Relationships are hard work. Although many couples refer to the day they had their baby as the happiest of their life, everything leading up to the actual "event" is pure stress, stress that's made no easier by a husband who insists his parents should be in the delivery room while his wife gives birth.
That's the situation one internet user found herself in. Unsure of how to approach the situation, she turned to Quora, where other denizens of the net gave her their opinions on the matter.
I'm pregnant and my husband is forcing me to let his parents in the delivery room, but I don't want that. What should I do?
Quora users had a plethora of opinions on the matter; most of them cast the woman's husband in a not-so-flattering light. Margaret Challen wrote:
I'm not too happy with this husband of yours, quite frankly. Under normal circumstances I would say communication is key, set good boundaries, stick up for yourself, all that good stuff. But you're about to have a baby, in fact, from the looks of your comments on other answers, you're about to have twins, which is double the trouble and double the potential medical complications.
Your husband should have accepted your refusal the first time around. The fact that he keeps bringing it up suggests that you sticking up for yourself, whether it works or not, is going to cause you stress you really don't need at this point in your pregnancy. So I say punt the decision to someone in authority. Then if your husband and in-laws want to be mad at someone, they can be mad at your doctor instead of you.
Svetlana Miller told the wife that she would have to face the problem head on:
After I gave birth to my premature twins, who were in intensive care, I asked a nurse for advice on convincing my loving-but-overbearing extended family members to obey the NICU's strict hygienic requirements. They just absolutely refused to follow the NICU protocols, saying "we're the babies' grandpas/nanas/aunt millies, we don't have germs." I'll never forget what the nurse said:
"You're a mama now. Congratulations. Now grow a pair of balls."
You don't have to say, "I love your parents dearly but let me convince you why it's a bad idea to have them in the delivery room . . ." That turns things into an argument to be litigated and either you or your husband could "win."
Instead, you might try, "I'm going to experience what you can choose to see as either a medical experience or a spiritual one or both. In either case this is medically and spiritually my decision. And I choose not to have your parents in the room at that particular time. I realize that becoming a father is a spiritual experience for you too, and if it would be meaningful to you to have your parents around, that's your decision. You are welcome to carry our babies into the waiting room, assuming the doctors say they are healthy enough, and to celebrate with your parents there. Please understand that this has no bearing on how I perceive your parents as grandparents; it's not establishing any sort of precedent, since I don't intend to have my vagina on display at any other family occasions. Okay." And if he says "No," then start financially and mentally preparing yourself for some gut-wrenching decisions down the road.
Twitter also chimed in on the issue:
@TaRhondaThomas @9NEWS It's up to the mother. She is the one that has to go through the pain fully exposed. And no… https://t.co/nbcEdI3L1O— Shawna (@Shawna) 1529243629.0
@TaRhondaThomas @9NEWS What in the hell is wrong with people? While I was present in the delivery room for my kids… https://t.co/4x96kRY048— Mark Strobl (@Mark Strobl) 1529243905.0
@TaRhondaThomas It’s her vagina that is the center of attention not his penis.— Holly (@Holly) 1529255334.0
@TaRhondaThomas @9NEWS No way I’d put my wife through having my parents in the delivery room. In my book it’s up to… https://t.co/V63ztRCVbh— Big Mike (@Big Mike) 1529296310.0
“He must remain naked, spread eagle for at least 12 hours. https://t.co/cW73SSzjWX— LGBT NEWS (@LGBT NEWS) 1529105328.0
@MirrorParents @DailyMirror Tell him your body you labour your rules NOT his. Its a special moment you and your partner should have together— Stacey (@Stacey) 1528991781.0
@MirrorParents @DailyMirror Gross.— marianne (@marianne) 1528990063.0
Kick them all out. Hospital staff will help if they need to. He'll get the message quickly enough. Pregnant wo… https://t.co/RyOIi7PHPT— Boy from Oz 🇦🇺 (@Boy from Oz 🇦🇺) 1528963022.0
It seems the world was united on this one issue.
@TaRhondaThomas @9NEWS You know it’s bad when everyone on Twitter agrees.— Armadillo Nat, Esq. (@Armadillo Nat, Esq.) 1529284886.0
@TaRhondaThomas @9NEWS She should invite hers to his next colonoscopy.— Leo (@Leo) 1529288152.0
@TaRhondaThomas @9NEWS Sorry dude, your parents get to hang out in the waiting room...and be grateful for that!— LeRon (@LeRon) 1529245213.0
@TaRhondaThomas His first Fathers Day fail. What an insensitive ask.— mandyoneill (@mandyoneill) 1529246563.0
@TaRhondaThomas @9NEWS Childbirth is not a spectator sport. The mom (and dad) have a right to privacy. If mom says No, it means No.— Gloria Molnar-Jandt (@Gloria Molnar-Jandt) 1529252759.0