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Divorced Father Wants Daughter To Relocate Her Kid's Birthday Party From His Ex's House, And Daughter Is Torn

Divorce is an arduous event than can complicate and taint every aspect of life for the parties involved forever. It can reach through generations to cause trouble; case in point. Redditor Partythrowaway6 is feeling the lasting effects of divorce. She reached out for advice... here's the sitch...

Dad(50m) wants me(24f) to change the location of my son's (1m) party.


Ok, so backstory. My parents divorced when I was 7. They didn't really speak after that but since my brothers and I are now grown they will say hello to each other and small talk about their grandchildren if we are at family events. After the divorce my dad went MIA for a while and due to this my brothers and I have a lot of unresolved issues that no one ever brings up. We all still spend time with him and take our kids over to spend time (but our kids are not that comfortable around them) Also, my dad remarried when I was maybe 13? And my mom is technically single but has a "friend" that my brothers and I see as more of a father figure (we call him first for money problems, car problems, advice, etc.)

So that's a little backstory, if there are any other family dynamics I'm missing please ask.

Now to my problem. I had a son last year who will be one in June. My husband and I currently live with my mom as we are saving to buy a house and hope to be out by the end of the year. Since my son will only be turning 1, we didn't want to do anything big and thought we would just have a small party at the house. It's free, there will be a/c and my son is comfortable there of course.

So I told my dad the plans and he immediately told me "When your parents are divorced and they each have significant others it is proper etiquette to have events at a neutral location." A part of me knew this would happen as he did the same to my brother a few years back and they ended up having his son's party at Chuck E. Cheese. I don't know if I should give in though.

When I told him it would cost to have it anywhere else he said that's what grandparents are for. So to appease him I looked for other places and saw that I only had two options. I could rent a room in a venue or a pavilion in a park. The problem with that is we planned to have some water activities for the kids in the backyard and people could go inside to the a/c if they wanted. With these options I can only have one or the other. I refuse to have a party at a place like Chuck E. Cheese or any other kid places because my son is one, he will not remember, and it will cost too much.

What's weird to me about this is my dad has been in my mom's house before and his wife has been there by herself before. So I'm not really seeing the issue. Also, it makes me angry that even if there was a problem that he can't put it aside for a few hours for his grandchild. He can sit on the screened in porch and not even have to come in the house if he doesn't want to.

I should note that no one but him has a problem with him coming. I'm very tempted to say whatever he just won't come and have the party the way I want.

Reddit, please help me. Am I being crazy? Unreasonable? Should I change the location? Are there any other locations I should consider? I really need an outside opinion.


Man up Man!

Giphy

See, I hate this crap. I am my husband's second wife, he has two kids from his first marriage, and we always try to make it work, for the kids' sake. His first wife and I send texts back and forth on Mother's Day (I always wish her a happy mother's day) and when his daughter was having a few issues we got the whole family together to help her: me, my husband, Mom, her husband. His first wife has been there for me when my father (and later, my step-father) died, and I am there for her if she, her husband or the kids need anything. I would be very comfortable and welcome at a birthday party at their house. We get along, and we get along well, because it makes it easier and better for the kids.

Tell your Dad that this Step-Mom says to grow up.

Diaperbabee

BRAVO!

Thank you, thank you, thank you for this! It's so important, and as a child of divorced parents, I appreciate this so much.

ThePoopie

I love people like you so much. You're doing a good job.

jolie178923-15423435

You're doing it right girl!

I just want to say that I love hearing about this dynamic. My parents tried for something similar but my bio dad would decide he wanted nothing to do with my mom, then would turn her into the bad guy when she wouldn't let me visit. As I got older (around 3rd-4th grade) my mother became abusive, and it got worse as years went on. This particular issue had nothing to do with her, however. She had full custody and wouldn't let me leave the state if he refused to answer her calls or speak to her because she wanted to know I was safe. He turned it around to make it seem like she didn't want us to have a relationship. Even now, nearing 30, I wish I had a childhood like the one you are providing for your children. Thank you for being an awesome human and raising kids in an environment where they feel loved.

