For the parent of a young adolescent, weight concerns are no joke.
The issue can lead to body image struggles, an even more serious subject.
Intense parenting topics like that can make folks a bit territorial.
So for someone who's not that parent, sliding in with your own contributions to the problem is a very bold move. For one aunt, the unsolicited solution was bold enough to earn her a social media blasting from the mother.
That angry mom explained everything on the "Am I the A**hole (AITA)" subReddit. But apparently, she—creatively dubbed "username0744" on the site—had enough second thoughts about her online tirade to seek some of the honest moral judgment only AITA can give.
The whole ordeal began long ago.
In fact, it began generations ago when, according to her, the family genes began to trend in a certain direction.
"Just for some background, my family is a bit larger. We are all pretty healthy people, but we are not naturally thin. Both of my parents are bigger, I'm a bit bigger, and growing up my sister was too."
"Now my sister works hard to fight being a bigger. She eats like a rabbit, and does pretty crazy workouts."
"People tend to look up to her for keeping her weight down and 'getting healthy' but from my perspective she is constantly stressing herself out to maintain this appearance with all of the running etc."
That backdrop in mind, mom faced a challenge when her daughter began to feel some discomfort over her body.
"My daughter turned 14 a couple of months ago, and has been expressing distaste about her body for a while. She's a bit chubby like myself. It makes me sad, but I'm trying to teach her to love herself for who she is.
"I know that my words haven't gotten through to her, as she has been going to my sister for advice."
"First was the at-home exercises and running. It is difficult to watch her beat herself up with these exercises. She claims to enjoy them, but I'm sure she wouldn't do them if she didn't want to be skinny like my sister.
"Then she started regularly complaining about the food that I prepare. I'm not a huge vegetable person, and neither is anybody else in our family. I'm not going to waste money on it. It has led to many arguments between us."
With her daughter's behavior obviously ramping up, what happened next was the last thing mom wanted.
A mysterious gift arrived, which managed to both undermine mom and fan the flames of the eating concerns.
"The final straw was when I opened up a package that turned out to be a food scale for my daughter. My sister bought it for her."
"My daughter told me that since I will continue to make her eat unhealthy food, her aunt told her to weigh it out so she doesn't eat too much."
It didn't take long before the sisters had it out.
"I immediately confronted my sister about it. She is trying to push her lifestyle habits onto my daughter. I'm trying to teach her to love herself not spend mental energy fighting biology."
"She tried to blame me for making my daughter 'unhealthy' in the first place, she claims to be trying to help."
"Just because my daughter can't run a mile and do the difficult exercises she does to maintain her weight, doesn't mean she's not healthy."
The direct confrontation behind her, mom then appealed for support on the internet, but to no avail.
"I hung up with my sister and went to post to Facebook about her buying my young daughter a scale and encouraging her to weigh her food. People look up to her, and I think everyone should know that she pushes young women to hate their bodies."
"My post received a lot of criticism and some people even think I'm an a**hole for trying to tarnish my sisters image and for refusing to let my daughter try to lose weight."
"From my perspective I'm just trying to spread awareness about what she is doing."
"Someone recommended that I post here, AITA for telling everyone that my sister got my daughter a food scale, or is she for getting her one in the first place?"
Things weren't much different when she jumped over to Reddit either.
Many comments invoked the acronym of harsh truth: "YTA" or "You're the A**hole."
"You don't get to weigh in. Your daughter is trying to improve her heart health, her mobility, and her quality of life. She is certainly being more mature about her weight issues than you are."
"I remember 150 lbs. ago when I was "not a vegetable person". It's a flabby excuse for rolling over and giving up on yourself. You should be happy your daughter isn't following in your footsteps." -- baween
"A kid that can't run one mile? That's sad (barring medical conditions, of course). YTA for making a string of excuses about your bad health, to the point you are actively trying to keep your daughter from getting healthy."
"Say it with me, 'eating vegetables and being able to run one mile' are perfectly normal things that every single human being should be able to do (again, barring medical conditions)." -- FinalFeeling
"YTA for trying to impose your insane idea that exercise is self-abuse onto your kid. Getting healthy means a longer, happier life and you seem to have missed the memo that that's what parents should want for their kids!" -- lyzgoestolawschool
Several comments called her out for subtly putting her own needs before her daughter's.
"YTA. Your daughter has told you she's unhappy with her weight. Why would you refuse her losing weight in a healthy way if it's going to improve her self confidence?"
"Seems you're bitter that your sister has worked hard and achieved her weight loss goals."
"Also, sometimes weight gain etc. is genetic in origin, but sometimes it's people eating too much in comparison to how much they exercise." -- court_in_the_middle
"YTA nothing from what you've said implies that your sister tried to force her lifestyle on your daughter. You said your daughter has expressed wanting to lose weight for a while now, which seems you were completely against because you're not a 'vegetables person' and no one in your family is."
"So YOU left her no choice but to talk to someone who she can relate to more. If you can't be that person for your daughter, why are you still not letting your sister be that person for her?"
"Instead you're trying to discourage her from doing any exercise because even though she tells you she enjoys it you 'know' she's not?"
"Your daughter just needs support, if she wants to lose weight, let her, and from what it seems she wants to do it the healthy way. And telling your daughter to quit trying to "fight biology" is just about the laziest excuse I've ever heard." -- OminousSodaCan
And it was quite clear that the mom's anti-vegetable stance was at the heart of plenty of backlash.
"YTA Jesus Christ PREPARE A VEGETABLE. You are a mother, act like a mother, don't use your daughter's body to push agenda that makes YOU feel better. "
"Also I don't buy it for a second that you guys are 'naturally chunky' when you 'refuse to waste money on vegetables'." -- UglyDuffelBag
"YTA. And honestly, it sounds like you might be harboring some deep seeded jealousy of your sister. Maybe you need to take a look at your intentions of why you so insistently want your daughter to remain unhealthy."
"If you want to live an unhealthy life style that's fine, but you're pushing it on your daughter (and blaming it on biology ) is bullsh*t. At least let her have some vegetables, that's borderline child abuse." -- thoughtfulmind29
"YTA - it's a food scale. Your daughter asked for one and your sister bought it. Leave your own insecurities out of it." -- hobo_clown
"YTA for refusing to buy vegetables."
"You may not like them but your daughter wants to try them, you are the one forcing your lifestyle on her - not your sister." -- ISosul
For the Reddit community, even lessons about healthy lifestyle and nutrition are on the table. As expected, the imparted wisdom comes with some no holds barred delivery.
*If you enjoyed this article, you can read more like it by clicking on the AITA link below.*
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