Birthday parties are generally held for the benefit of the person who is turning a year older but usually everyone invited enjoys them.
One Reddit user's family took things too far when planning her 18th birthday though.
She decided to ditch rather than suffer through the huge party her parents planned.
Reddit user birffffday recently turned 18 and told her parents she wanted a nice, low-key night at home with 5 of her friends to celebrate. The six were all going to be going to different colleges in the fall, so this was a great opportunity to spend some quality time together before having to split up.
At first it seemed like her parents were excited to help her celebrate the way she wanted, but it quickly became clear that what she wanted wasn't in the cards.
"Then my parents got carried away with planning a party, they wanted to invite three families that we're 'family friends' with... AKA the parents are friends and the kids are put together out of convenience, despite none of us getting along or having much of anything in common, plus the older ones like me always end up stuck babysitting."
Birffffday wasn't ready to give up yet, though.
"I said no, I just want a low key party with my five friends, I don't want a bunch of my parents friends and their kids there. I want the party to be just a girls night, no children or guys because it changes the chill mood. I don't want a big production, just a chill night."
There's nothing like completely ignoring the birthday girl's wishes on her birthday to cause some family strife.
"But my parents were adamant that the 'family friends' were invited, even though I'm in the family, and none of them are my friends. Coming up to the day of the party, I could not convince them otherwise."
It was clear that birffffday's parents just weren't going to listen.
So her friends took it upon themselves to make sure she actually had a great birthday.
"So my friends hatched a plan, they'd come to my house early in one of their cars and 'kidnap' me from the party before it started."
"We did that, and right after leaving the house I told my parents by a voicemail that I wanted to just have a chill night with the girls and they could have their party but don't pretend it's for me. And don't worry, we were just going out to eat, no drinking, nothing crazy. And I'd be home by midnight. Then my friends and I turned phones off for the night."
Birffffday got exactly the experience she wanted with her friends: some chill hangout time to make memories before they all go off to college.
"It was really wonderful, just what I wanted. It was the best birthday party ever, I was so grateful that my friends put the whole thing together for me."
The excrement hit the proverbial fan as soon as she got home, though.
"But my parents were furious when I got home, I had embarrassed them to the community, I had left without saying where I was or picking up my phone and that scared them, they'd called my friends families and nobody could get in touch with us, the party was a disaster because it was so humiliating to throw a birthday party without the birthday girl, etc."
Birffffday wasn't just going to take the blame lying down though.
She told her parents exactly what she thought about their party—and their reason for throwing it.
"I said that I'd told them so many times that I didn't want that party, they should have been warned that it wasn't a good idea from that. And that they ought to find some friends who aren't so judgy, because this whole "keeping up with the Joneses" game was getting old. And they wouldn't have to do it if they could just find some real friends. Like good friends who don't play these show-offy games."
This conversation went about as well as you might expect.
"My mom got mad at me for insulting their frienships, on top of everything else. And I've been suspended from my sports and activities indefinitely as a punishment."
Finally, she posed a heartfelt question to the AmITheA**hole subReddit:
"AITA for ditching my own party, because it turned into my parents party?"
The nearly unanimous concensus was that birffffday was, in fact, not the a-hole (NTA).
"NTA. They have no one to blame but themselves for how it turned out."
"I would also look into asking authorities at your school (beyond your coach, who may not know) if 18-year-olds can grant their own permissions. You are legally an adult. There is no legal reason for a school to stop you from participating at that point. I mean, what do they do in the case of emancipated minors?? If the sports and activities mean a lot to you, make a huge stink about it." -TinselfFlagellum
"'the party was a disaster because it was so humiliating to throw a birthday party without the birthday girl'"
"But it wasn't a party for the birthday girl? You made it clear what you wanted and they did their own thing. NTA." -INB4_Found_The_Vegan
"NTA. But your parents are HUGE selfish a**holes." -JinxRK933
"My parents did something similar for my college graduation and I'm still pissed 10 years later tbh. NTA" -WollyMammothLake
"This are the type of parents that wonder why their grown kids dont talk to them very much anymore. NTA" -JudgeJuby
Many made the point that if her parents just wanted to show off for their friends, they could have just had a dinner party instead of co-opting her birthday.
"NTA. If they wanted a party to invite their friends to, it shouldn't have been your 18th birthday if you didn't want that." -Sandsaltandsh*t
"I know, they could plan a party any other day of the year to have their friends over, but they f**king chose their kid's 18th birthday? F***ing a**holes." - kalechayle
"NTA, your parents made your birthday all about them." -SpartEng76
For a day that was supposed to be all about her, birffffday's birthday went spectacularly wrong with her family. But at least she had fun with her friends.