LizLemonsBaby

Do you boo!

Have it at your mom's house like you planned. It's your son's day, not your dad's, so do what's best to give your son the party you want him to have. You can't get into the habit of letting your dad dictate your choices regarding your children.

"Hey, dad. I've thought it over and there really isn't another venue that's suitable for what I have planned, so the party will be at Mom's house. I hope you can make it so we can all celebrate Son's birthday together."

If he declines, that's his loss. Your son won't remember whether he was there or not anyway.

taversham

The truth can sting...

Giphy

Tell him when parents divorce it's proper etiquette to not go MIA and he's a guest to this, not the person in charge of planning. If he doesn't like it he can not go. Which fits, because not showing up is something he's got a lot of practice in.

BlueWaterbottle24

Got any ideas pops?

You want a low-key party for a one year-old. Paying for a venue makes it something else.

Tell him the party plans are what they are. If he wants to celebrate with the kid at another place, he can make arrangements for a different day and you will gladly be there.

Intelligent_Alfalfa

Children of Divorce

I'm sorry, as a child of divorced parents who both got remarried, he's simply being petty. Both of my parents have celebrated different events in the living spaces of each other, not to mention it's been years since the divorce. Have the party where you want to have it, and make sure it's the most comfortable place for your son. Tell your father your reasoning, and if he doesn't accept that, tell him that your child's comfort comes before his.

alwaysright6

Listen to Nana...

"When your parents are divorced and they each have significant others it is proper etiquette to have events at a neutral location."

Grandparent here. We have a fair mix of steps and halfs between grandparents and kids. IMHO it's fine to have it at one grand-parents house provided all grandparents get invited (as you did).

JoshuaLyman

You're not alone...

You're not crazy or unreasonable.

Similar story, I'm the same age as you and my parents divorced when I was about 3. My dad made a stink about going for a meal after my graduation from medical school next month because my mother would be there. He said I should just accept that events like that and my wedding (!?) would be awkward because of their divorce. Like you I was pretty hurt that he couldn't put his own feelings aside for a few hours.

I finally told him to get f**ked, and guess what, he's going to come along for the dinner without complaining. Don't let your parents divorce nearly TWENTY YEARS AGO make your life harder. If he's not over it, especially given he's remarried, forget him, it's his problem.

forel237

Simple truth...

Giphy

Just have your kid's party. Don't get sucked into this. Live your life and your selfish dad can get with the program or not. WHY would you turn your life inside out for someone who wouldn't do the same for you?

NiteNicole

Don't be a baby dad...

Birthday parties for 1 year olds are really parties for the parents and friends. The 1 year old won't remember. Tell your dad that he is welcome to come or not come but the party will be at your home... period...

Velvetrose-2

Your dad needs to get over himself. Don't let him order you around or you'll never be able to put your foot down.

ashmagic487

Show me your receipts...

"Dad, if you want me to have a party at a neutral location then you're going to pay for it."

DFahnz

Sounds like your dad is a bigger baby than your baby.

You're having the party where you and your child live. At that age it is so much easier than going somewhere "neutral." What if he needs a rest in the middle of the party? Or a change of clothes? Or a second change of clothes? Or whatever!

Personally I would tell your dad that you won't be changing the venue due to what's best for kiddo, as well as costs, and you hope that he won't be so uncomfortable that he misses this big moment in his grandson's life. "As you have been here before, I didn't think you'd have an issue with the location, but if it is too much for you to overcome, you will be missed. If you can come just for a little bit for pictures and cake it would mean a lot to us." (I have no problem using guilt when people are being selfish and unreasonable).

sydneyunderfoot

Bluffing

I've dealt with similar divorced parent issues with both my parents and my in-laws. This is what I respond with, every time:

"The party is at X time on Y date and Z place. Everyone is invited, including you (and your wife). If you decide not to attend, you'll be missed."

