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People With Estranged Siblings Explain What Caused The Rift

People With Estranged Siblings Explain What Caused The Rift
Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

"Reddit user youngGod928 asked: 'Siblings who no longer speak, what caused the divide?'"

In life, all good things come to an end.

The same can be said for most bad/toxic relationships.


Usually that saying would pertain to romantic relations.

But the same can be said for familial bonds.

Not all siblings can complete one another's sentences.

Sometimes not knowing one another is the only way to go.

Redditor youngGod928 wanted to hear about the end of the road for many a sibling relationships, so they asked:

"Siblings who no longer speak, what caused the divide?"

The Parasite

"My brother turned into a parasite, preying on elderly women - our grandmother, a wealthy aunt, and our own demented mother, over the years. He even tried to get me to fund his life. When I took over our mother's finances and refused any payments, he dropped out of my life. He does not need to come back."

- AdministrationLow960

Terminal

"I cared for our terminally ill dad for 2.5 years until his subsequent death and can count on one hand how many times my siblings came by or helped."

- SkrodLaDa

"Same here. I figured I would eventually find this type of comment. Now, it’s my mom, and still nothing from my sister. She’ll call on holidays usually, or if she needs something aka money. She’s just a broken, angry, hateful person and would never concede that so won’t ever get the psychiatric help she likely desperately needs."

"I just don’t give a f**k and she’s worked her older husband into one heart attack already while she sits on her a** and spends what little money they have."

- JohnnyEagleClaw

"Real Family"

"They asked my kids who are adopted to step out of a family picture 'because they are not really family.' I gave them a chance to think about what they just said and silently counted to 10. They doubled down. And that was the last time I (or other family members) spoke to them."

- Zmirzlina

"I had a niece tell me at my adopted grandfather’s funeral 'You weren’t even his real grandkid' all while my adopted father stood there and said nothing. I just told the bi**h I’d known him longer than she’d been alive and continued on."

- FrankAdamGabe

So Far Away

"I haven’t spoken to my sister in a decade, and don’t attend family events where she will be present. She stole my mom’s identity and wracked up almost 20k in unpaid debt. My mom plays it off as a childish mistake (my sister was 27 at the time) and despite my pressing her, my mom refused to press charges. Without her help, the police just had to let it go and my mom paid off the debt."

"My dad died years ago and was estranged. My mom already has a will in place. She listened when my other sister passed away. Got everything lined out and taken care of. Last I saw it, I was the main beneficiary because my mom trusted me to be even-handed with whatever she left behind. However, I wanted to be surprised if my sister manipulated her into changing it because I moved 'so far away' from home. So far away is a 25-minute drive lol."

- TradReulo

Too Much to Lose

"Drugs. It's a shame, I feel for them, but the stakes are just too high. I have too much to lose. They've lied to and stolen from just about everyone else who's given them the opportunity to, so I have to keep away from them. See them at family stuff and am cordial, but I have to understand that the creature inhabiting my brother's skin isn't him anymore and hasn't been for years."

- CollateralSandwich

BYE

"They never reach out and hardly ever reply so I dropped the rope. No animosity, just no desire to keep reaching out and having my feelings hurt. Can't be disappointed if you don't have expectations."

- Repulsia

Phaedra Parks Bye Felicia GIFGiphy

Years Gone By

"My brother and I inherited a house together when our parents passed away. It's a nice house in a nice neighborhood with a half acre of property with plenty of room. It would have been ideal because there was no way either of us could have afforded a place like this on our own. But he had to go and turn into a raging, insane, alcoholic. The alcohol over the years has rotted his brain."

"Everything in the house that broke was my fault according to him. He would be ranting and raving over some stupid thing every day, usually about what a crappy person I am or some decision I made in my life. The situation devolved into threatening violence and death threats. The problem is, the few times he is sober, he does not remember a lot of what happens."

"I eventually moved out. I'm so much happier now. It got to the point where I feared for my life. So I will not contact him for any reason or respond to emails or phone calls. Usually on Friday nights, he leaves me long rambling messages on my voicemail where I can't even understand what he's saying because he's so drunk."

- Chickadee12345

Such a Fun Family

"She lied about having cancer. I'll just never be able to trust anyone like that in my house and around my family. There's really nothing that can fix it either, I think you need to have something really broken in your brain to do something like that, like unrepairable damage."

- Plastic_Kiwi600

"My grandma lied about having cancer too, and she did it to try to prevent my mom from flying to another country to look after her sister who has major bipolar disorder. Such a fun family."

