People Explain The Stupidest Way They've Managed To Injure Themselves

Cartoon

Threw a grape in the air to catch it in my mouth. It fell on the floor and I bent down to pick it up and smashed my face into the window sill

tmariexo

Bad, But Could Have Been Worse

Showering at a hotel in a small stall with a slippery tile floor. Bent over to wash my feet, my butt hit the tap handle. I slipped, put my hands out to save myself and violently slammed the glass shower door open. I bashed my forehead and bridge of nose on the tile floor, had a major nose bleed and a giant goose egg on my forehead. I don't have bangs to cover that up. I thought I had escaped without the black eyes I expected after bashing my nose, but 2 days later I woke up with deep purple swollen eyelids. Luckily I had packed my seldom used makeup to cover the worst of it and I wore a hat in the day time. I'm still shocked the shower door didn't shatter when it hit the wall.

Capers4

Are We Human Or Are We Kangaroo

I was in the 4th or 5th grade but I jumped down an entire flight of stairs. Landed hard and hurt my foot. Walked on it for a day or two afterwards turned out I shattered my heel and broke my ankle.

KaleIsMe

My Own Force

I live in Minnesota so I am used to kicking snow off my boots by slamming my toe part of the boot down on the ground. Well, it was summer and I happened to get my running shoes absolutely covered in mud, so I instinctively slammed my toes down on the pavement and broke 4 toes.

youbetchamom

Saving Face

I found my dad's EpiPen one day while looking for mouth spray for sore throats. It obviously wasn't what I was looking for but I wanted to figure out how it worked. I ended up shooting the needle clear through my thumb. I then hid the evidence of my stupidity and never told my mom until years later.

jennana100

I'm Hooked And Torn

Was helping husband replace the bathroom fan, so I was standing on the side of the bathtub. I had this plastic hook glued to the shower wall to hang a loofa on. I went to get down and slid down the wall and hooked my butt cheek to the wall. It hurt so bad but was also hilarious. I'm in my 40s and this happened recently.

911momof8

Fabric Be Dangerous

I got out of a long, hot shower and noticed a thread dangling off of my shirt, and when I tried to pull it out it just neatly sliced through several millimeters of my finger. It was so minor I can hardly even call it an injury, but getting cut by a shirt is definitely the stupidest I've had.

malsomnus

The Cheap Laugh That Cost It All

To try to get a cheap laugh out of my ex, I threw a hammer as hard as I could at a tree.

The hammer bounced off the tree, and I turned just in time for it to hit me in the small of my back.

Miracle I'm not paralyzed.

J-Bradley1

Don't Mess With The Prosthess

When I was a kid, maybe 10 or so, I had recently discovered that the feet on my prosthetics could be unscrewed and moved into different positions, so I "borrowed" and Allen key from my dad and took it to school so I could unscrew my feet and show my friends at recess...non of them were as blown away by this as I'd hoped, pretty sure they were just used to this kind of thing by now haha.

Anyway, the bell went to tell us to go back to class and I very quickly tightened the feet back onto the prosthetics, put my shoes back on and started making my way back to class. As I was walking with a group of my classmates I started to notice my legs felt wobbly. I looked down and with every step my feet were turning outwards slightly. A normal person would have come to the conclusion "oh, I didn't tighten the screws up enough". But not me, I jumped to the conclusion of "HOLY HECK I CAN CONTROL MY FEET LIKE A ROBOT".

My excitement quickly turned to dread when I realized I don't know how to control feet (been an amputee since I was a baby) and they kept turning until one was pointing sideways. Despite this I kept trying to walk and after a few more steps the foot just fell off and I managed to slam the now footless prosthetic down, which jarred my knee and hips and caused me to slip over and face plant into the corner of a cement mini wall (one of those waist high walls).

Being a self respecting 10yo I started bawling my eyes out, which caught the attention of the new teacher. It's her first day and the only disabled student is in pieces, (the foot got thrown backwards when it fell off) with a bloodied nose, screaming like a banshee. She didn't really know what to do since I couldn't get back up, so she gave me some tissues for my nose and made a very confused call to the maintenance man asking if he knows how to fix prosthetics so I can get to the school nurse.

CathNelson

Not The Big Man On Campus

Riding my bike home in 5th grade slowly alongside my walking friends.

Friend : Drew look where you're going

Drew : naw dude I'm good at biking I can do it with my eyes closed

Friend : no really dude, look out

Drew : naw man, I'm good

Instantly crashes into a parked car, mess up my bike chain, have to drag my bike home in shame and explain to my mom why my knee and lip are bleeding.

Drew-