When are we ever going to learn? Don't keep naughty photos! Stop taking them! Or take them on a polaroid, polaroids are unhackable. We can't just leave these images on our devices (devices that are all connected by the way) all willy nilly.
And never mind the hacking, half the time we're our own worst enemies. We constantly end up flashing the wrong photos, videos, and images at the most inappropriate times. Besides being outrageously embarrassing, some of those wrong moments could be illegal.
Just when we think we're about to show the latest family Christmas photo at an innocent baby shower/BAM... a video from the one-nighter with your best friend's husband pops up. That's a Pandora's Box you can't close.
Redditor u/PeterChai wanted to hear about the most scandalous images and messages we've let slip on our devices, by asking:
What's the most NSFW thing you've accidentally shown someone while using your phone or computer?
I am obsessed with the security of my devices. I take my phone and sometimes my computer into the bathroom, just in case. And they are fingerprint protected. Mainly because you never know who could break in but also, I know I have content that is not for my mama to stumble across.
Damn Explorer
scared parents GIFGiphy"Doing a group project at university, in front of the whole group I went to open a file in Explorer and it opened straight to my porn folder. Which was set to thumbnail mode."
"the secret"
"I was showing a new hire at work how to log into the app we used to track attendance/schedules and after your login it showed you a QR code you could use to punch in. I then told him "the secret" which was to screenshot the QR code and that way you didn't have to log in every time to punch, just scan your QR code. I then opened my gallery and showed him... a lot more of me than anyone at work should see. Remember what apps you've left open!"
Sorry Rabbi...
"As a young 12yo boy I was practicing for my bar mitzfah with my rabbi. He took my phone to show me something related to Judaism, and low and behold he found the porn I accidentally left on my browser. The rest of that religious lesson was a lecture about how porn isn't real sex and I shouldn't get the wrong idea. Super embarrassing but at least he was cool about it and didn't tell my parents."
- veggainz
Meatus...
"I sent a Wikipedia link of a penis to my in-laws as a risqué joke but it backfired when the text link turned into a full color image of an actual person's penis and testicles with labels. It was far more explicit than intended but now I can say I sent a penis pic to my wife's parents and lived... And that's how I learned the word Meatus."
Is that me?
Cringe Look Away GIF by Night DriveGiphy"Well my mother accidentally showed me the home video of my own birth. It was on a VHS tape and it was of my parents wedding and boom half way through it just cuts to my mother spread eagle and me crowning. I've never been right since."
Oof, so much porn. Why do we save so much of it? It's free and always easy to access. I've had mine set off in my pocket, on my bluetooth. Imagine how that went?
Sorry Dad
Drew Barrymore Oops GIF by NETFLIXGiphy"Was showing my dad's friend pictures of me and my friends on my phone while he was visiting one day. Accidentally swiped onto a close up picture of my boobs that I had taken for my boyfriend a few days earlier. That was real awkward."
"nothing"
"One time I was watching an anime and this one scene had a guy in a small towel thrusting his hips and shouting "We're going to take the plunge deeper and deeper!" come on, just as my brother walked in. The fact that I jumped, immediately closed the browser and said "nothing" when he asked what I was watching did not help."
"DADADADAAD COME OVER HERE!!!"
"I went to boarding school in the earlyish 2000s, the go to prank was making someone's laptop background porn. One day I got a good grade and I wanted to show my dad. I got home, excited and told him "DADADADAAD COME OVER HERE", opened my laptop, and boom, a close up of two very fit bros mid coitus was set as my background. My father is a very stern, emotionally vacant stereotype of a midwestern father. He paused for a while. It felt like an hour but couldn't have been more than a few seconds. I was so panicked that I kinda locked up."
"He put his hand on my shoulder in an oddly tender way. "I love you no matter what, but you could've come out in a more subtle way probably." Explaining to him that it was in fact a prank and not me coming out was quite complicated. And that is how I accidentally showed my father gay porn."
Say Cheese!
"Cheese bikini… and I tried to play it off like it's explainable. Kid's mom at my nephews bday party, I was showing her cakes cause my mom makes cool cakes for the kids parties so was showing prior parties cakes. Whatsapp auto saves to roll, friend sent a picture of a plump woman, lovely lady no judgement, wearing Velveeta slices as a bikini… cheese bikini."
The Best 'Actually, You're Speaking To The Boss' Experience | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
Bad Stool
little girl good job GIFGiphy"I didn't know that pepto bismol turned your stools very dark. Thought I had cancer. Took a pic to show my doctor. Forgot that everything went straight to Amazon photos. The call from my wife was interesting."
