Introverts don't actually dislike people, contrary to popular belief. Being an introvert and having anxiety is not the same thing, so let's make that perfectly clear from the start. Being an introvert simply means you need some time to recharge your batteries before engaging with other people again. Some of my favorite party animals are full-blown introverts––when the party's over, they retreat into some solitude before re-emerging good as new.
But there is often miscommunication between introverts and extroverts that can make maintaining friendships altogether difficult. People elaborated on these issues when Redditor humanbean07 asked the online community,
"As an introvert, what irritates you the most?"
"I love people."
"People thinking that "introvert" means "disliking people."
I love people. I love learning about people.
But when I want space to recharge, that's it. It's nothing personal."
You're right––it's not. It's just how you are.
But you're also right in that people do think it's a personality deficit of some kind, and that's unfortunate.
"The guilt-tripping..."
"The guilt-tripping after you say no to plans. And the way it feels like you have to have an excuse for being busy rather than just not wanting to go, just to avoid the guilt-tripping."
So many excuses... so little time.
"If I'm going..."
"Things like very persistent "Ohh, come on, stay with us!" If I'm going, I have a reason. I had good fun, I start to be exhausted so I see myself out to leave with positive memories. Don't make me feel bad for it."
The party's over when it's over, I guess. Ever heard of the "Irish Goodbye"? Try it sometime––you'll thank me later.
"Thwarted expectations..."
"Thwarted expectations for time alone. We're planning to go out, spend time together? No problem. I'll rest up for it. But you let me think I've got a night/day/weekend to myself, or our thing will be over at 7 and now it's 9:30 with no sign of ending soon, I'm going to be irritated as f***. I didn't budget energy for this."
I'm not an introvert but... "I didn't budget energy for this."
I'm stealing that.
"When I am completely..."
"When I am completely socially and/or energy depleted, I've expressed my need for some quiet/alone time, and someone continues to try and talk to me."
Some people really don't understand social cues and it can get very awkward from there on out.
"I'm both..."
"People not really differentiating between shy and introverted. I'm both but they're not the same thing."
"I can't do it."
"Small talk. I can't do it. I don't know what to say. Especially when I'm talking to a stranger. I work retail so sometimes I get those really chatty customers."
The worst is when it happens after you've had a long day of work. The horror of being trapped in the elevator with someone who just won't shut up!
"Please, let me enjoy..."
"The assumption that some things are fun for everyone.
Please, let me enjoy my book while listening to the birds in my backyard instead of spending the evening standing next to sweating people in an area that feels way too small for me to be there. I understand some people love going out––why is it always assumed that everyone does though..."
"I actually really enjoy..."
"People who think everyone has to talk all the time to have a good time or be happy. I actually really enjoy listening to people's stories and don't want to talk so much myself. Thanks."
Introverts of the world: we see you, and we're sorry. We'll try to be more mindful.
Extroverts: Take notes! You'll be doing everyone a favor.
Are there some "extrovert" behaviors that annoy you? What can be done? Feel free to tell us in the comments below!
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