People Imagine Which Upgrades They Would Like To Make To The Human Penis

People fantasize about being able to dictate the behavior of the phallus.

Adjustable Mood

"Manual horny control. I can turn off my horniness whenever I want."

– TizACoincidence

They Say When

"I don't have a penis, but I imagine it'd be quite helpful for men to be able to *choose* when they get their boners instead of it happening randomly."

– Sso_12

Change In Direction

"I can control which way it bends."

– kinghippo79

Timed Release

"Ejaculate control. Not a drop comes out until the user wishes it to."

– ParanoidRecordPlayer

A Hard Fix

"Same for erections. They happen when you want them, and you have a dial for controlling the erection. These two features would have given us a fighting chance against our robotic overlords."

– [deleted]

Different functions to the Johnson would please these Redditors.

The Spray Option

"I would add a small spray type shifter around the circumference of the area just behind the head of the penis just like the hose nozzles to change how the fluid comes out of the penis."

"No longer shall we suffer from missing the toilet with a jetspeed straight line piss option."

"No longer shall we feel the pain of passing a kidney stone with the mist option."

"No longer shall we struggle with producing large loads for our SOs satisfaction with the large sloppy stream option."

"We will truly be the most advanced adaptation of the human."

– Truesarge

Setting The Pulse

"It will vibrate."

– TristanTruste

For Business Or Pleasure

"Make it have 2 modes:"

"Mode 1 - just sex - can still ejaculate as usual but cannot get anyone pregnant. Can control when the orgasm happens so you can have longer sex or quickies depending on the situation."

"Mode 2 - baby making mode."

– No-Reality3469

With Great Pleasure

"Multiple orgasms without having to cum but they all lead up to a spectacular one in which you do cum."

– Porkrinder_58

Safety Signal

"It will go flaccid and retract into the pelvis if there are STDs within 5 feet."

– EerieArizona

"Family gatherings are going to be awkward."

– VlaamsBelanger

Some of the requests were innocuous.

Schlong Conversations

"It can talk. I get lonely sometimes."

– oonopson

No More Competition

"I would make them all the same size. It would probably create world peace and harmony 😂"

– schnesnchowIgo

If an option for an improved pecker was available, what changes would you suggest for an ultimate penile experience?