabinet." – PoshyStroons
Take that money, OP.
Your son will be eternally grateful.