Skip to content
Search AI Powered

Latest Stories

Self-Care Advice That Is Surprisingly Toxic

Self-Care Advice That Is Surprisingly Toxic
gaganmasoun/PIXABAY
Make us preferred on Google

We all need to love ourselves.

And is very important to put ourselves and our happiness first.

Self-love is a vital part of the human existence.

But some people really need to examine the behavior that they deem as "self-care."

Self-care doesn't belittle others.

And it acknowledges the line between confidence and arrogance.


Redditor redhead_in_red wanted to hear about the ways in which choosing "Me First" can actually be a detriment.

So they asked:

"What's some popular self-care/self-love advice that is actually really toxic?"

The telling it like it is crew always gets me.

There is truth and the way you say it.

Nope

Go Away Art GIF by GIPHY Studios Originals Giphy

"If they can't handle my worst, they don't deserve my best,' funny how those people are always at their 'worst.'"

Team-Hero

"I consider anyone who ever says this to be radioactive, so I stay miles away. I remember being on dating sites and some women using that in their info. Automatic nope... lol."

Beaudaci0us

Stay Positive

"Advice to Surround yourself only with positive people, if you're willing to cut people from the your life when they are a bit down, that's a recipe for people hiding the negatives in their life from friends, only discussing the positive and having mostly superficial friendships, for fear of you being cut out of their lives."

"Not saying you need to keep people in your life who are treating you badly, but we all go through times when we are up and times when we are down, friends give you thier time through both."

cognitivebetterment

Trust

“'Always trust your feelings.'”

"This advice is everywhere. No, oftentimes our feelings require introspection to work through them and make positive change."

youkick

"I always took this as 'trust your gut,' meaning 'trust your instinct.' We describe it as a feeling but it's actually thought, memory, and sensation/feeling - not an emotion. And this definitely gets lost in our collective game of telephone."

"It's meant for things pertaining to general survival decisions, mostly. Like, a gut 'feeling' to not cross the street yet. It's a bunch of things we pick up on but can't quite put our finger on, and it is better to act without thinking on each thing and memory specifically."

REDDIT

Conditional

"That you should expect unconditional support love and acceptance from friends or romantic partners. Popular idea, but if people really care they will tell you when you are harming yourself or others rather than just keep the vibe chill."

REDDIT

"Unconditional support does NOT mean they go along with whatever you want. It means they care about you and support you, even when you make bad decisions. And sometimes, supporting you means telling you how it is."

GildedLily16

Rubbish

You Lie Harry Potter GIF by Sky Giphy

"The sort of 'positivity' that relies on dragging other people down."

"I see it the most around body image issues in particular (but can apply to other things too), and I just think it's really sad."

"It doesn't solve any of the underlying issues, just makes more people feel rubbish about themselves!"

ClydeB3

Keeping everyone afloat is part of the positive.

Brutal

Giphy

"It's not really advice, but it's popular for people to label themselves as 'brutally honest.'"

"Honesty is good, but beware of people who are more interested in the brutality than the honesty."

SteezyPeez

True Dat.

"'Live your truth.' There is a fine line between between authenticity and being an a**hole."

Kurgan1536

"I've yet to meet a person who uses 'I'm speaking my truth' who didn't clearly mean "I don't care how incorrect or hurtful what I'm about to say is; if you don't accept it you're disrespecting me."

"To clarify since some replies are bringing up specific people. I don't know much about celebrities. I was mostly thinking of a former coworker who would use the phrase constantly when being blatantly wrong but still expecting to be accommodated for her preferred reality."

SumsuchUser

Say NO... to YOU!

“'Ignore the haters.'”

"Sometimes the 'haters' are people who love you and want to warn you of potential pitfalls (such as MLMs, cults, abusive relationships, etc.)"

"Update: A few people are saying that the definition of haters is, essentially, only people who are hating for the wrong reasons. I agree that’s what this advice intends to communicate. Basically, don’t pay any attention to people who project consistent irrational negativity your way."

"My concern is that this phrase is so easily misapplied as a 'self love' mantra which ultimately serves to keep some vulnerable people from listening to the valid and well-intentioned concerns of loved ones. It can be used by a manipulative person to keep victims/vulnerable followers in line."

"I like 'haters gonna hate' better because it implies there is a pattern. Like, 'oh that person is always hating so of course they’re hating now.' But if your sister is usually supportive, and definitely not a hater by nature, and is suddenly very concerned that your relationship is abusive... listen up!"