And that's it. Everyone's invited and if someone can't suck it up and be an adult for two hours for their grandchild's party, they can make the decision to attend or not but I'm not playing games with multiple events or not inviting someone or changing our plans.

Worth noting also that every single time, without fail, they have all sucked it up, acted like grown ups and come to the party. I have the only grandkids on my side but my SIL has excluded one parent or done multiple parties for years before DH and I got married and I refused to play.

eightdaysgirl

You're already home...

I would be more on the side of your dad if you didn't live with your mom. It's completely reasonable to have a party for a 1-year-old where you live.

GildedSnail

Just Practical 

Giphy

Something else to think about, if you want to put your child down for a nap, it'll probably be easier in his own sleeping space than at a pavilion or a park.

I wouldn't change the venue. My wife's parents divorced when she was young, and they still get together wherever we decide to have a party. If you give in, it's going to become very tedious over the rest of your son's life to always think about how your father will react.

mndtrp

A few ideas...

Its also proper etiquette not to be a douche to your children but that doesn't seem to be stopping him. I'm sorry, I'm sure he has redeeming qualities, but avoiding drama doesn't appear to be one of them. Giving in to this silly demand to follow a completely made up rule of etiquette will do two things;

1.) Set a lovely precedent whereby any time he doesn't like something he will; a.) demand you change it to accommodate what he wants because he knows you will. b.) throw money at it to solve the issue which will result in; c.) him lording that over you if he needs something from you in the future.

and

2.) Create a gigantic drama where everyone will be angry and resentful at everyone else because who wouldn't get annoyed that previously made plans for something that is very special are now being changed to accommodate one person's made up problem.

Tell your dad that the plans are the plans and you hope he'll come but if he doesn't want to he'll be missed. This is that proverbial "hill to die on." You don't need to be dramatic about it. You can tell him you heard his concerns, looked into it and you'll be sticking with your original plan. Keep it simple and keep it lighthearted and then you do you.

He'll either grow up or he won't. And a very happy birthday to your little one!

DanielsMuse527

Fixer

Have you mentioned this problem to your dad? What did he say?

I am a very no bs person. Your dad has the problem, so in my mind it is his problem to fix. You already did a lot of research already and those items provided more problems. If it is more of a cost problem then he should pay the difference. If it is a son remembering problem he will not remember if it is inside, outside or a Chuck Cheese. I see this as a more financial problem than anything and if your dad is willing to fund the move and the extra cost. The problem should be solved.

dtowngamer

He's basically said he will pay but I guess the problem is more of I just don't want to.

Partythrowaway6

Do you...

Giphy

Stick with your planned party. If he doesn't like it he's free to invite you to dinner to celebrate.

Your dad is missing two things here. 1. This is your life and family and he needs to support you. 2. You live with your mom. He should be grateful that she's such a stable force in his daughters life because he hasn't always been.

ZombieBoobies

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The parents of Ja'bari Gray, a baby boy born on New Year's Day in San Antonio, have only been able to hold their son twice in three months––because Ja'bari has no skin.

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A bride is regretting her decision for her sympathy-inviting a woman who was not initially invited to join her bachelorette weekend.

The bride-to-be originally omitted a "friend" from the list because she was a "downer." But this friend refused to be tossed aside and complained to the point where caving was the only option.

Sometimes, going with your gut and hurting someone's feelings is slightly better than ruining your celebratory getaway.

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Collect/PA Real Life

One of the youngest women in the UK to have terminal stage four breast cancer has spoken candidly about her wishes to buy the horse of her dreams and get married in a castle "like a fairy tale princess."

Told in March that the breast cancer she was first diagnosed with in 2016 had returned and was now terminal, having spread to her spine, Vicki Turner, 24, of Kings Langley, Hertfordshire, had just one question: "Am I going to die?"


