For most of us, bluntly discussing your personal abortion experience at work would be frowned upon.
But one woman on Reddit is earning praise for doing just that in response to a male coworker's misinformed and inaccurate anti-abortion ramblings.
After her mic-drop moment, the mansplainer had a choice. He could back down in the face of a factual rebuttal ... or he could double down and be "that guy."
Of course, he chose option B.
The mansplainer decided that he was pearl-clutchingly offended that she would talk about abortion at work since it's such an inappropriate topic - disregarding, of course, that it was he who initiated the inappropriate conversation in the first place. Also, a second co-worker told her that he was concerned mansplainer might look at her differently now.
She left that encounter feeling proud and secure in the fact that she had said something, but also with some questions about the way she said something.
Had she gone too far?
Like all citizens of the internet are wont to do, she turned to a jury of her e-peers for their thoughts on the matter. She took to the subreddit AITA or "Am I The A**hole?"
It's a space designated for people to share the grey-area encounters in their lives and proverbially ask the world "Hey... was I the jerk in that situation?"
She explained the story in her post:
"AITA for talking frankly about my abortion, when my coworker was making some wild generalizations about what abortions are like?"
"I was in the break room at work and my coworker Arthur who tends to talk a lot about politics... Got to talking about politics.
It was me, my coworker John who I'm good friends with, Adam who I don't know too well, and Arthur in the room. I was kinda sitting back from the discussion because I wanted to chill and eat lunch."
"But it kind of annoyed me that Arthur was making comments about women getting abortions without knowing what they're getting into, making impulse decisions because they're scared of Parenthood. As if this is a big thing that happens often.
I spoke up and said I didn't think it was like that; our state has mandatory counseling and meetings to make sure the person is giving informed consent. And I didn't think anyone was going about it willy nilly without knowing what they were doing."
"He got kind of blustery, saying 'how do you know that they don't just rush you through that, tick a few boxes?'"
"I said that when I'd had mine, I had a very practical and informative counseling session that gave me a lot of information on my options, what I'd expect from the procedure, what my specific risks of continuing with a pregnancy would be, due to a medical condition of mine. And I didn't feel at all like I was doing something I didn't understand."
"It was really awkwardly silent for a bit. Arthur told me that wasn't appropriate for me to have said at work, and it's something I ought to keep quieter. I bit back the childish urge to comment that he started it."
"Later, John, my friend from work said he thought it was funny, how I threw Arthur's assumptions in his face, but he thinks I ought to be a little more careful because Arthur is probably gonna think differently of me now."
"I don't feel ashamed to talk about it, but I do see how it was a lot to say at work... AITA for talking frankly about my abortion?"
Reddit responded in absolutely, positively no uncertain terms... "Nope, you weren't the a-hole" (NTA).
Not only did they reassure her that she wasn't a jerk, they gave her something of the internet version of a standing ovation.
"They didn't have a problem discussing abortion at work when they felt like experts. Then they get called out as wrong and suddenly it's inappropriate? Fragile egos". - 998777765543333
"When I lived in West Virginia as a 23 year old single girl, I lived in a neighborhood with a bunch of hard-core Republican men with whom I'd politely shoot the shit // smoke weed & occasionally good-humoredly pick at their beliefs and vice versa. One day I shut down a man in feverish debate with me about how women who abort are cold blooded murderers who deserve to die by sticking my Hand out to re-introduce myself as a murderer."
"The look on his face was priceless. I then went on to tell him about the woman who was in recovery next to me, and how she & her husband wanted a child desperately but she would die if she carried to term because of a spinal injury from a car crash. He told me honestly that I had changed his view with that comment and that he had 'to do some thinking'."
"The unflappably cool feeling that outcome gave me carries me confidently into uncomfortable interactions even years later. You're not the ass." - maaalicelaaamb
"This kind of topic shouldn't be discussed at the workplace, unless it's you listening to me making up shit and talking about shit I don't know."
"Good on you for demystifying the procedure a bit. Arthur apparently believes that abortions are shameful things that only happen to bad, irresponsible women, and such things should be discussed in hushed tones and never admitted to. You described it as what it is: undergoing a medical procedure that was in your best interests. Maybe this is the start of Arthur considering a different perspective." - ShelfLifeInc
"The only way we're going to destigmatize anything is by people being open and honest. When mental health comes up, I speak about my depression and anxiety and the meds I take. Part of what got us to the point we are with LGBTQ rights is that people started refusing to stay in the closet. It's harder to hate and fear something when you have a person you can connect to it."
"And, if your coworkers are uncomfortable discussing abortion, perhaps they shouldn't have brought it up. Instead, they assumed one of two things: 1) a woman like you would never get an abortion or 2) a woman who gets an abortion will be too ashamed to admit it. Either way, you made them rethink those assumptions." - Exotic-Huckleberry
"You provided the only facts into this charged conversation that Arthur was all too happy to start...at work."
"The mansplaining is insane here. From Arthur being upset you came with real experience as a uterus owner and person who received an abortion to your colleague John shaming you for speaking up—about a topic you know!"
"It's perfectly fine to talk about lady parts until a lady chimes in and corrects the falsehoods! Oh well, Arthur should tiptoe around these topics with you because he's a douche for even bringing them up in the first place and forcing everyone in the room to be part of it."
"Good for you! Continue to give em hell!" - ReadTheCommentary
"No, you're not the a$ — this dude ain't just a clown, he's the whole circus. I find it so hilarious when men try to mansplain shit but don't know anything about it. I was once called lazy because I didn't just "hold my period in". A guy once tried to tell me that it was impossible for me to have developed breast at age 9."
"Let's be real, though: this guy didn't like being shown that he was wrong. That's why he said "it's not something you should bring up at work", he didn't have any other argument since you dissolved his pride in your Knowledge and Personal Experience." - lookingforpeyton
"Not only are you NOT the a-hole, you're a freakin rock star. Please never second guess your strength and self-assurance, it's dearly needed in these discussions. Thank you. Seriously." - aluriaphin
We don't know if the original poster decided to go to her supervisors about the situation, or if she cares that poor Arthur might be upset or look at her differently... but we're going to go out on a limb and guess that she's not losing sleep over this.