It's a really big deal to cancel a wedding, and it's a really hard choice to make.
But sometimes, something that somebody did is so incredibly wrong that you feel you have no choice at all.
u/mydogismygod0 had to lay out his case clearly for the people of the internet.
from AmItheAsshole
After the near death of his dog, the man blamed his fiancée's negligence.
"She likes to text while driving, she always leaves stuff on the electric stove (like kitchen towels, the cutting board etc.) even though she has turned on the wrong burner and burnt whatever was on it several times in the past, and similar DANGEROUS things. It's not something I hold against her in the sense that I would ever mention in a fight, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't worried that she might end up killing herself or someone else. For example, my dog."
And what would you do?
Some people said that if the dog meant more than she did, it wasn't worth it to begin with:
"She clearly doesn't mean that much to you, so yeah, leave over this."
"I have a cat whom I adore beyond reason and if my current BF accidentally hurt him, I'd be pissed and upset but your dog isn't dead. If he's more important than your woman, that relationship is doomed. I've been in a relationship where I would have chosen my cat over them. That is not a good relationship."
"ESH - and reading through your replies to most people it seems you've got a lot of issues with your partners behaviour, and you were possibly looking for a good enough reason in your head to end it."
"I hazard a guess that if everything you've listed has been getting to you over time, that the marriage would not have lasted long after that."
Still others say that the carelessness is symptomatic of something even worse:
"That level of carelessness could lead to death. What would people say if she had done the same thing with a kid around?"
"It's pretty obvious how you feel, getting out now seems like a better option than having this fester until the divorce."
"You asked her to do one thing. Put the dog away. I saw a comment where you said they kept him out because they wanted to pet him and stuff. This is what makes her TA. She deliberately ignored what you asked of her after she asked for the dog to stay there, and then she neglected to watch the dog or put the dog away later when they started drinking. It's neglect of an animal."
"It's really pissing me off that everyone is giving off 'it's just a dog' vibes. Like wtf. This wouldn't of happened if the dog was put away like she was asked. It wasn't an accident or a mistake because she left the dog out on purpose for entertainment. I think this is a legitimate reason for not marrying her. It's not like they could get married and be happy and laugh about it in the future like 'do you remember on you hen party when my dog almost died due to your stupidity? Hahahahahahahaha'"
"No".
"I don't understand the people saying, "But it's just an accident!" She went against clear, easy instructions by OP and should have enough common sense to keep that stuff in a safe area in the first place. She also has a history of questionable decisions. What if this was their child in the ER?"
"OP, block her family and take a break from talking to yours. You don't have to forgive her just because your dog lived this time. And you don't have to stay and marry her just because you've been together for 4 years. You don't have to explain yourself to anyone."
"You didn't cancel the wedding over your dog, you dog was just the straw that broke the camel's back."
The poor pupper doesn't deserve this:
"if she did that to a dog what would she do to future children (if you were planning on having any). People can break up for any reason at any time."
"I hope your dog makes a full recovery."
"Just imagine you having children with her and her f*cking up something and endangering the children."
"I do understand that accident happens but this shows a lack of responsibility just like the texting while driving example , it's a huge red flag to me and I personally would not be together with this kind of person."
"You can decide not to be with someone over anything that you feel you should not be with someone over. No one else can decide if you should stay with someone or not. If my partner accidentally almost killed my do like that, I'd break up with them too. It's total disregard for the dog's life. I'd never respect them again."
Some people, still, think that the OP is to blame:
"You obviously knew how careless she is and still chose to leave the dog that you love so much in an unsafe environment. Any responsible pet owner would deem that unsafe for a dog....Especially if they loved it so much. Yeah she may have pleaded with you and got angry at you but at the end of the day, it's YOUR dog and YOUR responsibility. For goodness sake, you knew everyone would be drinking and you trusted DRUNK people to make responsible decisions?! That's on you. And if you'd stood up for your dog then you wouldn't be in this situation."
"Although after your comments trying to justify your decision regarding her being irresponsible in the past, it sounds like you've already made up your mind."
"She messed up by not doing as you said but it wasn't only on her."
"You say she is a careless person and you give a bunch of examples, then isn't it your job to take care of your dog and not leave it in a dangerous situation with her know her carelessness?"
"I'll be honest though, given how you mention other minor things she does/did, it seems to me you were already looking for any reason to bail on the wedding. You were getting cold feet and are using this as an excuse to get out of a years long relationship and marriage commitment."
"She made a mistake and had already been crying for hours, as you mention, so she didn't do it deliberately. I'd even understand if she hadn't shown remorse at her mistake or something."
"There is a reason why all those around you are saying you are over reacting, even your mum and your best friends. I don't think you are overreacting though, I think you are just using this as an excuse to bail, knowingly or unknowingly, because you have cold feet."
"She sucks for being careless and irresponsible, texting and driving, leaving things on the burner, etc. But you know she is a super careless person, continued to date her, and left your dog with her. Leaving a dog with a careless person is just as irresponsible. Though, not having this trust and compatibility just clarifies you two shouldn't be together."
"I get that it's your pet and all. But you were about to marry this woman... spend the rest of your life with her. She accidentally harmed your dog and you cancelled your wedding. If you end your entire relationship with her over this, you wouldn't of made it a year with her as your wife."
"Furthermore I literally can't understand how you value relationships with pets over the relationship of your SO. That's kinda insane IMO. Pets are good companions, I know that, but she was about to be your wife."
Either way, the fate of the pup is unknown, but the OP has conceded it wasn't "about the dog at all."
"She is negligent and irresponsible and I don't want to stick around and possibly see our child die in a car accident some day because she was texting or she forgot to put his seat belt on. I'd rather be an *sshole now than spend years of my life worrying every time our child is left alone with her. If she'd accidentally killed a person while texting and driving, I would also leave her. I guess I realized I don't want to spend my life with someone who has such blatant disregard for human (or animal) life."
So the decision remains final.
What would you have done?
@themanfromvulcan/Reddit
@buffysmanycoats/Reddit
@jadelikethestone/Reddit
