There is nothing better in life than hearing the phrases... "You WON!", "Free" and "Lifetime Supply!" Hearing those sentiments can make your heart melt; no matter what the prize is.

Heck, give me a lifetime supply of Corn Flakes and I'll jump for joy. The victory of winning is a highly potent drug. If only all the times we won something money could be involved, then we'd all die happy.

One Redditor asked Anyone who won a "lifetime supply" of something, what did you win, and are they still supplying it to you?

Internet & Pop! There's your golden goose!


"Free internet for life and a year's supply of Coca-Cola checking in."

I got the free internet through an Oak Ridge National Labs (ORNL) program for middle school students in 1994 (Sacam). I used it consistently for something like 10 years but at that point dial-up was so far behind Cable or DSL that I just kind of stopped using it. I honestly don't know if it would even work any more as I've had no reason to try it.

The free Coke products was a little weirder--basically when I was attending university I noticed that the Coca-Cola I bought near the school just SUCKED. Like it didn't taste like Coca-Cola at all, more like an RC mixed with Pepsi. I commented on this to all my friends and they had no clue what I was talking about but I could blind test cokes from home versus "university cokes" and get it right every time. Eventually I sent an e-mail to Coca-Cola basically just asking why the Cokes in Cookeville sucked so much and could they fix it. They (quite surprisingly) took it really seriously and asked for numbers off of the affected cans tracked it down to the bottler (canner?) and had it fixed within 6 weeks. Sent me a stack of just hundreds of silver "free 12 pack of any coke product" coupons and thanked me for my time...

Worked out great. Still had over a hundred of them left at the end of the year.


Only if I can have Peanut Butter filled or trade for the rapper...

I found a gray M&M in a pack in the late 90s. At first I thought I won $1M, but I won the second prize of a "year's supply" of M&Ms. I had no idea what that meant when I sent in the wrapper. They sent me back a box of 400 coupons, each good for a pack of M&Ms.

I love M&Ms, but after the first 30 or 40 packs, I started to get a little tired of them. I'd take some coupons with me every time I went grocery shopping, and if I saw kids not being brats, I'd go up to their parents and offer them some coupons to give their kids M&Ms. A few thought I was weird or something, but most parents and kids were happy to get them.

I also gave out multiple regular size packs for Halloween that year. Near the end of the coupon expiration date, I just went out and bought the remaining 50 or so and kept them around my apartment, which lasted me about another year or so.



When I was a kid, Crayola was running a create a new color contest. If you won, your color went in one of their big boxes of crayons and you got a lifetime supply of crayons when they retire colors and make new ones. I made Swamp Green and won. They send me a new big box of crayons 1-2 times a year and have been doing it for 20+ years.


I'd rather Coke but Pepsi works...

I won a year's supply of Pepsi when I was in 6th grade. It was one of those grocery store contests, I entered about 30 times a day and surprise, they drew my name! We had to go to a distribution plant and pay the deposit on 16 cases of Dr. Pepper, my fave, enough for a can a day. My dad made me get half diet, lame. I had all 16 cases stacked in my bedroom, I'd take a 6-pack to school every day. I was pretty popular for a couple of months. They say a lot of people who win millions in the lottery blow it all and end up broke, I can attest to that. It was good while it lasted!


Rub a dub Grub!

I once won a year of free Grubhub. It wasn't a full calendar year, but it was ~$1k in free food, and their system kept track of how much was left each time I ordered. Pretty sweet deal, especially since I was in college at that time.



Sitting in my doctors office one day and I find a card for entry into the lifetime subscription lottery for Nat Geo. 17 year old me slips this card into my pocket to take home and fill out. I notice that you needed a subscription number to complete the form so I take it off the label on the cover. Long story short I won my doctor a lifetime subscription to National Geographic.


That bunny never stops bouncing!

I won a lifetime subscription to Playboy magazine in 1969. I was a senior in college. It was the raffle grand prize at a big party weekend. The subscription has followed me around the world ever since. Don't anyone say "those old issues are worth something." Except for the very first year issues, they are worthless. And who saves old magazines? Also the articles haven't been much to get excited about for quite a while now. I'm currently bracing for a "final issue" arrival or notification of same. It has been a lovely run.


Hot damn! I mean Hot Dog!

I won a lifetime supply of hot dogs at a hot dog festival once. It came with a nice grill, except when I went to pick up my hot dogs, the company gave them to me all at once. I was 30 at the time, and their figures all worked off an 80 yr lifespan. 3 Hot dogs a day for 50 years works out to be 54,750 hot dogs. That's 5,475 packs of 10. 228 cases of 24 packs, 23 boxes with 10 cases each. I had to buy an extra freezer just to hold them. I gave away what I could not store. Churches, homeless shelters, food banks. We ate them for years.


Eventually some things find use later in life again...


My parents won "a lifetime supply" of diapers for me when I was about 3 months old. It was a contest where I apparently had won on a cute picture. They received 3 years worth of diapers and figured I wouldn't need more after that.

They were right...so far.


I'll never go hungry again with Jim.

I won a lifetime supply of Slim Jim beef jerky from a contest at my local grocery store. By lifetime supply, I mean 6 huge cases of Slim Jim minis, with each case containing hundreds of them. For the first 3 months, they were my go-to snack. It got to the point where I was eating dozens of them per week. By the end of the 3rd month, I ended up sick/ puking profusely and never touched a Slim Jim again. I gave the remaining boxes to my family. It has been 8 years and I still have not eaten a Slim Jim since that day. The thought of eating one or even smelling one makes me nauseous.


