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In a bizarre story worthy only of Australia, a jogger claims she was followed and repeatedly assaulted by a kangaroo because she was wearing Sarah Jessica Parker's "Stash," a perfume.
A kangaroo has terrorised a woman in Beaconsfield, a local ranger saying it could be down to what perfume she was w… https://t.co/utMpTBhuNW— 9News Melbourne (@9News Melbourne) 1606974685.0
Tracy Noonan described the encounter as something you would see in a "horror movie."
"It just kept coming and coming. I thought: 'Oh my goodness, this kangaroo is going to kill me.'"
@newscomauHQ Wearing perfume when jogging????— YoungWerther (@YoungWerther) 1606963146.0
@newscomauHQ Attacked by an horse I can accept -- A kangaroo I am having trouble accepting.— The Smiling Catassin (@The Smiling Catassin) 1606967000.0
@newscomauHQ @rufflife69 @StancilJim no perfume when you fly down, please— Brown Snake (@Brown Snake) 1606964218.0
Noonan was kicked over and scratched by the kangaroo before she had the chance to run away.
"I just felt a massive thump in the middle of my back," she said.
"I turned around and it was actually just standing over the top of me."
@Complex Straya, even the perfume can kill ya— proLPTN (@proLPTN) 1607073487.0
There is really no explanation for this other than that Sarah Jessica Parker smells like a female kangaroo https://t.co/f2u8KIuu6X— waegukin in a waeguk land (@waegukin in a waeguk land) 1606992187.0
@PageSix Kangaroo be like, ‘girl come outside ain’t nobody gonna jump you’— Javier E. David (@Javier E. David) 1607041080.0
@PageSix Some kangaroos are jacked as! Scary beasts. https://t.co/e0zbIZYysR— jmanwozere (@jmanwozere) 1607044059.0
After seeking shelter in a nearby house, the kangaroo reportedly camped outside for a further 20 minutes before moving on.
"The kangaroo was waiting for me."
@PageSix https://t.co/imooZCWooY— Glennny Lennox (@Glennny Lennox) 1607044250.0
@PageSix Way to go, SJP. https://t.co/IjmFgvnq6J— Elaine 🥀 (@Elaine 🥀) 1607039510.0
@PageSix Pulitzer-worthy— brian kenney (@brian kenney) 1607039384.0
@PageSix @deliclit That's such a chaotic headline😂😂— Eddy Gordo Lite (@Eddy Gordo Lite) 1607100353.0
@PageSix https://t.co/44PosDzhba— Dysé Knee (@Dysé Knee) 1607123005.0
Noonan was thankfully okay aside from a kangaroo-foot shaped bruise on her back, and made it home without being pursued by any further trouble.
"Stash" has not been recorded to attract any other marsupials to date--hopefully no more kangaroo attacks will occur in Sarah Jessica Parker's name.