Do you feel like never knowing another peaceful night's sleep ever again, waking up in the wee hours screaming from your very core for the rest of your days? Then have we got the story for you!
Tuesday's major league baseball game between the New York Mets and Miami Marlins had a special guest, sitting right behind home plate: A giant, living Cinnamon Toast Crunch cereal box.
Now, this may sound whimsical and fun to you, especially because Cinnamon Toast Crunch is delicious. But, we assure you--with all due respect to Mr. Cinnamon Toast Crunch box--it's straight from the depths of hell.
See for yourself in the video below, if you dare.
A giant Cinnamon Toast Crunch made an appearance at the Marlins vs. Mets game last night. \n\n( via @MLBONFOX)pic.twitter.com/vuU6YRIkjDâ The Sporting News (@The Sporting News) 1631102918
Yeesh! Now we want to give that Cinnamon Toast Crunch box the benefit of the doubt, because he could be having some sort of episode. Maybe he just needs medical attention!
Or maybe he is a vortex to the dark side and if you look into his eyes too long the demons inside him steal your soul forevermore. There's literally no way to tell.
In reality, the anthropomorphic cereal box was simply a marketing ploy (or is that just what the forces of darkness want us to think?). Samples of the delicious cinnamon sugar cereal were handed out at Miami's LoanDepot Park during the game and everything--which is almost enough to erase the horrifying image of the cereal box getting up to dance at one point in the video. Truly chilling content.
And what about the poor baseball players? Imagine trying to pitch while having this wild-eyed, demon-addled cereal box staring you down from behind home plate while shaking its cereal box hips? This has to be against MLB rules!
Regardless of the cereal box's intent (which is obviously the ritual sacrifice of anyone who makes eye contact), Twitter was deeply unsettled by its presence.
The chances of being attacked by Cinnamon Toast Crunch are slim...But never zero.https://twitter.com/JomboyMedia/status/1435386112076357633\u00a0\u2026â Andrew Francis\ud83d\udc51 (@Andrew Francis\ud83d\udc51) 1631120580
Imagine trying to pitch and you\u2019ve got a giant Cinnamon Toast Crunch man starring you downpic.twitter.com/keus8yfeNCâ Certified Sports Cards (@Certified Sports Cards) 1631064892
There\u2019s a piece of Cinnamon Toast Crunch calling balls and strikes behind home plate during the Mets-Marlins game tonightpic.twitter.com/GM8sezJlWIâ Jomboy Media (@Jomboy Media) 1631057691
the mets players turning around while they\u2019re at the plate and seeing a gigantic cinnamon toast crunchpic.twitter.com/Yrasw8ClsKâ kathleen (@kathleen) 1631056718
Does your treachery know no limits @GeneralMills?!https://twitter.com/JomboyMedia/status/1435386112076357633\u00a0\u2026â The 5 Star Man Asa Gray (@The 5 Star Man Asa Gray) 1631120673
maybe it's better if fans don't show up to LoanDepot...https://twitter.com/JomboyMedia/status/1435386112076357633\u00a0\u2026â Step-hen (@Step-hen) 1631085968
I, for one, welcome our robot-cereal umpire overlords.https://twitter.com/JomboyMedia/status/1435386112076357633\u00a0\u2026â Laura Albanese (@Laura Albanese) 1631058325
There is someone in a humongous Cinnamon Toast Crunch costume directly behind home plate and I\u2019m wondering if it\u2019s actually a demon that has been haunting the Mets all season and only now revealed itself to the rest of us.â Chelsea Janes (@Chelsea Janes) 1631057537
Me: why is Cinnamon Toast Crunch trending? \n*clicks on it, sees giant Cinnamon Toast Crunch at Marlins game* \nMe:pic.twitter.com/lMtAdGT0W5â Caelyn (@Caelyn) 1631067417
We wish everyone in Miami a safe passage as they deal with this new local menace. Don't look it in the eye!
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illustrate margot robbie GIF 
Bbc One Love GIF by BBC Three 
Oh Yeah Dancing GIF by Jennifer Accomando