- GT_Numble

"My sister did the same. She even went as far as giving people with cancer advice on chemo out of her 'own experience' She is perfectly healthy and never had cancer."

"I just can't get over this."

"She's done a lot of stuff but there is no coming back from this."

- noproblemcupcake

She's Dead to Me

"My sister has never liked me. She's six years younger than me. Years ago the mother of my children and I divorced and she has sided with my ex on everything. I'm the main breadwinner and live on one coast due to the industry I work in, my ex lives across the country with the kids to be by family. I see the kids several times through the year and I wish we were geographically closer."

"A couple of years ago my ex was acting erratic and come to find out she was going through either addiction issues or mental health issues. I offered to move her and the family to my city and take custody of the kids. That way my ex could be in their lives but also not have the monetary and day-to-day stress."

"My sister, without ever once talking to me about it or asking questions, went to my kids and told them I was trying to steal them from their mom. It caused incredible turmoil and has taken a ton of time from my side to repair things with them. Things are much better now with my kids through a ton of effort but I'll never speak to my sister again. She's dead to me."

- bobafat

Boundaries

"Alcohol. My sibling has been drinking for 30 years."

"She's in her mid-40s, drunk most days, and posts her relationship drama all over social media."

"She wore a white ball gown to my wedding, and stole items, money, etc from me and my family."

"I don't follow them on social media and I don't see them when I travel near where they live."

"They are unable to respect boundaries so they are choosing to not participate in my life."

- Hsbnd

Oh Well

"They live 5 states away and we’re both lazy."

- _Goose_

Kevin James Eating GIF by TV LandGiphy

RAGE!!

"Both my younger sister and I were horribly abused by both parents. There were three older siblings that were wanted and were treated like gold. I moved away and was in therapy for 13 years. Both parents are dead now. She did no therapy, had two kids, one which she can't shut up about and one she can't ever mention."

"Two years ago she took an inheritance that was meant for me and spent it on her house. It was the worst betrayal I have ever experienced, did not see it coming. Still causes painful rage, slowly getting better. Will never talk to her again, and will never have to see that she, has become what abused us both. Still feel like an idiot."

- Green_Message_6376

The Works

"My sister moved her massive 4 kid family and her husband into my dementia-ridden father's house under the pretext of 'helping take care of him' since I live in another state."

"Proceeded to steal every dime out of his pension check for almost a decade, drain the rest of his bank accounts, rack up hundreds of thousands of dollars of debt in his name, buy out his house from him for pennies on the dollar, and essentially leave him alone in his room deteriorating in front of a TV eating Wonder Bread sandwiches while her family regularly live it up - eating out, season passes to theme parks, super expensive car and vacations. The works."

"When I discovered the depths to which she'd abused him and filed for a (third-party) conservatorship, she had the gall to say that I was doing it to steal his money."

- KipKippy

Tee-Hee

"She's a psychopath. Manipulative, self-centered, lies for no reason but to get you to believe lies, has never once acknowledged fault and always turns it around on her accuser. She doesn't operate on, 'Better to ask forgiveness than permission,' she'll lie until she can lie no more and then stand firm at, 'What are you going to do about it?' She has never moved an inch for anyone and tramples over everyone deflecting with a 'tee hee!'"

"Nobody likes her but nobody but me understands why they don't like her and they keep engaging with her to their detriment."

- kuchikirukia1

BLOCKED

"At a certain point, I realized every time I talked to my sister she wanted me to do something for her."

"Every single time. We could not chat without her asking me for a favor of some kind."

"She’s older than me and got into the habit of bossing me around in our childhood I think."

"The straw that broke the camel’s back was our Aunt. She’s in poor health and her children aren’t taking care of her. My sister straight-up said I should be her caretaker. I told her no, for the first time in my life, and she lost her s**t."

"I held my ground, but she wouldn’t let it go so I eventually blocked her phone number, blocked her on social media, etc."

"I miss her sometimes, but I also think family should not be about how much you can use one another and she treated me like I was her personal assistant."

- xajhx

The End

"Time. We just went on with our lives and found different friend groups. We never fought or had any resentments."

- a_random_throwaway_S

Rooster Teeth Off Topic GIF by Achievement HunterGiphy

Sometimes, family isn't forever.

It's a sad fact.

That's why there are so many chosen families made up of friends and loved ones who don't share DNA.

A sibling bond can be very special.

It can also be an albatross weighing you down.

Relationships end. Often, that is the best choice.

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