You can't always pick your who you live next door to.
They're the bad kind.
Reddit user, u/oilpaintroses, wanted to know who was the worst person you lived next to when they asked:
What does your crazy neighbour do to be labelled "the crazy neighbour"?
Some behavior can be easily explained away, like maybe they've just had a bad day or perhaps their trash bins were knocked over one time too many.
A Bunch Of Raccoons In A Trench Coat
"He jumped in front of my car while I was driving down the road to yell at me for going through his trash at night. Told him it was probably raccoons. He refuses to believe it to this day."
"This is my favorite one. Instead of moving his trash or getting locking lids, he stalks your car at night to throw his body in front of it to protest your suspected raccoon-like activities. All the while, the trash pandas are in the background, having a f-cking field day with his trash."
Respect The Imaginary Badge
"Pulled us over pretending to be a police officer, saying that we had somehow broken the law whilst pulling out of our driveway and that she was "going to call it in."
She isn't a cop lol."
At Least It Wasn't Christmas Lights In Summer?
"We had one a while back that had a meth lab in the home. Crazy fights, yelling at all hours of the night,, dude would wander around the hood tweaked out crazy, and once he threw a Molotov cocktail out of the 2nd floor window at another dude who was smashing up his car, screaming, "I'll f-cking kill you, motherf=cker!" Those were interesting times."
Should The Lesson We Learn Be, "Always Clean Up After Your Pets?"
"She placed a mannequin dressed up as a nazi soldier in her yard staring into the neighbor on the other side's living room window."
"In fairness, that other neighbor DID ask crazy lady to pick up after her dog on walks, so it was probably warranted."
These neighbors definitely bring the crazy, but in a more manageable way. Nothing they do feels too out of control, but you most definitely wished they would take it somewhere else.
That's Not How Any Of That Science Works
"My sister's neighbour reported my sister to the police because her kids were playing in my sister's garden. Not for the usual reasons, too much noise etc. Nope, because a volcano in Italy had erupted and the radiation would hurt them. My sister lives in the U.K."
Wait Until He Gets In The Catnip
"My neighbor sits in his yard, hides behind his plants and meows at people who pass by. He is not dangerous at all but he is not right in the head either. His caretakers are his parents and they seem to be very nice people. His dad once told me "he just likes to be a cat" and left it at that. I didn't ask any more questions."
At Least It Turned Out To Be Noth--What Was That Again?
"He cleans his car every day. Like he commited a murder or came back from a robbery, with gloves, cleaning wipes, cleaning solutions, list goes on..."
"Fast forward a year and a few months, I wake up to more than 8 police vans in full combat suit. Bulletproof vests, hk gc36, that raided his home at first light. I'm talking a full blockade of the neighbourhood, with patrols and vans over 300m around his home."
"Rumor spread that he killed one relative, coz there was scientific police entering the house. In reality he was investigated for gun and ammo traffic online. Fun fact I had to call police two years befor this because I heared 3 shots 50 m from my house, just a little down the road where his house was."
Best Excuses For Late Assignments That Were Actually True | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
Thanks For The Gift?
"A kid who was in my neighborhood left a bunch of pictures of porn outside of his friends house. Including mine. He is now a outcast in the neighborhood."
...But Why?
"My neighbor was an 85 year old widow that lived alone. She had two vehicles, a car and truck, and over the course of a few months I realized that she was no longer parking her car in her garage like she had for the many years prior to that, then suddenly the truck wasn't being parked inside the garage either."
"Turns out she no longer had room in her garage to park her vehicles because she was walking down to a residential construction site about a block away every evening and she'd grab two 2"x4"s and bring them home. She had over 500 boards stacked in her garage and when she was questioned on what she was going to do with it, she didn't have an answer."
Then there's these neighbors, those of whom would top any list with their zany antics and questionable life decisions. What do you do in a situation like this?
Consider moving?
Not Going To Be Bothering Anyone Anymore
"Had severe anger issues and yelled at anything or anyone he didn't like on the street. A few years ago he had a road rage incident and when he started banging on the other car's windows the occupants got out and beat him badly. During this he had a heart attack and now barely has enough mobility to walk to the mailbox and back, also he doesn't yell anymore."
Some People Just Want To Watch The World Burn
"She has a penchant for going around sticking nails in people's tires at night. This has happened dozens of times to nearly everyone on the street, though she's slowed down since more people started installing video cams and motion-sensor lights in their driveways."
"Her reasoning? If she's capable of it."
"She's just one of those misanthropic people who gets a kick out of others' misfortune. She's done it for almost 20 years, apparently; her favorite night to do it is Sunday, when she also goes picking through people's recycling on the curb for cans and bottles. The lucky people find the nails and screws before they go out driving, but others have had their tires pop on the expressway."
Is It A Warning To All The Other Bunnies?
"I'm a bit late, but he traps bunnies and rabbits in his backyard, and kills them. He makes sure everyone knows. Also, whenever anyone bordering his backyard is having a party with females, his 50 year old a-- peers over the fence and says "What's up ladiessss", with a loud hiss at the end."
...Yeahbuwha?
"He eats my flowers.
In his defense, he told us that he has been doing it for years when he introduced himself after we bought the house. He also brought over frozen cookies in a plastic bag, as a housewarming gift, but wasn't sure what was in them. We share a side yard and as he was talking to us, I noticed his all brick house, was actually roofing shingles, layered to look like brick. It started to register that he may be a little out there.
He's a great neighbor. Just an older, eccentric stoner who keeps to himself and eats my flowers. No shame. Comes over to my yard, and eats my lillie's raw, or brings scissors and clips the heads to 'boil and make jam'. It's crazy to me, but we have embraced it. I planted a couple raspberry, blackberry, and blueberry bushes 3 years ago, when we first moved in, on the side yard we share. As well as a few knock-out rose bushes. I told him to help himself to berries/roses anytime, especially before the birds do. The bushes have all gone insane and the entire side of my house is now a yearly buffet for my neighbor. Having a decent relationship with a crazy guy I share a property line with, is worth some deadheaded flowers."
Everyone is different. Everyone has a unique way of expressing emotions, approaching a new meeting, or casting an overall sense of welcome. Hopefully you'll find a neighbor or two you can open up with, uncork a bottle of wine, and enjoy a nice pleasant game night with.
However, the moment they start eating your flowers maybe you should call your realtor.
@mrralphfiennes/X (Twitter)
@mrralphfiennes/X (Twitter)
