Whether or not you were broken up with or you were the one who ended things, it could take a long time to recover from a broken heart.
Time eventually heals all wounds, and we're able to move on with our lives and hopefully find a new love connection.
But then the unexpected happens, and you hear from the very person you took forever to get over, and you hear a phrase that screws with your psyche.
It can seriously mess with your mind.
Strangers online had a discussion over a hypothetical when Redditor Infinity-X78 asked:
"Your ex calls you and says they miss you, How would you react?"
The window of redemption has expired.
We Are Gathered Here Today
"Amazed, flabbergasted! She's D E A D"
– spook7886
"Don’t trust her."
– NYVines
"means she tried find better but couldnt and now is desperate"
"not worthy of your trust."
– codeboss911
Class Reunion
"My last 'ex' was from 1989 so I would be shocked and confused if the girl I went to prom with a lifetime ago called me."
– TraditionalLock7846
"Ha my Mom had to call her first husband about 20-25 years after they separated because my dad's health insurance found out that she never got divorced from him when she needed her breast implants removed for medical reasons. She thought he filed he thought she filed. He had been married for a while and so had my parents. Only found out about all of this when I woke up one day to a note that said 'went to Arkansas to marry your Dad. Be back soon.' And this was before cell phones were common, so I had to wait like 8 hours to get answers."
– FluffyOwl30
Time for some mischief.
Wrong Number
"After they talked for a while, just act slightly confused and say 'sorry, number isn’t saved. Who’s this?'”
–No_Possession_9314
"I keep every number so I don't have to have the 'New phone, who this?' conversation. If it's someone I don't want to talk to, especially if it's someone I don't want knowing if it's still my current number, I just don't answer."
– F'kHopeSignedMe
Ignore It
"I would miss the call. I don't answer calls from strangers."
– effingusername123
"Reminds me of a quote:"
"'Not friends, not enemies. Just strangers with some memories.' - anonymous"
– OP
The Song Says It All
"'Now you're just somebody that I used to know.' - Australian guy that was popular for 6 seconds, and has been sitting on a pile of residuals for a decade."
– shanster925
"I too am a fan of Got'em"
– zoidy37
"Hearts a mess by gotye slaps."
– Background_Artist_85
Some people were strongly against giving second chances.
Some Advice
"As someone who took the bait, don't."
– CpuJunky
"True. Never go back to what broke you, especially after you've healed."
"Going back to an ex is like opening the fridge and taking a sip of sour, spoiled milk and putting it back in the fridge in hopes that the next day it would be fresh."
– Infinity-X78
Avoiding The Same Drama
"A therapist once told me 'Don’t go back to a poison well just because it’s the only water you’ve known.'"
"Honestly changed my life."
– BrotherOfTheOrder
Changing For The Worse
"Oof, same. She said she learned from her mistakes and changed, but she was more hurtful and selfish the second time around lol"
– Mycatstolemyidentity
"If you ever have a moment of weakness, always remind yourself about why you broke up in the first place."
– Creative_Recover
Some people had an easy time getting things off their chest.
I Hear You, But...
"I miss you, too. You were, and are, the love of my life. And I know you loved me. But you were so very bad at it. Goodbye."
– thedreadedaw
"Damn. Having reluctantly broken up with my ex because he very, very clearly lost every last shred of interest in me, this one hit me hard."
– sassyphrass
"This is really beautiful. The realness of this response"
– gbourg12
Call From The Ex-Wife
"My wife left me and after a year and a half called back. Asked if I ever think about her. I said of course, but...we are not a good fit. Plus, I am a changed man and I'm no longer the same guy you knew before."
– series_hybrid
"Mine did the same but we got back together lol."
– gt4674b
Maintaining solid relationships take work.
But depending on how bad they are, it shouldn't cause constant stress and anxiety.
Breakups, in this case, are necessary, and it's not about giving up.
It's about moving on and saving your sanity.
So when an ex calls from out of the blue, it may come from a place of being lonely or pining for the good memories of a lost relationship.
Go with your gut, and be aware that with a few exceptions, people don't really change.
Dating an ex actually has a term: backsliding.
But, if you end up rekindling a relationship that previously ended badly and it is a huge improvement, then you won the love lottery.