Skip to content
Search AI Powered

Latest Stories

Woman Asks If She's Wrong For Not Telling Guy She Was Dating That Her Daughter Is Biracial After He Made A Big Deal About It

Woman Asks If She's Wrong For Not Telling Guy She Was Dating That Her Daughter Is Biracial After He Made A Big Deal About It
eyecrave via Getty Images

Racism against mixed race people is pervasive.

Mixed race people often encounter prejudice from all sides, being told that they don't belong to any community.


So when you encounter that prejudice, as a parent of a mixed race person, how do you respond?

Redditor AmarieMaresca81 wanted to know if there was something wrong in the way she dealt with a potential partner's prejudice.

She went on the popular subReddit "Am I The A**hole?" or "AITA" and asked:

"AITA for not telling the guy I was dating that my daughter is biracial?"

She began with how she met the guy in question:

"I started dating this guy I met in January of this year. We went on a few dates here and there, but nothing serious. In March we all went into lockdown, so he and I just texted back and forth, spoke on the phone, and video chatted. Our restrictions just started to lift here and I was really liking this guy, so we decided to hang out and go on a hike. After the hike, we went back to his place to watch a movie and have dinner."

date flirting GIF by Baby Driver Giphy

When the conversation turned to their kids, his prejudices became clear very quickly.

"I was at his place for a couple hours, and we started talking about our daughters. He also has a daughter who is close in age to mine. He had never met my daughter because I don't bring men around my child unless it's a serious relationship. He began showing me pics of his daughter, so I did the same."
"When I was swiping thru pics of her, he asked me if she was mixed. I told him yes, and that my ex husband is black. He then started telling me that I should've told him this in the beginning."

And then he decided to go for a healthy dose of gaslighting:

"I didn't understand because I've never experienced this before. I've always been upfront with the few guys I've dated that I have a child, but I never thought it was important for me to make sure to add that she's biracial."
"He started saying that he didn't think he could go on dating me because his family is very against interracial dating, and they would never accept him dating someone with a child who is mixed. He kept saying over and over that I should've told him because now he's hurt because he really liked me."
"I ended up going off on him and left."

Eyeroll Reaction GIF Giphy

Though he's been trying to make nice, our original poster, or OP, wasn't in a forgiving mood.

"He's been texting me to apologize and trying to call, but I just ended up blocking him. I told some of my friends and family members about this, and the response has been about half and half."
"Some say I should've told him, while others say he's the a**hole. I haven't dated much since my divorce, so now I'm wondering if this is something I need to tell a date right away."
"I don't get it, and I don't think I did anything wrong, so I'll let u guys be the judge."

Redditors decided who if anyone was wrong by declaring:

  • NTA - Not The A**hole
  • YTA - You're The A**hole
  • ESH - Everyone Sucks Here
  • NAH - No A**holes Here

Most everybody agreed it wasn't OP's job to anticipate her date's racism.

"NTA, frankly I'd be put off if I was on a date and I asked: 'hey do you have any kids?' and they said 'yes, she's 7, she loves my little pony, and she's biracial' I'd think that's weird. He has a super-specific situation in which that was relevant."
"Edit: Sorry guys, I was taking him on good faith that his family was just nuts. Not everyone has the option/resources to just cut toxic family members off. Obviously, if he has a problem with her daughter being biracial personally, he can go F**K himself."
"I'm just taking it as he found out this super cool lady he liked had a kid that would be abused and disrespected by his toxic racist family if he chose to pursue a relationship. Either way she's NTA."~StumbleBee42
"NTA. And honestly? Dude was a racist."~KCELESTINO

Schitts Creek Reaction GIF by CBC Giphy

"NTA NTA NTA you dodged a bullet."
"'He started saying that he didn't think he could go on dating me because his family is very against interracial dating, and they would never accept him dating someone with a child who is mixed.' He's enabling his family's racism instead of standing up for it, which is causing him to act racist as a result."
"'He kept saying over and over that I should've told him because now he's hurt because he really liked me.' He's not hurt because he really liked you. He's hurt because he's experiencing cognitive dissonance between liking you and pleasing his family. He recognizes that he can't do both, so he chose his family over you."
"The race of your CHILD shouldn't matter at all to the person you're dating. If it does, all the more reason for them to self-select themselves away from you."
"'I ended up going off on him and left. He's been texting me to apologize and trying to call, but I just ended up blocking him.' GOOD."~Genidoxian
"NTA. Using this guys logic, he should have let you know in the beginning his family was a bunch of ignorant racist sh*t heads"~twix0731

ineedthisforreactions GIF Giphy

Racists always seem to put the fault on the other person.