- harag888
WICKEDWHIMS
"My WickedWhims Sims 4 mods…"
"Oh God. I can relate to this. I remember my friends crowded around my laptop to look at some specific file in my downloads folder (forgot which one) and of course the file right below it was some WickedWhims add-on with some title like "PENIS WICKEDWHIMS" or something. I was mortified. Thankfully my friends didn't say anything, so either they truly didn't notice or decided to spare me from the embarrassment."
dodged a bullet...
"Wasn't me but a co worker for some reason was trying to show this girl his search history and prove that he doesn't watch porn to her (he was trying to get in her pants) and me and my bud were there watching as he's showing this and all we saw on the history was "symptoms of chlamydia" and we proceeded to burst out laughing. Turns out he actually did have it. She dodged a bullet if she was ever gonna do anything with the guy."
Good enough...
"My mum, sister and I went to see the UK tour of Rock Of Ages and we met one of the actors and we had a selfie with him and he jokingly clicked on the photo to "check if it was good enough." And he swiped by accident on my sister's phone and we all saw her full naked body 🤦🏻."
Fail Search
Oh My Wow GIF by TV LandGiphy"My cousin wanted to search BJ's Wholesale Club but she just typed in BJs."
"Is that your wife?"
"I have an artful black and white nude picture I took of my wife as my home screen on my phone. It's one of those tasteful types with no "sensitive" parts showing but it's still clearly a nude. I had to replace the protective screen on my phone so I took it in to the AT&T store to get one and the lady behind the counter offers to change it for me."
"Without even thinking I thumb the button and throw my unlocked phone on the counter. She looks at the phone, then at my wedding ring, back at the phone, and says "Is that your wife?" I could barely mumble a yes as I realized what just happened and she was nice enough to say "She's very pretty and you two make a great couple."
"I don't think I said anything else except thank you and I am quite sure I turned about forty seven shades of red before I could scurry out of there. I went home and told my wife about it and she left a very sweet five star review for the lady."
(insert name here)
"I was scrolling through Twitter in my history class as I usually did when I had completed all of my schoolwork, but one of the tweets was the pornhub intro. I panicked and scrolled away as someone would do in that situation, and at first no one really responded so I began to think no one noticed."
"Then out of no where one of the girls in the back of my class said "Hey (insert name here) are you watching porn!?!" So obviously I went into full panic mode and tried my best to explain it was some meme on Twitter, but before I could finish my sentence the girl said "Hey don't worry about it. We all watch porn there's nothing to be embarrassed about."
"At this point the whole class including my teacher was just staring me down. I didn't know how to respond. I couldn't respond, so I just kinda put my head down and started "working on some home work" also known as me writing something down in my notebook."
Sorry Boss
"My wife sent random nudes while I was trying to show my female boss a picture of my kid that my wife had previously sent me. The message thread scrolled all the way down when the photo came through flashing her boobs to my boss."
- roll_hog
Say Cheese!
Mariah Carey Pictures GIFGiphy"My brother was looking through my camera to look at a car show I was at and I forgot I took a bunch of pictures of the girl I was dating. He just stopped was like "nice" it took me a minute to realize he got to the pictures of her."
Yay Vin!
"When I was a teacher, I usually had my computer screen displayed on the smartboard so I could reference online material. One lunch hour, a student who knew I was an action movie fan told me that there was a new XXX (Triple X, those Vin Diesel movies) coming out. I was excited, and without really thinking about it I typed in XXX into my search bar and hit 'enter'. I meant to type 'XXX trailer', but yeah. A giant list of porn websites showed up on the computer and the class started laughing."
Florida Trip
"A few years ago, I was showing a friend/co-worker some pictures I had shot while on vacation in Florida. I was just swiping through, telling him the story of the picture, where it was, etc... and then hit a picture of me and my (at the time) wife in the hotel."
"You couldn't see much of me, but, was an amazing view of my wife, fully naked, in cowgirl position, straddling me, and leaning back. I just said, "That's Sammie, obviously. We were at the hotel in bed in this shot...", He laughed, I laughed, and I never told my wife that one of my co-workers had seen her naked and with me."
Followers
"Back when I had Twitter I used to follow a few pornstars I'm a fan of, anyway in addition I followed a few political figure accounts as well. Anyway on day I had seen a tweet from a political commentator I thought my parents should see since they didn't have Twitter so I bring up my Twitter on their laptop and in a brief moment of realization it dawned on me there's a decent chance they may see something they're not at all expecting. Sure enough there's a pic of Jenaveve Jolie spread eagle. Horrified describes my reaction Best."
Be careful and precise with your phones. They have minds of their own sometimes. And keep your less... wholesome images, on a separate drive. Private love making and bowel movements should stay that way.
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@GregAbbott_TX/X
