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Apparently, Even Woodchucks Hate Paul Ryan

Apparently, Even Woodchucks Hate Paul Ryan
(Alex Edelman, Frank Bienewald/LightRocket via Getty Images)

People are reading into the possibility that even woodchucks, who destroyed Paul Ryan's Chevy Suburban, also have an inherent animosity for the Republican House speaker.

"My car was eaten by animals," he shared, during a speech at The Economic Club of Washington D.C. on Thursday. "It's just dead."

Because Ryan has a security detail and a chauffeur, he hasn't driven for nearly three years. He told his audience that he leaves the SUV parked in the driveway of his mother's house in his hometown of Jainesville, Wisconsin. To keep the car in good shape, his mother would periodically turn on the engine.

But after returning from one of her annual winter visits to Florida, the car didn't start. It was time to investigate.

So I towed it into the dealer, they put it up, and they realized that a family of woodchucks lived in the underbody of my Suburban. They ate all the wiring out of all of it.

In April, Ryan announced he will not be seeking re-election at the end of the year. "You realize you hold the office for just a small part of our history," he told reporters regarding his retirement from Congress. "So you better make the most of it."

Unfortunately, he could't make the most out of being a car owner.

But now that he recently renewed his driver's license, he's looking forward to nabbing a Ford F-150 as a replacement for his Chevy when the time comes for him to leave Capitol Hill.

Of course, his misfortune with the critters was a prime opportunity for mockery.

According to April 2017's Pew Research Center poll numbers, Republicans dislike the House Speaker as much as democrats.

A year and a half into his tenure as House Speaker, Paul Ryan is viewed more negatively than positively: 54% say they disapprove of the job Ryan is doing, 29% approve.

Now, it seems the rodents have expressed their disapproval of Ryan, as well.

H/T - Cheatsheet, YouTube, CNN, Twitter, NPR