The Red Flags That Your Therapist Isn't Good At Their Job

People seeking therapy put themselves in a vulnerable position for the sake of improving mental health.

They share their close-guarded secrets, thoughts, and other potentially embarrassing information with professionals because they entrust them to use confidential information for proper evaluation and solutions.

Sadly, not all health experts operate the same.

Those who were left feeling disappointed after their session shared their experiences when Redditor Several_Art6167 asked:

"People of Reddit, what is the main indication that a therapist is not good at their job?"

Sadly, these experts lacked integrity and exposed their incompetence in helping their clients.

Leaked Truths

"I logged in to my video session to find my therapist telling someone in the background I was a freak and repeating things I had said in session."

– SashaButters

Who Are You Again?

"When it’s obvious that they don’t remember your situation or haven’t reviewed case notes."

– Fu_Q_imimaginary

"I am always so amazed how much my therapist remembers. I have a big family and that's a common topic in our sessions. She seriously remembers all their names, stories I've told her about them, their personalities. She never takes notes."

"I've asked if she writes anything down after our sessions and she doesn't. It's really impressive. She knows all this information about me and I know nearly nothing about her."

– DragonPuffMagic

"I've been seeing my therapist weekly, and she still can't remember what we talked about last week. She's been late to every appointment, and she spends the first few minutes reviewing my chart while I wait, on the clock."

"I felt like I might be judging too harshly, until I went to get my hair cut and realized that my stylist, who I see once every 8-10 weeks, remembers more about what we talked about the last time we met than my therapist."

"My last session with her was scheduled for a full hour but lasted for 11 min. She showed up 5 min late, I spent the entire time reminding her of her own instructions to me about medication the week before, and then she said, 'ok, keep that up. See you next week!'"

"And ended the session. I canceled all future appointments and am not going back."

– Its-ah-me

The Awkward Impasse

"They can’t take 'I don’t know' as an answer to their questions even though you really don’t know the answer, and the whole reason of going to therapy in the first place is to try and find out the answer."

– hyrulian_princess

The Judgy Expert

"When your therapist tells you to drop all your 'delusions' that kept you surviving, without giving you any coping skills and treating you badly because you don’t have any. I dropped her as my therapist instantly, she was supposed to be the therapist who was an expert in CPTSD."

"She marked me as bipolar(when more than one of her colleagues stated I was a clear cut case of cPTSD), and refused to actually give any useful information. It was nope, this is the end game, you need to do this all instantly, without knowledge or help."

– WhoLetMeHaveReddit

People did not sign up for these situations.

Off Topic

"I had one that wanted to spend the whole session talking about the British royal family. Multiple sessions."

– ukimport

"I had one that didnt even let me TALK. I spent all 3 sessions listening to her and nodding. Felt like I was on the phone with my mother."

– DragnetDraconian

That's Not How It Works

"They start comparing their problems to yours."

– Damseldoll

"A little self disclosure is beneficial, but it requires keen observation and lots of insight. And it should always be used to create a sense of trust, never to compare and/or contrast."

"I'm so sorry for your loss. I know how painful it is to lose someone you love very much."

– theshizirl

"Exactly. As someone who works in social services I recognize the importance of building a rapport with a client and nothing can accomplish that like a sense of camaraderie and shared experience, however you have to maintain boundaries and know where to draw line."

"From a client’s perspective, they aren’t paying your life story or to be your friend. Time is valuable on both sides of the relationship, not to mention potential social complications that can arise from becoming TOO friendly."

– gpRYme

Speed Therapy

"My Therapist would always start the session late, try to leave it early, and tried to make everything wrong in my life the fault of my mom. I didn't even go to therapy for something involving my mom the therapist railroaded me into that conversation."

– Shadow948

"I hate when they rail road you into something. I understand asking your client to explore a new facet of their life that they didnt identify as harmful. But to keep pushing on the same button no matter the response is not the sign of a competent therapist."

– Susgatuan

Shaming The Client

"8 yrs ago I had a therapist disgustingly glare at me like I was an alien from another planet when I was explaining to her that I struggled with my maternal bonds with my children. I never wanted kids and ended up having two for my ex husband when we were together. It f'ked me up."

"I tried seeing a therapist and she was appalled when I told her I wish I’d never had my kids. I didn’t go to her for very long cuz all she did was shame me and made me feel like a piece of sh*t mother. I needed serious help and she made me hate myself more."

– Skeleton_4_Friend

Completely Checked Out

"Not listen to you. My last therapist asked me the same question four sessions in a row. Or I would tell him something and then 30 minutes later he would ask a question again."

– Elleseebee928

Redditors thought these so-called therapists weren't even good at being people.

No Social Graces

"They interrupt, make assumptions, don't let you finish and ask a totally unrelated question, they project their own views into your experience."

– gumbowluser

"This was the exact reason I left my old therapist: they constantly disregarded my experiences and minimized my struggles to a point where I actively felt anxiety thinking about my next session. Not fun."

– Soul_Maestro

Who's Counseling Who?

"The couple's therapist we went to told us he had been divorced 5 times, after I asked him."

– WyomingVet

"I swear some people become therapists just to convince themselves that they know what they're doing. That and for power over others."

– WyomingVet

Town Crier

"Gossips to you how messed up their other clients are."

– CrackersandChee

"I would absolutely enjoy hearing about this but it is appalling behavior. Like I have a morbid curiosity that (in this instance) should not be indulged."

– acenarteco

Unsympathetic

"lacking genuine empathy and downplaying your problems."

– sunshinesmiles203

"My last guy that I had told me 'well just stop being upset' when I told him I was really upset about something. We were doing remote sessions and he was talking to me from his car, while watching his dog run around at the dog park.

– BloopityBlue

It takes a lot for a patient to show up when there's a stigma about the benefits of seeking therapy.

When they're finally in the room wearing their heart on their sleeve, the last thing a client expects is to be treated poorly or left feeling unresolved after a session is over with even more low self-esteem than when they started.

Clients need to be supported, not made to feel more miserable.

Hopefully, you have not had the experiences mentioned in the above examples.