"I think it comes down to the idea that you have (arguably) more to lose by disregarding a well-intentioned friend than by paying attention to an ill-intentioned one. I appreciated the feedback and did not find any of you to be haters. :) "

REDDT

“girl boss”

"I have a friend who is very sucked into the 'girl boss' subculture that has her working all hours on a business that makes no money, then doing 'self care' in the form of spending the little money she makes on manicures or expensive beauty products that other people have told her are self care."

"Self care and self love is sometimes admitting that you need to stop perusing something that isn’t working and is making you miserable, even if it’s what you thought you wanted and even if everyone is telling you to keep going and not to give up."

wonkyboys

A Constant

Season 7 Work GIF by Shameless Giphy

“'Cut off anyone that doesn’t bring you peace.'"

"Obviously this applies to people who are constantly, deliberately making you miserable. But a stressful situation or argument with a friend that you care about doesn’t count if you haven’t attempted to work it out with them."

tinymom7674

Well I hope some truths sink in.

Do you have anything to add? Let us know in the comments.

More from Trending/best-of-reddit

Screenshot of Mark Carney; Donald Trump
@sarobertson_/X; Aaron Schwartz/AFP via Getty Images

Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney Trolls Trump With Perfect 'Conspiracy' Joke After Technical Glitch During Speech

Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney had people laughing after he made a clever "conspiracy" joke aimed at President Donald Trump after his teleprompter cut out mid-speech on Wednesday.

Carney was addressing the press and supporters as part of his government's pledge to build more rental homes. A press release announced that "over the next three years, Canada’s new government, in partnership with the City of Toronto, will invest over $2.7 billion to build more than 18 housing projects across Toronto."

Keep Reading Show less
Al-Nassr player Cristiano Ronaldo (2nd L) and Georgina Rodriguez (L) attend the Globe Soccer Dubai Awards 2024.
Waleed Zein/Anadolu via Getty Images

Cristiano Ronaldo's Fiancée Pens Classy Response After Unedited Bikini Pics Spark Body-Shaming Comments

A relaxing getaway in Mallorca took an unexpected turn after candid, unedited photos of Georgina Rodríguez with Cristiano Ronaldo and his 16-year-old son, Cristiano Jr., aboard a yacht sparked a wave of body-shaming comments.

You can see the paparazzi pics below:

Keep Reading Show less
Nurse Hadley Vlahos
@nursehadley/TikTok

TikToker Speaks Out About Just How Difficult It Is To Get A Divorce In Mississippi—And Wow

While we're well into the 21st century, it's becoming increasingly difficult in the United States for women to execute what should be basic social rights, like getting a divorce. But states like Mississippi and most of the "Bible Belt" are making it practically impossible for people like Nurse Hadley Vlahos to fully separate from a former partner.

Though Vlahos is known on TikTok and YouTube for being a hospice nurse and wrote about end-of-life care in her New York Times bestselling book, The In-Between with How to Let Go to follow, she's now dedicating much more of her platform to documenting her three-year process of just filing for divorce, not including all that happened in the years before and in the year and a half since.

Keep Reading Show less
Screenshot of Donald Trump
C-SPAN

Trump's Bonkers Quip About What He'd Do If He Coached In The WNBA Just Resurfaced—And It's A Doozy

President Donald Trump is raising eyebrows again after a resurfaced clip showed him trying to bring NBA star LeBron James into the debate around transgender athletes while mocking the WNBA.

The WNBA has been at the center of controversy after Indiana Fever player Sophie Cunningham said she wants "to protect young girls in a locker room, or young girls in sport who shouldn’t have to go against biological men.” She called her beliefs "common sense," stressing that "it’s really important to protect children, and that’s little girls who are also involved in that category."

Keep Reading Show less
Billie Eilish
Savion Washington/FilmMagic/Getty Images

Photos Of Billie Eilish From Her Upcoming Movie Just Dropped—And Fans Barely Recognize Her

The latest film adaptation of Sylvia Plath's The Bell Jar is led by Women Talking and Splice director Sarah Polley.

As of March, Billie Eilish was cast in the leading role, Esther Greenwood, who goes through a form of mental burnout and psychosis over the course of the book, with a plot that becomes increasingly unhinged and unreliable.

Keep Reading Show less