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Shockingly, one of only 31 people under 24 to be diagnosed with breast cancer each year in the UK – accounting for just 0.056 per cent of the 55,000 annual cases across all age groups, according to Cancer Research – Vicki said doctors told her she could survive for anything from three to 30 years.

Facing an uncertain future, rather than cracking under the pressure, the HR auditor, who has had a double mastectomy, set-up a GoFundMe page, which has already smashed the £10,000 target she set to buy and keep a horse, saying: "Horses have always been my therapy.

"I want a male gelding, maybe a warmblood Hanoverian. I'm going to get him settled at the stable, groom him and give him lots of carrots, and then start having lessons and work towards taking him out.


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"The diagnosis drives me to do things more rapidly. That's why I started my horse fund in March, just after my latest surgery."


She continued: "It's already raised £11,000, which is totally amazing. It makes me feel like I'm being hugged 1,000 times by 1,000 people. It's unbelievable. I truly never expected it to get this far."

But Vicki, whose dream is to marry her compliance engineer fiancé Simon Eastaugh, 25, in 2020 in the magnificent Leeds Castle near Maidstone, Kent, is no stranger to adversity.

She was just three-years-old when she was diagnosed with a Wilms' tumor, a type of kidney cancer, affecting about 70 children under the age of five each year in the UK with a 90 per cent survival rate, according to the NHS.

In September 1998 Vicki had a stage three tumor "the size of a grapefruit" removed along with her right kidney, followed by 19 rounds of radiotherapy, 17 rounds of chemotherapy and 15 blood transfusions over the course of a year.


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Left bald and with a weakened heart, she recalled: "At primary school I was bald as an egg. The kids in my year looked after me, but I remember getting called a boy a lot by older kids, which at that age isn't very fun."

Vicki, whose brother Ali, 21, is a car salesman, had no further dramatic health problems – apart from having her appendix removed at 14 – until she reached 19, when she was put on blood thinners for a cerebral venous sinus thrombosis.

This is a blood clot in the dural venous sinuses, which drain blood from the brain, and was diagnosed following a week of severe migraines.

She said: "I was taking the contraceptive pill at the time, which doctors thought might have caused it."


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"A nurse said to me that I have been unlucky, but I think I've been extremely lucky. I could have died when I had my first cancer, I could have had a stroke when I had my blood clot, but I didn't."

One of the mainstays of Vicki's childhood, through good times and bad, was her love of horses.

She had riding lessons from the age of eight, developing a talent for dressage and winning several competitions as a teenager on a horse called Toby that she rented with a friend.

Then, turning 21 in January 2016, it looked set to be the best year of her life, with her meeting her fiancé in the unlikely setting of her nail technician mum Helen's 'H-themed' fancy dress party, for her 50th birthday, at Hertfordshire's Chipperfield Cricket Club.

Recalling how she was dressed as a Hell's Angel at the 23 July bash, Vicki said: "He plays cricket for that team and was still there with some of his mates getting a bit p****d when we arrived, so they joined the party, although not in fancy dress.

"My mum went over, dressed as Helen of Troy, and interrogated him, asking why he hadn't met me. It was so funny!
"I couldn't have met anyone more perfect for me. He's so positive and he just lifts me up and makes everything fine."

Life was great for the couple until November 2016 when Vicki found a lump in her left breast.


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She continued: "We were getting ready to go out and I'd just had a shower and I remember watching a video that advised women to check our breasts in the shower.


"When I felt mine, I found a lump. I showed Simon and he told me to talk to my mum, which I did."

When Vicki saw her GP she was given an emergency referral to the St Albans City Hospital breast clinic for a biopsy and mammogram.


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A few days later on 17 November she was called back to St Albans and given the devastating news that she had Grade 3 breast cancer.


She recalled: "Mum was with me and while I was totally shocked, I think she'd had her suspicions."

She continued: "Still, we both just cried and cried and cried."

