-Sigh- Okay, time to educate ourselves.
It's 2019. Being offensive is 100% not okay. And yes, we get that sometimes it happens by accident, but we need to learn more about it so that it doesn't keep on happening. You dig?
Let's take a look at some of those offensive sayings now.
u/tedioustiger asked:
What is something people say without realizing it's offensive?
Here are some of those answers.
How Does One "Look" That Way
"Oh wow, you don't look Autistic."
Yeah, thanks. I knew that. But thanks. I guess.
Not Your Life To Live
If you are single, when are you gonna find someone?
If you are in a relationship, when are you guys getting married?
If married, when are you guys gonna have kids?
If you have a kid, when are you gonna have a second child. The first one will be lonely.
Arrrgh!!!!
Not Important
I have a chronic illness. If I have to hear "at least you don't have cancer" one more time...
"But you don't look sick/really? you look so good." Thanks for totally dismissing my daily struggles because I don't fit your vision of "sick". I often respond with, "well, it's good the outside doesn't reflect the inside". Or "That's because I am so awesome that I make chronic illness look good."
Assimilation, Not Actuality
Idk if this applies to everyone, but this irks the hell out of me.
When I come out to people, sometimes I get this line: "Oh wow, you're a very straight gay person, I would have never guessed!" Usually coming from people I've known for a hot second before I came out.
I don't like that this is attributed to me. I'd much much rather be slightly effeminate and flamboyant. I feel better about myself when I do. I want to be able to talk about my relationship openly with a group.
The pattern of behavior that leads to that assessment is not a representation of the person I want to be. It's a façade born out of a necessity to pass as straight for my own safety. Praising that behavior sets me 10 steps back from where I am now.
Your Mind IS Your Body
I'm bipolar. I was diagnosed 20 years ago. I live a very routine oriented life with no drinking or recreational drugs. I go to my doctor and take my meds regularly.
Last year, for the first time in 15 years — I had a mental breakdown. It required me to take 6 weeks off work. When my co-workers caught word of what happened, I can't tell you how many "you need to spend time in nature" or invitations I received to church (because apparently Jesus would fix it).
I have a chemical imbalance. Just like you can't pray a heart attack away, you can't magically adjust your brain chemistry.
No Taking Sides
Some people assume that in break ups or relationships (of any kind) that someone is always at fault. Just. One. Person.
Nope. It can be both or none at all. Not everything is one person's fault. Especially if they're dumped or the dumpee.
Pisses me off so much when someone does this. They do it for fighting/arguing too.
Just Think For TWO Seconds, Please
When someone loses a child saying "It's a blessing that you have other children". No, it's still a loss that no one should ever face.
When someone says you look "good for your age". That implies that you look like crap but because you're old you did the best you could.
"Oh your children look nothing like you, so good looking/beautiful". Well, thanks it's nice to know I look like garbage.
Bye, Felicia
I've had many conversations with less open-minded people about video games and whether or not it's ok for adults to enjoy them. One of the responses I got were, and I quote "No like it's okay to like them, if like you don't have a girlfriend or like Friends and stuff, but most people have those things so they don't need them" The heck? Is that really something you say to somebody's face? A person who you know for a fact plays a lot of video games? To which I replied "Yeah sorta like how it's okay to like football if you don't have the mental capacity to understand any other form of entertainment." Shut her up real quick.
My Feelings Are Hurt
"you look tired" - are you genuinely concerned about my lack of sleep, or are you just trying to say I look like trash?
"Must be so nice to not have your boyfriend around to annoy you all the time" - as someone in a long distance relationship, I wish my boyfriend was around to annoy me all the time. An ocean and a 6hr time difference are no fun.
Comparisons
Anything where you're tearing one person down to lift another person up.
As a creator, it really sucks to get compliments on your work at the expense of other creators. For example, "Wow, your cosplay is so good! I saw someone else cosplaying [same character] earlier but they didn't look nearly as good as you!" or "You know, I really hate that character you're cosplaying, but you still look good as them so good job!"
Those aren't compliments. They're insults towards other creators disguised as compliments. You can just say "I like your work" without bringing up that other guy whose work you hate as a point of comparison.
