Skip to content
Search AI Powered

Latest Stories

This Guy Has Fought--And Lost--A Battle Against Birds For Four Long Years

This Guy Has Fought--And Lost--A Battle Against Birds For Four Long Years
(atomcrabbit2/Imgur)

When it comes to perpetually battling for your territory for four years, this fight is for the birds.

Imgur user "atomicrabbit2" waged a war with birds who have found a cozy and warm spot atop the exhaust for his home's gas heater. But, for safety reasons, the homeowner was not going to allow his new visitors to take up permanent residence.


He began chronicling the battle that began in August, 2014, on Imgur, in a post titled: "My 4yr (ongoing?) battle with birds!"

The first time I noticed the little guys, they caught me off guard, but thought nothing of it.

They were just trying to keep warm, I figured.

They startled easily and flew away whenever I would walk in/out of my back door, which scared the shit outta me.

By March 2015, he had built a makeshift shield for the exhaust out of chicken wire.


First meeting.(atomcirabbit2/Imgur)

He thought the battle was won.

He had no idea it would be far from over.


Tactic 1(atomcirabbit2/Imgur)

May 2015: Apparently it wasn't.
They found a nice little crevice on top of the exhaust to build a neat, little nest. Ok fine.
No babies, so nest is gone. Easy enough.


The nest.(atomcirabbit2/Imgur)

After the nest was disposed of, he thought it was officially, finally over.

Wrong.


A year later, the bird returned.(atomcirabbit2/Imgur)

So he upped his game.


Ok this is getting fucking annoying.
So I added bird spikes on top (Iteration 2) which I figured would keep them out for good.
NOPE. Those little fucks came back with a vengeance. It not only didn't keep them away, but the spikes seemed to stabilize their nest. This time they brought coloured twine!
I cleaned out the nest, next day they came back with more blue twine. Cleaned it out, and THEY CAME BACK AGAIN WITH MORE GODDAMNED TWINE..
They must have had a fuckin' stock pile somewhere.


No matter how many times the nest cleared, the birds kept bringing back more twine.(atomcirabbit2/Imgur)

Desperate times called for desperate measures.

June 2016: HA! You want to fuck with me? Fine... MORE BIRD SPIKES, BITCHES! (Iteration 3)
No way they'll build anything no---


Will this bird-blocker work?(atomcirabbit2/Imgur)

The bird is winning.


Nice try, human.(atomcirabbit2/Imgur)

This time, he wrapped the ENTIRE exhaust in chicken wire, which he thought would be a surefire way to solve the problem.


Looks like a lot of work.(atomcirabbit2/Imgur)

Cut to May 2018, where things weren't going so well.

May 2018: what the absolute fuck??!
HOWWWW???!!
So apparently, I left a small opening on the right side.
Those birds were flying up into their now high-end GATED FUCKING COMMUNITY!


Birds are winning.(atomcirabbit2/Imgur)

The latest tactic seemed to work, thanks to his unleashing of this menacing entity, Dr. Who. Or is it Hoot?

May 2018: (iteration 5) Meet Dr. Who. He scared the hell out of those birds and they haven't been back since.


Now who's boss?(atomcirabbit2/Imgur)

It looks like the birds finally gave up. For now.

July 2018: (Iteration 6) annndd closing the gap on the right side just for good measure. They gave me a run for my money and it's not pretty, but after 4 years, lots of bird shit and 6 iterations, I think this will be the final one.
If I see them back next year, I may just give in and try to charge them rent.


It's exhausting.(atomcirabbit2/Imgur)

Victory!

Giphy

Don't underestimate the cunning, or determination, of birds.

This guy's long battle proves the little creatures can be relentless.

Giphy

H/T - Boredpanda, Imgur, Reddit

More from Trending

The Rainbow Bridge in Crissie Caughlin Park, Reno
cityofreno/Instagram

Rainbow Bridge Honoring Kids' Beloved Late Pets Gets Cruelly Vandalized—And Everyone Has The Same Thought

"The rainbow bridge" is a euphemism for where deceased pets go after they pass, and people have called it that for decades now.

But when you're an anti-LGBTQ+ bigot, everything looks like a threat to your bizarre obsession with gender roles and people's personal lives. And sadly, it seems "the rainbow bridge" is no exception.

Keep ReadingShow less
Joe Lonsdale
Brian Ach/Getty Images for TechCrunch

Tech Billionaire Sparks Outrage After Calling For Return Of Public Hangings To Show 'Masculine Leadership'

Tech billionaire Joe Lonsdale—the co-founder of the software company Palantir—sparked outrage and faced swift pushback after he called for a return of public hangings for violent criminals to demonstrate "masculine leadership" in America.

Lonsdale made the remarks in response to online criticism of Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth, who is facing heavy criticism for his cavalier attitude toward the Department of Defense's attacks on alleged drug-smuggling vessels in the Caribbean

Keep ReadingShow less
Gavin Newsom; Donald Trump
Justin Sullivan/Getty Images; Paul Morigi/Getty Images

Gavin Newsom Hilariously Dunks On Trump For Hosting The Kennedy Center Honors

California Governor Gavin Newsom trolled President Donald Trump by sharing an AI-generated photo of himself accepting the inaugural—and not real—"Kennedy Center peace prize" from Trump.

The photo accompanied a post in which Newsom mocked not just Trump but also Ric Grenell, the Kennedy Center's president, whom Newsom referred to as a "janitor" in a post that—like many of Newsom's past posts—is written in a style not unlike the rants Trump publishes on Truth Social.

Keep ReadingShow less
Donald Trump; Screenshot of Marjorie Taylor Greene
Samuel Corum/Getty Images; 60 Minutes

Trump Completely Melts Down Over 'Low IQ Traitor' MTG's Sit-Down Interview With '60 Minutes'

President Donald Trump attacked Georgia Republican Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene after his former ally-turned-nemesis criticized him in an interview with Lesley Stahl on Sunday's episode of 60 Minutes.

Greene told CBS that his inflammatory language “directly fueled” threats against her family, including an email asserting that a pipe bomb had been planted targeting her son.

Keep ReadingShow less
Surprised man
Photo by Nachristos on Unsplash

Things That Feel Totally Fake But Are Actually 100% Real

Science is fascinating, but sometimes it's so fascinating, it switches straight from scientific finds to science fiction.

But there are some truths in the universe that feel impossible to believe but which are totally true.

Keep ReadingShow less