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little brother
The TIFU (which stands for "Today I F*cked Up") subreddit is the place to be if you enjoy reading about the ways other people really, really screw things up for themselves. Obviously there was no better place for this now grown woman to share her story.
It might not have been something she messed up "today" - but the story is good enough to warrant making an exception.
Let's dive right in.
"This didn't happen today, it happened in 2000. I was 12. My mom was annoyed at my brother (2.5 yrs younger than me) for some reason and me being ever helpful decided that I would take care of the situation, so for Mother's Day I decided the best course of action would be to just get rid of him."
"I posted my brother on eBay & after a few days and several bids I managed to sell him to someone in Taiwan for $17. Don't ask me how in the hell I managed to do this and not get it taken down - looking back I can't make sense of it."
Do not try this at home, kids.
But I digress, back to our 12-year-old protagonist with an eBay account and a dream of a peaceful life...and a little brother she needs to somehow ship to Taiwan.
"So once I sold him I then was faced with a thought that hadn't crossed my 12 year old mind - how am I going to ship him?? So I ignored it because according to the internet what I did was illegal. And what better way to make something go away than to just ignore it?"
"2 weeks later I'm thinking I'm in the clear because I just stopped getting on eBay and again my 12 year old brain thinks nobody knows me and I'll never have to think about this again (what's an IP address?!) until my family and I are eating dinner and there's a knock at the front door. I instantly got nervous because nobody uses that door so it must be serious or someone we don't know."
Oof, that can't be good.
I think we've seen enough movies and TV shows to know that knock on the door meant serious business.
"My dad comes back into the kitchen a few minutes later and tells my brother to go to his room...and for me to follow my dad. I walk into the family room to have a seat in front of two state police and the states version of FBI."
"eBay reported me to the state police & my IP address was acquired - they were not, however, expecting a 12 year old girl to walk into the room as their culprit. I fessed up immediately- my parents were questioned of course but I showed the computer crimes people what I did & took full responsibility."
"I got a slap on the wrist & a formal ban from eBay until I was 18 - and a very very long talk from the feds about what I had done."
Fam... can you imagine how that little girl must have felt walking into that room to see a bunch of police officers waiting for her? Gulp.
Reddit had a field day with this post.
"The real lesson here is to follow through. If you hadn't pissed off your eBay customer, johnny law wouldn't have come a knockin'." - JDub8
"Those police officers may have seemed stern and serious but I bet they laughed their a**es off afterwards." - john_wb
"I'm just hoping that the Taiwanese government did something about the guy who tried buying a little boy, but probs not." - nick_oreo
"Thank you so much for your story. I haven't had anything to laugh about lately and your story had me laughing so hard. It really felt good to laugh again. Thank you." - kymmyb99
"I love the way a 12 years old brain works. Little bro is an a** ? Let's give away ! Problem solved ! Can't ship him so buyer might get pissed ? Push delicately the problem under the rug, if you can't see it, there is no problem then ! A monster coming from under the bed ? Put the sheets up on my eyes. If I cant see it, how come it could see me right ?! That's so brilliantly logical ! Fast thinking, straight forward. I simply love it. And I must admit that I found you very proactive for a 12 year old girl!" - lassomnia
So what have we learned today?
Selling your annoying siblings online is a bad idea and goes against the terms of service for pretty much everywhere on the Internet...but if you do manage to pull it off, ship quickly. (kidding, obviously. please don't sell each other online.)
For some NOT illegal Mother's Day gift ideas, maybe check out Amazon instead.