Having a baby is often the most traumatic and amazing thing anyone will go through. It completely changes every part of your body from its appearance, to the very cells.
Someone who just birthed a child should be resting, healing, learning to cope physically and mentally with their new tiny human and taking care of their mental health.
And it doesn't matter how many children you have, each one is a new human and a new challenge.
However, birthing parents are expected to not only get back to work mere weeks after a baby is born, but they are also expected to maintain a clean house, continue to cook for their spouse and "bounce back".
The term "bounce back" refers to losing the weight that was gained during pregnancy.
Instead of the focus being on how amazing our bodies are for being able to grow an entire human, sustain that human for nine months and then even sometimes feed that human with our bodies once the baby is born, the focus is instead on looking "good."
With that kind of expectation being the norm, it's easy to misread situations when that maybe isn't the message intended
That might be the situation in the case of Canadian TikToker Phil MacKenzie.
MacKenzie, a 35-year-old father of four, posted a video praising his wife for exercising instead of cleaning.
The internet exploded into a full on war about gender roles.
In the video he said the chores can wait and women should be able to focus on their mental health.
You can see the original video here:
MacKenzie appeared on Today with his wife Brodie to try to explain himself.
"It was a message I stood by, and still do. I think moms, and Brodie in particular, need to put themselves first and I think there’s that burden women feel that they have to take care of everything, and it’s trying to shift that narrative."
MacKenzie continued by saying he does help out.
His video was praising Brodie for doing something for herself she enjoys.
"I’m happy to help out all the time. Neither of us get to sit down, but I still know inside you (it) kills you, like you think that’s your responsibility and trying to shift that narrative.”
“I saw her doing something for herself, and I think that was the most amazing thing because she’s always putting everyone else in front of herself, right? Kids, family, house. And I think, to me, that mess can wait. We can handle it later on."
You can watch the full interview here:
But the internet isn't sold.
There is much debate on if MacKenzie intended to say he was going to do the cleaning or if he still expected her to do it.
Many of the comments pointed out MacKenzie could have just done the chores himself instead of filming his wife.
Others speculated what he meant when he said the chores can wait.
One commenter even wrote:
While MacKenzie might have meant well, the text he paired with his original video and his interview on Today didn't make that clear.
One thing is for sure, anyone who just had a baby doesn't want to work out and then clean an entire house.
It would be nice to just do your share instead of recording the situation for internet clout.