A video in which a father disciplined his daughter without physically or verbally mistreating her was still called out for being a form of "emotional abuse."
Jon Fogel, who runs a parenting blog on TikTok as @wholeparent, stitched together a clip of a father who punished his young daughter by making her smash her phone with a hammer.
Fogel noted that while the father in the video isn't physically or verbally hurting his daughter to teach her a lesson for disrespecting her mom, it was an example of emotional abuse.
"We have to think about the far-reaching implications of our punishment," wrote Fogel in the clip's caption, adding:
"When we psychologically punish like this we don’t just hurt them in the moment we give them a lifelong wound."
The original clip, which seems to have been deleted, included a text overaly that read, "Daddy is tired of mama being disrespected."
While its authenticity can't be verified, the video sparked a discussion around child-rearing.
@wholeparent/TikTok
@wholeparent/TikTok
@wholeparent/TikTok
“So I talk a lot about physical abuse on this channel and the effects it has on kids and why its ineffective as a discipline strategy and the long term side effects," explained Fogel in the video.
"But every once in a while I will come across a video like this which is a clear sign of emotional abuse."
"And the interesting thing is if you read books like 'Childhood Disrupted' you’ll learn that physical abuse and emotional abuse have almost the same effect on the brain.”
"Just because this dad is not physically hitting his daughter doesn’t mean that she is not emotionally distressed does not mean that her amygdala is not engaged does not mean that she also does not feel helpless," said Fogel.
"I mean she is being forced to do something that she would never on her own do.”
@wholeparent/TikTok
@wholeparent/TikTok
@wholeparent/TikTok
@wholeparent/TikTok
The TikToker challenged viewers with some questions.
“And we have to think seriously about what kind of message that sends. Developmental damage aside, what’s the intended goal?"
"Do we want little girls to grow up thinking that men can make them do things they don’t wanna do?"
@wholeparent/TikTok
@wholeparent/TikTok
In conclusion, he said that "hitting your kid" was not the only way to abuse them, adding, "We need to be better."
According to the Clermont County Children's Protective Services website, Emotional Neglect is defined as:
"Failure to provide the support or affection necessary to a child’s psychological and social development."
"Failure on the part of the parent to provide the praise, nurturance, love, or security essential to the child’s development of a sound and healthy personality may constitute emotional neglect.”
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