For many women, being designated a bridesmaid is an honor.
But many leap at the opportunity and commit without realizing the amount of time that would be involved in addition to the potentially exorbitant cost.
To avoid any confusion, TikToker @lisalovesrandom wrote a transparency letter and shared it as a response to a previous video from @stephanieberman7, who said:
"When you agree to be a bridesmaid without realizing it'll cost three whole paychecks and every second of your paid time off for the year."
For her explanation, TikToker Lisa stitched @stephanieberman7's video and said:
"I'm really glad someone pointed this out, I am going to share a tip that I used to be more transparent with my bridal party."
You can watch Lisa's break things down for future bridesmaids in the TikTok video, below.
@lisalovesrandom #stitch with @stephanieberman7 I was scared to have a #transparency letter in the #bridesmaidproposalbox but it WORKED OUT. #wedding #weddingtiktok
"Before I got engaged, I was a bridesmaid before, & I wasn't fully aware of all the costs & expectations associated with being a bridesmaid," she said.
"I felt very insecure doing this, but I'm ultimately glad that I did. And that was including a letter of what I expected from my bridal party."
For visual aid, she showed the camera a polka-dotted envelope and continued.
"I just put it in this cute little envelope and included it as part of the bridesmaids proposal box."
"In that letter, I outlined time commitments, so I told them if they lived over an hour away, they didn't have to worry about making it to the bridal shower or to go wedding dress shopping with me, it was fine."
@lisalovesrandom/TikTok
Lisa added:
"I also specified money commitments, so I told them I would pay for their hair and makeup, but that they would be responsible for the cost of the bridesmaid dress - although they had freedom over what style they wanted, I just asked for a specific color."
Most importantly, Lisa told her friends they could say "no" to being a bridesmaid and assured them they would still be friends.
She even said they were welcome to keep the gifts found in the bridesmaid proposal box, regardless of their response to making a commitment.
@lisalovesrandom/TikTok
Lisa's video went viral with over 804K likes.
People appreciated her endeavor to normalize saying, "no."
@lisalovesrandom/TikTok
@lisalovesrandom/TikTok
@lisalovesrandom/TikTok
@lisalovesrandom/TikTok
@lisalovesrandom/TikTok
@lisalovesrandom/TikTok
@lisalovesrandom/TikTok
After reading some of the favorable comments in the thread, Lisa said she was initially worried about the letter coming off as a "bridezilla move" but later added, "it's all about communication."
She nailed it.