On 8 December 2016 she had a double mastectomy, to stop the cancer from spreading to the other breast – a procedure that is only performed on 50 women under 30 a year in the UK, according to the NHS – and reconstructive surgery.

After her operation at north west London's Royal Free Hospital, Vicki – who has no family history of breast cancer – also had six rounds of chemotherapy and was given hormone repression treatment, to "kill anything floating around."

Speaking about her treatment, she said: "Every time I get taken down to surgery I cry.

"I've been having operations since childhood but I never get used to them. I can't quite get the hang of being brave when it comes to going into surgery.

"But the most difficult ordeal was the chemotherapy. It's the hardest thing that I have ever had to endure. You lose your hair and your confidence."

She continued: "I lost the ability to physically do what I wanted. I got tired going up the stairs and while it saves lives it's a massively destructive path to go down in order to save your life."


Before starting her six-month course of chemotherapy in January 2017, Vicki tried, unsuccessfully to harvest her eggs, with a view to having children in the future.


Collect/PA Real Life

She explained: "Initially there was potential for four eggs and then it gradually went down to one and it was a phantom egg. So that's kaput for my eggs."

She added: "To be fair, I was first told this was likely when I was 12, so, for years I have been pondering the other options, like adoption or egg donation."

With her chemo finally over at the end of June, 2017, Vicki started looking to the future. Her hair grew back and she and Simon went traveling.

Vicki said: "We travelled around South East Asia from February to June 2018, going to Thailand, Laos, Cambodia and a bit of Western Australia, which was wonderful."

She continued: "Then we worked for a few months and went around Europe from August to October, before going skiing with my family in Bulgaria over New Year."


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But then during a routine checkup on 20 February 2019 her breast doctor found another lump where the cancer had been before on her left breast and said that looked like scar tissue.

Vicki said: "It grew between the skin and the silicon and saline implant, so I could feel it below the nipple."

Doctors acted quickly and on 25 February Vicki had a biopsy which, on 6 March led to catastrophic news.

She said: "A nurse asked me to come in to the hospital and I thought 'I don't like this'. I asked why and made them tell me on the phone. Something in me wanted to hear it and my first question was 'Am I going to die?'

"I think my breast care nurse just said something to console me."

She continued: "I just didn't think it was my turn to go through it all again. I had thought that it might come back but not until I was 30 or later."

As Vicki and her family prepared for yet another battle, Simon took a step towards making one of her dreams a reality.

She said: "Simon proposed on 19 March. I'm a massive Anne Boleyn fan and he proposed in the chapel of the Tower of London where her body was buried."

But, a day later on 20 March, at a scheduled appointment following a routine CT scan at Watford General Hospital, Vicki was horrified to be told doctors had seen "a speck" on two of her spinal vertebrae.


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They explained that her breast cancer was now stage four, it had spread and she also had spinal tumors that were inoperable.
Vicki remembers seeing her builder dad, Dave, 55, cry for the first time, when they told him and her brother what had happened.

She said: "I'd never seen Dad cry before, but we're very close and normally pretty good at receiving bad news, so it was a shock."

Giving her anywhere between three and 30 years to live, they said they could not be more precise until they see the results of an MRI scan on 10 April, which she is expecting any day, due to the aggressive nature of breast cancer in young people.

Still, Vicki, who is also waiting for a new treatment plan, went ahead with a lumpectomy on 28 March at St Albans to remove her breast tumor below the nipple on her left breast.

She said: "I'm terrified of what my medical team will say next, to be honest. I said to my oncologist I thought everything would go back to normal but it didn't.

"This cancer will never be out of me now. There's nothing I can do. I eat healthily, I don't smoke, there's literally no reason for me to have been dealt this card."

"I'm most scared of not being around to watch my family grow old."

She added: "And I want to get married and have children, or even see my friends and brother have children and get married. I'd like to look after my parents when they get old too."

But, despite her fears, Vicki – who returned to work a week after her lumpectomy – is still determined to give herself incentives to carry on, the most important of which will be to buy a horse of her own.

