Skip to content
Search AI Powered

Latest Stories

People Imagine Which Upgrades They Would Like To Make To The Human Penis

People Imagine Which Upgrades They Would Like To Make To The Human Penis
charlesdeluvio on Unsplash
Make us preferred on Google

Body modification procedures are not uncommon these days.

If it makes a person have an improved perception of their bodies, the option for body enhancement should be available to them without judgment.


The people of Reddit explored ideas for improving the human penis when Redditor BleakPidgeon asked:

"If you were able to design penis 2.0, what would you change?"

People fantasize about being able to dictate the behavior of the phallus.

Adjustable Mood

"Manual horny control. I can turn off my horniness whenever I want."

– TizACoincidence

They Say When

"I don't have a penis, but I imagine it'd be quite helpful for men to be able to *choose* when they get their boners instead of it happening randomly."

– Sso_12

Change In Direction

"I can control which way it bends."

– kinghippo79

Timed Release

"Ejaculate control. Not a drop comes out until the user wishes it to."

– ParanoidRecordPlayer

A Hard Fix

"Same for erections. They happen when you want them, and you have a dial for controlling the erection. These two features would have given us a fighting chance against our robotic overlords."

– [deleted]

Different functions to the Johnson would please these Redditors.

The Spray Option

"I would add a small spray type shifter around the circumference of the area just behind the head of the penis just like the hose nozzles to change how the fluid comes out of the penis."

"No longer shall we suffer from missing the toilet with a jetspeed straight line piss option."

"No longer shall we feel the pain of passing a kidney stone with the mist option."

"No longer shall we struggle with producing large loads for our SOs satisfaction with the large sloppy stream option."

"We will truly be the most advanced adaptation of the human."

– Truesarge

Setting The Pulse

"It will vibrate."

– TristanTruste

For Business Or Pleasure

"Make it have 2 modes:"

"Mode 1 - just sex - can still ejaculate as usual but cannot get anyone pregnant. Can control when the orgasm happens so you can have longer sex or quickies depending on the situation."

"Mode 2 - baby making mode."

– No-Reality3469

With Great Pleasure

"Multiple orgasms without having to cum but they all lead up to a spectacular one in which you do cum."

– Porkrinder_58

Safety Signal

"It will go flaccid and retract into the pelvis if there are STDs within 5 feet."

– EerieArizona

"Family gatherings are going to be awkward."

– VlaamsBelanger

Some of the requests were innocuous.

Schlong Conversations

"It can talk. I get lonely sometimes."

– oonopson

No More Competition

"I would make them all the same size. It would probably create world peace and harmony 😂"

– schnesnchowIgo

If an option for an improved pecker was available, what changes would you suggest for an ultimate penile experience?


More from Trending/best-of-reddit

Skyler Gisondo
Tiziana FABI / AFP via Getty Images

A Photo Of 'Superman' Star Skyler Gisondo From 2015 Is Sparking Hilarious Memes—And Even Skyler Is Cracking Up

Actor Skyler Gisondo is rapidly rising to the top of the Hollywood A-list—he's kinda everywhere at the moment.

After already establishing himself in films like Superman and the critically acclaimed 2026 psychological thriller Primetime, Gisondo is now stepping into the spotlight for one of the fall's biggest movies.

Keep ReadingShow less
Susan Collins; Troy Jackson
CBS 13/FOX 23

Susan Collins Gets Boast About Cheaper Road Salt Turned Right Back On Her By Dem Opponent In Epic Debate Moment

Back in September after Maine incumbent GOP Senator Susan Collins bragged about which Canadian tariffs she had gotten MAGA Republican President Donald Trump to roll back, C-SPAN asked her midterm opponent, state Democratic Senator Troy Jackson, to respond.

In his response, Jackson outlined how Trump's trade war with Canada was impacting Maine, including its effects on tourism, sales of woodland industry byproducts, and Canadian shoppers buying from border town stores in Maine.

Keep ReadingShow less
JD Vance carrying his child
Fox News

MAGA Influencer Dragged After Heaping Fawning Praise On JD Vance For Simply Carrying His Baby

MAGA pro-birth activist Anna Lulis drew mockery online after she heaped praise on Republican Vice President JD Vance for the amazing feat of carrying his own child.

Lulis, who preaches...

Keep ReadingShow less
President Donald Trump (left) and Office of Management and Budget Director Russell Vought (right).
LiveNow from Fox; Al Drago/Getty Images

President Donald Trump teased mysterious “big surprises” involving Project 2025 architect Russ Vought ahead of the midterms, raising concerns about potential election interference.

With just a few weeks remaining until the November 3 midterm elections, President Donald Trump appears to have a few tricks up his sleeve.

And the commander-in-chief isn't content to keep them there. With control of Congress on the line, he's teasing some “big surprises”—and his chosen accomplice has already helped reshape Washington for the worse.

Keep ReadingShow less