The importance of the female orgasm, at least in many western societies, has been shrugged off as minimal to non-existent. It's given so little energy that plenty of people believe it's a myth.
Yes, even though it's 2022.
Yes, even some women.
We don't talk about it in schools. Lots of religious institutions actively shame or discouraged it. Pornography and media aren't exactly highlighting the female orgasm. There isn't always ejaculate to visually signal that women have reached the finish line.
As such, the female orgasm ends up being this sort of blank spot in our knowledge, which sucks cause it's not a myth, and—spoiler alert—has just as much medical significance as the male orgasm.
So let's talk about Guils from TikTok account @giulsandgemma.
She's a relatively happy, healthy, average woman… except for one little thing. At 28 years old, Guils was pretty sure she had never actually had an orgasm.
Not for lack of trying, or talent, on her part or her partners. This isn't a poor performance review. Not because of some internalized shame or trauma. Not because the batteries died.
No matter what Guils did, she just never got there. It felt good, but not GRRRREEEEAAAT! Ya know?
As she explained to Buzzfeed:
"It never seemed to match up to how people spoke about them in movies or TV shows, but I convinced myself they were just over dramatizations — same with any pornography. I checked out trying to compare. I was never faking it, it was starting off, but then just kind of cutting off just as it was supposed to be the BIG ending."
So here's where a choice had to be made.
Guils could shrug it off and assume that female orgasms aren't as big of a deal as everyone was making them seem. Or she could talk to a doctor.
Most women have chosen option A, but Guils is an option B kind of gal.
Throughout most of history here, option B kind of gals would be told something bananas like "Yeah your uterus is floating around your body and making you crazy, time for a mental hospital" or "You must have demons in your vagina for wanting to orgasm at all! To the exorcist" or "Whatever, do some cocaine about it."
But this is 2022 and Guils wasn't about to accept whack half-orgasms forever. She found a doctor willing to listen and heeey turns out there was a reason Guils wasn't having a full orgasmic experience—she was physically incapable.
The muscles of her pelvic floor were so stiff and tight that it literally could not happen. Orgasms follow a physiological pattern that involves involuntary muscle contractions and relaxations. Except in Guils that couldn't happen.
The muscles were sort of stuck in clench mode and had been for a significant period of time. That muscular tension also helped explain her incredibly painful periods—something that people brushed off as normal; even the doctors she complained to about it.
Guils was diagnosed with pelvic floor dysfunction (a condition which impacts millions, by the way) and the squad of specialists that had to be assembled is ... a lot.
First there's the pelvic floor specialist who was able to diagnose her in the first place.
Then there's a urogynecologist, a physical therapist who focuses on pelvic floor issues, another gynecologist with a specialization in painful menses, a surgeon who will need to remove years of scar tissue, and likely a rehabilitation and recovery team after that procedure.
In fact, since posting the video she has already undergone one surgery to remove scar tissue and an emergency follow-up surgery to remove pieces of her bowel that had been damaged.
Guils has had to receive trigger point injections to the pelvic floor muscles and has to use muscle relaxing vaginal suppositories.
Like we said, it's ... a lot.
Not just a lot—common.
There are lots of reasons a person may not be able to achieve a full orgasm, and we're not suggesting pelvic floor dysfunction is the reason behind all orgasmic issues.
Medications, mental state, an overhead fan—lots of stuff can kill the vibe.
But quite a few people identified with what Guils had to say about her condition.
If it sounds similar to something you're experiencing, Guils suggests a visit to your doctor and a lot of patience.
She has also posted some follow up videos for those who had more questions on her experience with pelvic floor dysfunction and her diagnosis journey.
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