She continued: "Being with horses is my escape from the anxiety, fear and sadness of the cancer that lives in me and how it's going to affect my life."

She said: "I even have list of horse names, that's how sad I am! Simon told me to call it Lord Elrond and I thought of Thor, so that's the short list at the moment.

"My dream is becoming a reality and I said to myself 'You can have your dream horse' and it takes away the fear."
To donate to Vicki's horse fund at www.gofundme.com/vick039s-wish


The company behind the Assassin’s Creed video games has pledged 500,000 euros (around $564,900 USD) to help restore Notre Dame Cathedral.

French publisher Ubisoft featured a painstaking recreation of the landmark in its 2014 game Assassin’s Creed Unity, which is set in Paris during the French Revolution.

Now, after fire ripped through the 850-year-old building earlier this week, the company is vowing to help with its reconstruction.

“As the smoke clears on the events that unfolded on Monday at the Notre Dame de Paris, we stand in solidarity with our fellow Parisians and everyone around the world moved by the devastation the fire caused," Ubisoft said in a statement. "Notre Dame is an integral part of Paris, a city to which we are deeply connected. Seeing the monument in peril like this affected us all. In light of Monday’s events, we will be donating €500k to help with the restoration and reconstruction of the cathedral. We encourage all of you who are interested to donate as well.”

Ubisoft dedicated 14 months of production time – a total of 5,000 hours of work – to recreating the cathedral for Unity.

The interior of Notre-Dame Cathedral in Assassin's Creed Unity

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Game players are able to climb up the outside of the building and explore the intricate detail of the interior.

Such is the realism of the rendering there has been speculation the research and analysis could help with the upcoming restoration efforts, though a spokesperson for Ubisoft said the company was “not currently involved”.

“It is important to keep in mind that what we did for the game was not a scientific reconstruction but rather an artistic vision,” the spokesperson said. “While we wanted to be very precise with details, there are some differences in terms of scale and with some elements. That being said, we would be more than happy to lend our expertise in any way that we can to help with these efforts.”


Notre-Dame Cathedral in Assassin's Creed Unity

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Unity will be available for free to PC users for the next week in a move Ubisoft says will “give everyone the chance to experience the majesty and beauty of Notre Dame”.

“Video games can enable us to explore places in ways we never could have otherwise imagined,” Ubisoft said. “We hope, with this small gesture, we can provide everyone an opportunity to appreciate our virtual homage to this monumental piece of architecture.”

Also contributing to the efforts to restore the cathedral was Disney, who produced an animated version of Victor Hugo’s The Hunchback Of Notre Dame in 1996. They announced a five million US dollars contribution.

“The Walt Disney Company stands with our friends and neighbours in the community, offering our heartfelt support as well as a five million US dollars donation for the restoration of this irreplaceable masterpiece,” Disney chairman Robert A Iger said.

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Chinese state media reported the last known female Yangtze giant soft-shell turtle has died.

She was estimated to be over 90 years old.

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PA REAL LIFE

TW: Eating Disorder and triggering images.

Breanna Cornell enjoys being suspended by her skin from metal hooks and running 100 mile ultra-marathons, has spoken of the "immense sense of joy and feeling of achievement" provided by her hobbies. Which have helped her combat anorexia and body dysmorphia.

Cornell said both activities involved pushing her body to the limit and, while having sharp objects threaded into her skin was initially uncomfortable, the fear and excitement was also thrilling.


Cornell lives in Coconino County, Arizona – where suspension is illegal, since it is not considered a medical procedure unless it is carried out by a doctor. Nevertheless, Cornell has taken part in the practice 12 times, since being introduced to it by her then boyfriend, two-and-a-half years ago.


"There is certainly a connection for me between long-distance running and suspending that accounts for why I enjoy them both so much," she said. "There is that feeling of fear and adrenaline at the start that then becomes an almost calm-like meditation once you get going, and then the overwhelming feeling of achievement at the end."


