Most Read


This Guy Has Fought--And Lost--A Battle Against Birds For Four Long Years

This Guy Has Fought--And Lost--A Battle Against Birds For Four Long Years

When it comes to perpetually battling for your territory for four years, this fight is for the birds.

Imgur user "atomicrabbit2" waged a war with birds who have found a cozy and warm spot atop the exhaust for his home's gas heater. But, for safety reasons, the homeowner was not going to allow his new visitors to take up permanent residence.

He began chronicling the battle that began in August, 2014, on Imgur, in a post titled: "My 4yr (ongoing?) battle with birds!"

The first time I noticed the little guys, they caught me off guard, but thought nothing of it.

They were just trying to keep warm, I figured.

They startled easily and flew away whenever I would walk in/out of my back door, which scared the shit outta me.

By March 2015, he had built a makeshift shield for the exhaust out of chicken wire.

First meeting.(atomcirabbit2/Imgur)

He thought the battle was won.

He had no idea it would be far from over.

Tactic 1(atomcirabbit2/Imgur)

May 2015: Apparently it wasn't.
They found a nice little crevice on top of the exhaust to build a neat, little nest. Ok fine.
No babies, so nest is gone. Easy enough.

The nest.(atomcirabbit2/Imgur)

After the nest was disposed of, he thought it was officially, finally over.


A year later, the bird returned.(atomcirabbit2/Imgur)

So he upped his game.

Ok this is getting fucking annoying.
So I added bird spikes on top (Iteration 2) which I figured would keep them out for good.
NOPE. Those little fucks came back with a vengeance. It not only didn't keep them away, but the spikes seemed to stabilize their nest. This time they brought coloured twine!
I cleaned out the nest, next day they came back with more blue twine. Cleaned it out, and THEY CAME BACK AGAIN WITH MORE GODDAMNED TWINE..
They must have had a fuckin' stock pile somewhere.

No matter how many times the nest cleared, the birds kept bringing back more twine.(atomcirabbit2/Imgur)

Desperate times called for desperate measures.

June 2016: HA! You want to fuck with me? Fine... MORE BIRD SPIKES, BITCHES! (Iteration 3)
No way they'll build anything no---

Will this bird-blocker work?(atomcirabbit2/Imgur)

The bird is winning.

Nice try, human.(atomcirabbit2/Imgur)

This time, he wrapped the ENTIRE exhaust in chicken wire, which he thought would be a surefire way to solve the problem.

Looks like a lot of work.(atomcirabbit2/Imgur)

Cut to May 2018, where things weren't going so well.

May 2018: what the absolute fuck??!
So apparently, I left a small opening on the right side.
Those birds were flying up into their now high-end GATED FUCKING COMMUNITY!

Birds are winning.(atomcirabbit2/Imgur)

The latest tactic seemed to work, thanks to his unleashing of this menacing entity, Dr. Who. Or is it Hoot?

May 2018: (iteration 5) Meet Dr. Who. He scared the hell out of those birds and they haven't been back since.

Now who's boss?(atomcirabbit2/Imgur)

It looks like the birds finally gave up. For now.

July 2018: (Iteration 6) annndd closing the gap on the right side just for good measure. They gave me a run for my money and it's not pretty, but after 4 years, lots of bird shit and 6 iterations, I think this will be the final one.
If I see them back next year, I may just give in and try to charge them rent.

It's exhausting.(atomcirabbit2/Imgur)



Don't underestimate the cunning, or determination, of birds.

This guy's long battle proves the little creatures can be relentless.


H/T - Boredpanda, Imgur, Reddit