Wedding Photographers Share Their 'That Couple's Not Gonna Last Long' Experiences

Some marriages had problems before saying "I do".

The Last Session

"Bride looked visibly miserable the entire ceremony. While photographing the men’s 'getting ready' portion, the groom repeatedly kept joking about killing himself."

"During the toast, the bride ran off to the bathroom for about 30 minutes and came back wiping her tears with her eyes red and puffy. Neither of them had any chemistry at all, it made no sense why they were together to me. That was the last wedding I shot."

– Majestic_Storage_563

Groom's Wandering Eye

"I'm a videographer and the groom called me a couple days after the wedding. He wanted me to make sure I didn't include any footage of him checking out the women at the wedding."

– Tim0281

Party Bride

"One of those hotel venues that can run two weddings at the same time. Bride from our wedding is found in a hotel room with the groomsmen from the other wedding doing drugs before the first dance. End result was we got paid and were told no need to edit or deliver pics. Safe to say It didn't last the night."

– mysticsika

Red Flags Galore

"The engagement session."

"The couple was in from out of town because she had just taken the bar exam to become a lawyer. At the end of the session, I gave them a prompt to share with each other what they were proud of each other for. He couldn't think of a single thing."

"Somehow they still got married, complete with: the groom drinking 11 IPAs + several shots before the ceremony, mother of the bride so drunk for family photos she pretended to strip, and the groom and all the groomsmen wearing camo hats with neon orange letters that said 't*tties and beer.' For the entire wedding day. Including sunset couples photos where he refused to do anything I suggested, nearly spat chew right on my feet, kept farting on purpose, and loudly complained about how all he wanted was to go have sex."

– V-Savage

Demanding clients indicated how difficult they might be as a spouse.

Once More From The Top

"Wedding was on a golf course. Bride had a vision she wanted of her husband driving up on a golf cart to see her for a first look."

"He got one look at her from the top of the hill and vaulted the cart, ran down the hill, picked her up and twirled her around to tell her how gorgeous she was. We caught it all. It was the best first look ever."

"Once he set her down she straightened herself and looked back to us. 'Okay, I don’t want that. Let’s do the golf cart now.' And she sent him back up."

– Pancakes_Whisperer

More Photoshop Please

"I did a wedding for an acquaintance and her husband. Day goes great, I’m really happy with almost everything I took, everyone was feeling it and having fun. But, (and this is one of the reasons I quit photography) the bride sees some of the photos I had sent her, and immediately is calling me. 'I need you to do the editing magic and make me look skinny, John was saying I was going to look too fat in my dress and wanted me to lose weight but I knew you could just edit it, so haha I didn’t'. So I have to explain (this is like 2010) I can only photoshop so much, I.e. I can make you look a tad slimmer in certain photos without making it noticeable. But I can’t do it to all of them, and if I was to, the editing would be noticeable, and I will have to charge you a lot of money to edit you in all the photos. She tried to convince me to edit hundreds of photos for a couple hundred bux, and I have other jobs going and had given them a great deal already so explained I couldn’t. So she insist I do at least some of her main pics, I tell her when people see the rest of the pics they will see the difference, she didn’t care and insisted more. So I do, and a couple weeks later when I thought it was all done and history calls me and leaves me a voicemail of how I ruined her wedding, her new husband is upset at how she looks in the pics and keeps making remarks about her weight. So didn’t seem like they were in a great place from the get go."

– Jadedsatire

A Secret Arrangement

"While shooting video, I attached a microphone to the groom for audio and proceeded to prepare for the ceremony. Just as I was about to adjust my audio settings, the groom stepped into another room with a friend. As I put on my headphones, I overheard the groom confiding in his friend, describing the wedding as a 'wedding of convenience' and reassuring them not to be concerned about what would happen in their relationship."

– NoodleMaps

The best man shouldn't have too much to drink. They might overshare.

Cold, Hard Truth

"Went to a wedding during college to my friends that got married who graduated 2 years prior to me. They had a beautiful wedding on a boat off the Keys and as the best man gave his speech, he was really drunk by this point, just shouted out, 'You don't deserve her, you literally got a bj from a stripper no make that two strippers at your bachelor party. Peace out.' He dropped the mic and tried to do a dramatic exit but by this point we were all stuck on this boat in the middle of the ocean. It took an hour to get back to port, and it was the most awful and awkward hour of our lives for everyone on that boat."

– breakitupkid

A Harsh Roast

"in another life, i worked catering shifts. loads of saturday weddings. i'll never forget the best-man's toast of the groom. it was a shameless roast. he spoke openly about the groom's willingness to shag anything when he's drunk. he then went on and on about the groom's deadly gambling habit and his short fuse when he doesn't win. he asked the stone-faced groom 'how many thousands of dollars in golf clubs have you destroyed or lost in countless ponds?' nobody was laughing. the bride had tears in her eyes and the groom's parents sat in stunned silence."

– dys_p0tch

Some people aren't marriage material.

Disasterous

"This was 15 years ago or so, I left wedding photography a few months later."

"The reception was at their home, they didn't want photos at the ceremony, and didn't want wedding party/family photos between the ceremony and reception triggering the first raise of the eyebrow on my end. At the reception the groom didn't want his brother, the best man, in the photos. Other eyebrow goes up. The mothers of both the bride and groom both scolded me to let them be and told me to eat instead of take photos. The groom and the best man got unholy drunk and had a weird by play of brother making way too many toasts and the groom making grossly inappropriate speeches of what he's going to do to the bride on the honeymoon."

"As the newlyweds were making their grand departure the bride tosses the bouquet, everyone cheers. The groom shouts 'I knocked the b*tch up so hard she's got two babies in her c**chie"' Guest react in various ways of shock and happiness about the pregnancy test but the best man lunges at the groom shouting and swearing. Family holds the best man back as the couple runs out to a car. The groom flipped off the spectators, and pulled out of the driveway. Two houses down the car stops, the groom gets out and pukes on a neighbor's lawn, the bride gets in the driver's seat and takes off, leaving her husband yurking into a flower bed, and the best man ran down the street trying to flag down the car."

"Divorced four months later."

– OmicronPerseiNate

These are but a mere sampling of weddings gone wrong or couples that should never have gotten together in the first place.

Do you have any stories to share? Let us know in the comments below.