Forget Jack and silly beanstalk...

My great-grandfather was a farmer, and won a contest for plowing the straightest row in the county fair. This was about 1910 in Saskatchewan, Canada. He won a lifetime supply of seed. Each weekend he would go pick up about 20+ bags of seed and, with his horse and buggy, take them to the train station where new families were exiting the train. In 1910, Saskatchewan was giving away land to new immigrants, and for years and years he would give each family bags of seed to start their new farm.


Shake your bonbon!


A kid in my school won a "lifetime supply of bonbons." He actually got it, but it was based on one bonbon per day for a period of 100 years. So he got a few large bags, for a total of around 36,500 individually-wrapped chocolates.



I won free pizza for a year at little Caesars. They sent me $520 in gift cards, all individual $10 ones. I went though those cards in like 4 months. It was quite possibly the best 4 months ever.

We walked into one and ordered like 20 pizzas because we had been drinking and decided everybody needed their own pizza.

Thanks little Caesars seriously it was amazing!


Spread the Kibbles...

My mother used to do sweepstakes. She also used my name and address for them too. Well, i won a year supply of purina dog food. They sent 52 coupons for up to 25lb bags. My dog at the time, Doobie, was a squat 35 lb beagle/yellow lab mix and he was just fine with the small bags per week. So, we donated the vast majority of them to a local animal shelter.


Don't break the bank!


My Brother won a lifetime supply of Twinkies. he would get a couple large boxes a month. Than the company went bankrupt. New company does not honor the lifetime supply agreement.


Not me but one of my buddies family won a lifetime supply of bread, they delivered on the bread but the catch is that it came yearly on a big truck. Every kind you could imagine but way too much bread for one family to handle. So they ended giving most of it away to people who live in our small town before it molded.


So close yet so far...

I won a year supply of French fries from a burger joint called Mooyah's when they opened up their 100th store. However, within the month the store closest to me closed down and the nearest one was 200 miles away so I never actually got any free fries.


Is there a Million Dollar Day to celebrate?!


I had a coworker who won a lifetime supply of pies from a local pie bakery on Pi Day. He got one free one a month as long as he shows the card he got. It's been 4 years (I think? Whatever year was the correct continuation of Pi) and he brings them into work sometimes. He doesn't bother getting one every month though since he's single and lives alone, plus the calories are insane. He even gets the super fancy "call ahead for specialty order" type of pies for free. They're delicious.


Fools! I tricked you! HAHAHAHAHA!!!!

I won a month of free bagels from Panera, limit one per day. Jokes on them, I was taking paternity leave at the time. I went there every single day that month. What a month.


You get a donut! And you get a Donut!

I have a dunkin donuts lifetime free card. Won it in a competition about a year and a half ago organized by them. It had about 1000 participants and I was the winner. So I get free donuts for lifetime (the catch is that I can get it only once a week, have to eat it in the outlet itself and can't share with anyone else.)



There aren't too many things that would make you go, "Man, I'd rather go to hell than be here right now. Hell has demons, torture, fire, and all the ill-prepared pizza they can shove down my throat." However, if you had to choose between these people's predicaments and hell, you'd probably be ready to have pizza for dinner.

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Dad jokes can feel like the unloved step-sibling of the comical world. "Why would we laugh at something so obvious and stupid?"

Becuase it's hilarious, that's why. Just check out the following entries below and see for yourself.

Reddit user, u/GrotiusandPufendorf, wanted to know what the funniest jokes on the planet are when they asked:

What is your favorite dad joke?

A Murder Of Cows?


Dad: Look at that flock of cows over there.

Kids: A HERD of cows.

Dad: Of course I heard of cows, there is a flock of them right over there.

Note: pulled that joke successfully a few times, and my kids even did it to their summer camp instructor.


We Should Probably Leaf

At the park with my girls: "Dad, can we go play?"

Me: "sure, just stay away from those trees over there"

Girls: " umm...ok, why?"

Me: " I don't know...they look a little shady to me."

Good for producing eye rolls


What Better Way To Carry It Home


"Would you like the milk in the bag?"

Dad: "No thanks, you can keep it in the carton."


Scrambled Or Over-Easy?

Dad at breakfast: I'll have bacon and eggs, please

Waiter: How do you like your eggs?

Dad: I don't know, I haven't gotten them yet!


Feeling The Humor

Dad: "Nice shirt, is that felt?"

Not Dad: "No."

Dad: Reaches over and touches sleeve "It is now!"


That Joke Killed!


Why do graveyards have gates?

Because people are dying to get in.

My Dad always told it passing a graveyard.


Lean Back. Lean Back.

"I love my furniture. My recliner and I go way back."


Stating The Obvious, But Still Hilarious

I had a terrible day yesterday. As I was walking home, a man in a wheelchair stole my camouflage jacket!

As he was wheeling away, I shouted after him, "you can hide but you can't run!"


Give It A Second...


A magician was walking down the street.

Then, he turned into a grocery store.


Car Humor. That's All.

Dad putting car in reverse

Dad: Ahh, this takes me back


That's Always The Point

Not a joke in the traditional sense but, when I'm at a restaurant and the waitress says "Do you wanna box for that?" I always reply with "No, but I'll wrestle you for it."

No one ever gets it but it makes me laugh. And that's the point, right?


And the King of Them All...?


I tell dad jokes.

Sometimes he laughs.


Believing in dub stuff as a kid is par for the course. When we're children, we're just tinier humans with less life experience, right? But let's be real- some of the dumb things we believed were actually really, really dumb.

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