The Biggest Red Flags People Ignored In A Relationship

They say love is blind. And stupid.

In hindsight, it's easy to see all the problems and red flags.

But when a relationship is new, people often have their rose-colored glasses on.

They can only see and hear the good things.

Reddit user ravi_dxb asked:

"What’s the biggest red flag you ignored in a relationship, and how did it turn out?"

Manipulative

"He told me he had a special talent for manipulating people to get them to do what he wants for him."

"Went about just as tumultuous as one would expect until, lo and behold, it’s revealed he’s a sociopath! Who knew?"

"He was mostly just unapologetically awful and an extractor from everything that shined of anything."

~ valyrian_night_27

When They Tell You Who They Are

"Mine said he was an a**hole, that he hurt people and that he wanted to 'mess' with me."

"I thought he was exaggerating. Turns out he wasn’t."

~ AssistanceOk9103

Blameless

"Yeah, everyone else was always the problem. Also trauma dumping on the first date."

"Not sure why I didn’t pay more attention to that one."

"Oh and this mid-30s grown a** man would literally plug his ears when he didn’t want to hear something. Ugh so many that I ignored!"

~ OkUpstairs_

They're The Problem

"Said, 'Everyone hurts me and leaves'."

"I soon found the common denominator."

~ DreamyDudeBobby

Unavailable

"She was so hard to get a hold of. Honestly, the easiest way was talking to her on Myspace. But when we were together we had a good time. She seemed to really like me and enjoy my company."

"Fast forward to trying to message her one day. Her status on Myspace all of a sudden said 'married' and she had a bunch of pictures up from her wedding that past weekend."

"Became so clear I could not believe I didn't put it together earlier. She was engaged."

"Turns out she was hooking up with me on the side while engaged. I wrote her, 'So, married, huh?' Her response? 'Sigh, I knew this was coming'."

"As far as I know now, she is single with 5 kids, so I lucked out."

~ shartnado3

Unemotional

"Lack of emotions and thought they could do no wrong. Very, very bad."

"They rarely felt emotions. There were very few things that allowed them to feel anything, but they were all positive emotions."

"But all the things that allowed them to feel something where harmful, toxic or just twisted."

~ gloomy_d0t

Insecurity

"She was insecure about everything."

"Badly."

~ Difficult_Gazelle_91

"Makes you feel like you’re responsible for making them feel better, you can’t keep that up for long."

~ LifeguardKey7313

Exhausting

"Needed constant reassurance and attention. Spent way too much of my 20s on her and regret it."

"Being young and thinking you can 'fix' someone is such a disastrous decision."

"I haven't consistently dated someone since I broke up with her in 2018. It took so much out of me that I still feel drained."

~ fuckmoralskickbabies

Fixer

"He joked that I'd do well if I lasted even a month with him. I took it as a joke at the time—should have taken this warning seriously and quit right then and there."

"I think there was some childish ego in me wanting to prove something along the lines of, 'oh, I'm different and special and I can fix him'."

~ PhysicsProfessional8

Ultimatum

"She gave me an ultimatum early on in the relationship saying that if I didn't change how she wanted me to, she'd leave me. I was in my early 20s with very little relationship experience and absolutely infatuated with her."

"She went on to step on me for most of the relationship and, upon reflection, gradually wore me down over a few years. I became a version of myself that she wanted me to be."

"Eventually her Mom also became toxic towards me and that was where I drew the line. I was dealing with some terrible news about a family member (diagnosed with terminal cancer) and was told my emotions didn't matter and I should deal with them myself."

"I asked for a break from her and she ghosted me."

Been 5+ years. Very happily single, thriving in my career, and just got into my dream grad program. Don't know if I'm meant to find love in this existence, but feel happy for what I have in my life."

"That relationship did a lot of damage to my psyche, and I'm starting to finally feel like myself again, which is nice. Can finally say I love myself again."

~ Fit-Supermarket-9656

Looking For Drama

"When she snooped through my phone only to find nothing, then told me I was boring."

"It was her way of saying that she has a lot to hide."

~ SubpoenaSender

Dangerous Ex

"She told me during our second hookup that her ex was 'still obsessed with her' and 'probably stalking her'."

"I ignored it."

"Fast forward: Dude did stalk her. Slashed my tires. She cried and said, 'I can’t believe he found us'. We were in my apartment."

"Anyway, I still stayed for 3 more months because the post-coitus cuddles made me forget I was basically in a live-action Netflix docuseries."

~ SnooCakes9395

No Apologies

"She refused to apologize for anything wrong she did."

"Her response would always be, 'Just get over it'."

~ whyaremypantssoshort

Perfect

"Mine was always talking about how great she was and getting pissed whenever anyone treated her as less than perfect. Seven years and one engagement later, she dumped me for my flaws."

"She said she wanted to stay friends. I was fine with that until she told me I was the reason she didn't have kids and started making 'jokes' about murdering me in front of mutual friends."

"She developed a mysterious medical condition during our first year together. Before that, she was blaming her longtime roommate and her ex for wasting her 20s."

"She also lied about everything she told me about improving myself. Up to that point, she actually had me believing everything was my fault, that she really did nothing wrong, and that I was a terrible person."

"She had me thinking that during our relationship and a few years afterwards. That's how I learned what gaslighting and narcissism actually look like."

~ No_Improvement7573

Does John Wicke Know?

"She 'accidentally' killed her family dog."

"Supposedly, she was pulling up in the driveway, and noticed the dog laying down in the driveway. The dog was old and had mobility issues. She expected the dog would move out of the way before her car came to a stop."

"Unfortunately the dog didn’t move, and the dog died. Why she didn’t stop the car a couple of feet away from the dog, I have no idea."

"She told this to me completely out of the blue, and didn’t have any emotion whatsoever when telling me this."

~ morepedalsthandoors

Have you had warning signs in relationships that you missed or ignored?