Despite the inevitable pain experienced by hook suspension, Cornell insists she is not a masochist, seeing the pastime more as an artistic and emotional expression, while admitting that she does enjoy challenging her body.


PA REAL LIFE - Breanna Cornell

Hook suspension has been practiced by Native Americans for hundreds of years.


"I wouldn't say that I derive my pleasure in suspending – or marathon running for that matter – from the pain, but I would certainly say that I like being able to push my body to its limits, which does involve some amount of pain," Cornell said. "For thousands of years, humans have endured pain as part of daily life, but in the modern world we have been able to live pain free. This seems to me to make us lacking at a genetic level as pain is an essential element of human existence and I, for one, couldn't do without it."



PA REAL LIFE - Breanna Cornell

A long-distance runner since childhood, Cornell completed her first marathon just after leaving school in 2010, but soon set her sights on greater goals than 26.2 miles and in 2012 was competing in ultra-marathons in Africa.


Around the same time she developed a penchant for body modification, having her first tattoo, a wing on her foot, aged 18, followed by a series of piercings on her ears and nose.


"Growing up, I had had a lot of problems with anorexia and body dysmorphia, where you have a very negative perception of your body," Cornell added. "I liked getting piercings and tattoos of drawings that I had made, because it allowed me to look at my body and focus on them instead of the way I looked."



PA REAL LIFE - Breanna Cornell

At this point hook suspending was not yet on her radar, although she was aware of it, but viewed it as "gory and unpleasant."
That changed in April 2016 when she joined her then boyfriend, a suspension enthusiast, at an event.


Watching him being strung up by a professional piercing artist at a studio in Phoenix, Arizona – where suspension is legal – she was fascinated.


PA REAL LIFE - Breanna Cornell


"Up until that point, I didn't think it was for me at all. It looked very scary and frankly quite gory," she explained. "But then, as soon as I saw it for myself, I knew immediately that this was something I wanted to do."


She would have to wait another six months, however, before she could be hooked up herself. But in October 2016, she arranged a session with the same piercing artist in Phoenix, costing $100.



PA REAL LIFE - Breanna Cornell

"I was really, really nervous beforehand and was sick twice because there was so much adrenaline pumping through me," she said. "I was put in the 'suicide' position, so called because it looks like a person hanging as the hooks are through the skin at the top of your back, and there was a lot of fear to overcome, as I lifted my final toe off the ground, as it feels so unnatural. But once I was up there, suspended five feet off the ground, I had a rush of immense joy and it felt as though I was weightless and floating."



PA REAL LIFE - Breanna Cornell

Staying suspended for half an hour, Cornell knew as soon as she was eventually let down that she would have to do it again – she was, literally, hooked. So, six months later, she returned – this time being rigged up in a 'superman' position, flying forwards with 10 hooks along her back and legs.


Having now been suspended 12 times, or roughly every six months, Cornell says her hobby provides her with an outlet for her emotions.


PA REAL LIFE - Breanna Cornell

"My response to each suspension really varies on my mood. If I am happy then I will have a lot of fun and swing around a bit," she explained, adding that she also chooses her position according to her mood. "But if I am feeling a bit stressed then it can be really nice to get into a more static position like the hammock – where you are sitting into the suspension with your knees and shoulders hooked. That way, I can sit comfortably for hours and just relax."


Despite its long history and growing popularity around the world, hook suspension is not without its detractors, some of whom Cornell has encountered.


PA REAL LIFE - Breanna Cornell

"I realize that not everyone will understand the appeal. One person I know said it was 'appalling.' But that's why I often try to compare it with marathon running – a much less maligned pastime," she said. "There is just as much pain involved in running long distances, but you don't necessarily do it for that reason – you do it for the satisfaction of having pushed your body. And that, for me, is one of life's greatest joys."



PA REAL LIFE - Breanna Cornell