"NTA. It's important to disclose information that could potentially impact a future partner. The only reason this information would impact a partner is if that partner is a racist a**hole."
"So, in that sense, maybe it would have been a good idea to disclose that information sooner so you could have blocked him and moved on before wasting so much time on him."~bethfromHR
"NTA and bullet dodged. Even putting aside his racist family, this is a guy who expects you to manage his emotions for him including from before you ever knew he existed. Fly and be free, OP."~RainyDayWeather
"NTA. The only thing you needed to tell him was that you have a child. Who cares if she's mixed race? The answer; only a racist. You did the right thing by blocking him, especially when he put the guilts on you and made it plain his family are a whole bunch of racists as well."~Pebbles220619

racist wonder showzen GIF Giphy

"NTA. You've disclosed the important stuff - like the fact that you have a child. Why would it even be something you'd think to disclose what race your child is? You should guess that he or his family is a racist? Ridiculous. You were right to block him."~milee30

The consensus that OP was not at fault was overwhelming.

Hopefully in future she finds better people to share her life with.

*If you enjoyed this article, you can read more like it by clicking on the AITA link below.*

The book Dating and the Single Parent: * Are You Ready to Date? * Talking With the Kids * Avoiding a Big Mistake * Finding Lasting Love is available here.

More from Trending

group of men; Silverback gorilla
Sean Murphy/Getty Images; JOSE JORDAN/AFP via Getty Images

Viral Tweet Claiming That 100 Unarmed Men Could Beat A Single Gorilla Sparks Heated Debate

In the early morning hours of Friday, April 25, X user DreamChasnMike posited the outcome of a showdown between Homo sapiens sapiens and one of our closest relatives.

Or rather 100 men versus one of our fellow primates.

Keep Reading Show less
GOP Lawmaker Dragged After Admitting He Has No Evidence Of Student 'Furries' Using Litter Boxes

GOP Lawmaker Dragged After Admitting He Has No Evidence Of Student 'Furries' Using Litter Boxes

Texas Republican state Representative Stan Gerdes admitted on Wednesday that a bill he sponsored served no purpose and addressed an issue that never existed in American schools.

His bill, HB54, would ban "furries" from classrooms. Furries are a subculture that enjoys dressing up and acting like non-human animals.

Keep Reading Show less
Donald Trump
Win McNamee/Getty Images

The White House Now Has Its Own News Website—And People Are Calling It Out For What It Is

Critics called out the Trump administration for running its own propaganda network after the White House publicized "White House Wire," its own news website that features news articles from conservative news outlets like the Daily Caller and Fox News.

The White House Wire (WHWIRE) primarily features positive coverage of the president and administration, with stories mainly sourced from conservative outlets and contributions from government staffers. One early headline, "100 Days Of Hoaxes: Cutting Through The Fake News," was notable but did not include a direct link to a story.

Keep Reading Show less
A young blonde woman in a black suit sits at her desk, her laptop is open and she is staring off in deep thought, she seems a bit perplexed.
Photo by Magnet.me on Unsplash

People Reveal The Pettiest Reason They Stopped Sleeping With Someone

Some sexual encounters you remember for life for the wrong reason.

That's why people should come with warning labels.

Keep Reading Show less
Screenshot of Donald Trump
Fox News

Trump Suggests Kids Will Just Have To Deal With Having A Lot Fewer Toys Due To His Tariffs

President Donald Trump was criticized for his response to concerns about empty store shelves due to his tariffs, suggesting that children will just have to settle for "two dolls instead of 30," and that those dolls might cost more than they used to.

U.S. businesses are already canceling orders from China and delaying expansion plans as they brace for the fallout from Trump’s trade policies.

Keep Reading Show less