Skip to content
Search AI Powered

Latest Stories

People Imagine Which Upgrades They Would Like To Make To The Human Penis

People Imagine Which Upgrades They Would Like To Make To The Human Penis
charlesdeluvio on Unsplash
Make us preferred on Google

Body modification procedures are not uncommon these days.

If it makes a person have an improved perception of their bodies, the option for body enhancement should be available to them without judgment.


The people of Reddit explored ideas for improving the human penis when Redditor BleakPidgeon asked:

"If you were able to design penis 2.0, what would you change?"

People fantasize about being able to dictate the behavior of the phallus.

Adjustable Mood

"Manual horny control. I can turn off my horniness whenever I want."

– TizACoincidence

They Say When

"I don't have a penis, but I imagine it'd be quite helpful for men to be able to *choose* when they get their boners instead of it happening randomly."

– Sso_12

Change In Direction

"I can control which way it bends."

– kinghippo79

Timed Release

"Ejaculate control. Not a drop comes out until the user wishes it to."

– ParanoidRecordPlayer

A Hard Fix

"Same for erections. They happen when you want them, and you have a dial for controlling the erection. These two features would have given us a fighting chance against our robotic overlords."

– [deleted]

Different functions to the Johnson would please these Redditors.

The Spray Option

"I would add a small spray type shifter around the circumference of the area just behind the head of the penis just like the hose nozzles to change how the fluid comes out of the penis."

"No longer shall we suffer from missing the toilet with a jetspeed straight line piss option."

"No longer shall we feel the pain of passing a kidney stone with the mist option."

"No longer shall we struggle with producing large loads for our SOs satisfaction with the large sloppy stream option."

"We will truly be the most advanced adaptation of the human."

– Truesarge

Setting The Pulse

"It will vibrate."

– TristanTruste

For Business Or Pleasure

"Make it have 2 modes:"

"Mode 1 - just sex - can still ejaculate as usual but cannot get anyone pregnant. Can control when the orgasm happens so you can have longer sex or quickies depending on the situation."

"Mode 2 - baby making mode."

– No-Reality3469

With Great Pleasure

"Multiple orgasms without having to cum but they all lead up to a spectacular one in which you do cum."

– Porkrinder_58

Safety Signal

"It will go flaccid and retract into the pelvis if there are STDs within 5 feet."

– EerieArizona

"Family gatherings are going to be awkward."

– VlaamsBelanger

Some of the requests were innocuous.

Schlong Conversations

"It can talk. I get lonely sometimes."

– oonopson

No More Competition

"I would make them all the same size. It would probably create world peace and harmony 😂"

– schnesnchowIgo

If an option for an improved pecker was available, what changes would you suggest for an ultimate penile experience?


More from Trending/best-of-reddit

Patrick Stewart
Kevin Winter/Getty Images

Tributes Pour In For 'Star Trek' And 'X-Men' Icon Patrick Stewart After His Death At 86

On Thursday, people received the news of the passing of lauded stage, TV, and screen actor Sir Patrick Stewart. Already an accomplished actor in his beloved Britain, in 1987 Sir Patrick gained international fame as he joined Starfleet and the Star Trek universe for the first new television series since 1969.

For the next seven seasons, Captain Jean-Luc Picard would command the USS Enterprise (NCC-1701-D) on Star Trek: The Next Generation on the small screen, then follow as it made the leap to the silver screen where Stewart would play the role for four feature films. He would don the uniform again for his own series, Picard, for three seasons.

Keep ReadingShow less
Jesse Ventura; Donald Trump
KSTP-TV; Andrew Harnik/Getty Images

Jesse Ventura Brutally Rips 'Coward' Trump For Avoiding Military Service After Trump Touts Himself As Great Military Leader

Minneapolis-born ex-pro-wrestler and former Reform Party Governor of Minnesota Jesse Ventura minced no words when he shared how he feels about MAGA Republican President Donald Trump.

Once rumored to be a potential running mate for the former reality star President, Ventura has been a very vocal critic of Trump for some time.

Keep ReadingShow less

Robert Irwin Hilariously Mortified After Prince William Makes 'Python' Joke About His Racy Photoshoot

Prince William has a sense of humor. I know. I'm processing this information, too.

The future king made an unexpected detour into comedy during The Graham Norton Show, where Robert Irwin's infamous underwear photoshoot became the evening's main attraction. Unfortunately for Irwin, William had questions. Well, more like observations.

Keep ReadingShow less
TikToker @kori_latham; Luke Skywalker from 'Star Wars'
@kori_latham/TikTok; Disney/LucasFilm

TikTok Mom's Church Outfit Gets Hilariously Roasted By Her 10-Year-Old With Brutal 'Star Wars' Comparison

There's nothing like finding an outfit that you love and feel really confident in, only to realize that you bear an uncanny resemblance to a popular film's costume stylings.

And that's exactly what happened to TikToker @kori_latham, who was getting dressed for church.

Keep ReadingShow less
Newborn baby with full mustache
@MarioNawfal/X

Viral Video Of Newborn Baby Allegedly Born With Full Mustache Sparks Flurry Of Hilarious Jokes

Some people are born to make an entrance—but one baby took that so seriously that he immediately became an internet meme when he was born, thanks to rocking a full mustache.

Parents are typically "warned" about little "abnormalities" they might notice when their babies are born, like birthmarks, a lot of hair on their head, no hair on their head, different eye colors, and maybe even a little facial hair.

Keep ReadingShow less