Skip to content
Search AI Powered

Latest Stories

Self-Care Advice That Is Surprisingly Toxic

Self-Care Advice That Is Surprisingly Toxic
gaganmasoun/PIXABAY

We all need to love ourselves.

And is very important to put ourselves and our happiness first.

Self-love is a vital part of the human existence.

But some people really need to examine the behavior that they deem as "self-care."

Self-care doesn't belittle others.

And it acknowledges the line between confidence and arrogance.


Redditor redhead_in_red wanted to hear about the ways in which choosing "Me First" can actually be a detriment.

So they asked:

"What's some popular self-care/self-love advice that is actually really toxic?"

The telling it like it is crew always gets me.

There is truth and the way you say it.

Nope

Go Away Art GIF by GIPHY Studios Originals Giphy

"If they can't handle my worst, they don't deserve my best,' funny how those people are always at their 'worst.'"

Team-Hero

"I consider anyone who ever says this to be radioactive, so I stay miles away. I remember being on dating sites and some women using that in their info. Automatic nope... lol."

Beaudaci0us

Stay Positive

"Advice to Surround yourself only with positive people, if you're willing to cut people from the your life when they are a bit down, that's a recipe for people hiding the negatives in their life from friends, only discussing the positive and having mostly superficial friendships, for fear of you being cut out of their lives."

"Not saying you need to keep people in your life who are treating you badly, but we all go through times when we are up and times when we are down, friends give you thier time through both."

cognitivebetterment

Trust

“'Always trust your feelings.'”

"This advice is everywhere. No, oftentimes our feelings require introspection to work through them and make positive change."

youkick

"I always took this as 'trust your gut,' meaning 'trust your instinct.' We describe it as a feeling but it's actually thought, memory, and sensation/feeling - not an emotion. And this definitely gets lost in our collective game of telephone."

"It's meant for things pertaining to general survival decisions, mostly. Like, a gut 'feeling' to not cross the street yet. It's a bunch of things we pick up on but can't quite put our finger on, and it is better to act without thinking on each thing and memory specifically."

REDDIT

Conditional

"That you should expect unconditional support love and acceptance from friends or romantic partners. Popular idea, but if people really care they will tell you when you are harming yourself or others rather than just keep the vibe chill."

REDDIT

"Unconditional support does NOT mean they go along with whatever you want. It means they care about you and support you, even when you make bad decisions. And sometimes, supporting you means telling you how it is."

GildedLily16

Rubbish

You Lie Harry Potter GIF by Sky Giphy

"The sort of 'positivity' that relies on dragging other people down."

"I see it the most around body image issues in particular (but can apply to other things too), and I just think it's really sad."

"It doesn't solve any of the underlying issues, just makes more people feel rubbish about themselves!"

ClydeB3

Keeping everyone afloat is part of the positive.

Brutal

Giphy

"It's not really advice, but it's popular for people to label themselves as 'brutally honest.'"

"Honesty is good, but beware of people who are more interested in the brutality than the honesty."

SteezyPeez

True Dat.

"'Live your truth.' There is a fine line between between authenticity and being an a**hole."

Kurgan1536

"I've yet to meet a person who uses 'I'm speaking my truth' who didn't clearly mean "I don't care how incorrect or hurtful what I'm about to say is; if you don't accept it you're disrespecting me."

"To clarify since some replies are bringing up specific people. I don't know much about celebrities. I was mostly thinking of a former coworker who would use the phrase constantly when being blatantly wrong but still expecting to be accommodated for her preferred reality."

SumsuchUser

Say NO... to YOU!

“'Ignore the haters.'”

"Sometimes the 'haters' are people who love you and want to warn you of potential pitfalls (such as MLMs, cults, abusive relationships, etc.)"

"Update: A few people are saying that the definition of haters is, essentially, only people who are hating for the wrong reasons. I agree that’s what this advice intends to communicate. Basically, don’t pay any attention to people who project consistent irrational negativity your way."

"My concern is that this phrase is so easily misapplied as a 'self love' mantra which ultimately serves to keep some vulnerable people from listening to the valid and well-intentioned concerns of loved ones. It can be used by a manipulative person to keep victims/vulnerable followers in line."

"I like 'haters gonna hate' better because it implies there is a pattern. Like, 'oh that person is always hating so of course they’re hating now.' But if your sister is usually supportive, and definitely not a hater by nature, and is suddenly very concerned that your relationship is abusive... listen up!"

"I think it comes down to the idea that you have (arguably) more to lose by disregarding a well-intentioned friend than by paying attention to an ill-intentioned one. I appreciated the feedback and did not find any of you to be haters. :) "

REDDT

“girl boss”

"I have a friend who is very sucked into the 'girl boss' subculture that has her working all hours on a business that makes no money, then doing 'self care' in the form of spending the little money she makes on manicures or expensive beauty products that other people have told her are self care."

"Self care and self love is sometimes admitting that you need to stop perusing something that isn’t working and is making you miserable, even if it’s what you thought you wanted and even if everyone is telling you to keep going and not to give up."

wonkyboys

A Constant

Season 7 Work GIF by Shameless Giphy

“'Cut off anyone that doesn’t bring you peace.'"

"Obviously this applies to people who are constantly, deliberately making you miserable. But a stressful situation or argument with a friend that you care about doesn’t count if you haven’t attempted to work it out with them."

tinymom7674

Well I hope some truths sink in.

Do you have anything to add? Let us know in the comments.

More from Trending/best-of-reddit

Daniel Radcliffe
ANGELA WEISS / AFP via Getty Images

Fans Are Loving 'Short King' Daniel Radcliffe's Tony Awards Red Carpet Photos With His Taller Girlfriend

We've all known a man or two who's hypersensitive and obsessed with his height, perhaps with good reason: the "short kings" among us are often the butts of lots of jokes online.

And many are the short men who say they're unbothered by their height but would never dare date someone taller than them.

Keep Reading Show less
Screenshot of Rosie O'Donnell; Donald Trump
Variety; Kevin Dietsch/Getty Images

Rosie O'Donnell Skewers 'Psychopath' Trump In Unfiltered Red Carpet Interview At The Tony Awards—And She's Spot On

Actor and comedian Rosie O'Donnell called President Donald Trump a "psychopath" when asked about him by a reporter for Variety on the red carpet at the Tony Awards on Sunday night.

O'Donnell and Trump have feuded for years and O'Donnell, fearing the worst once Trump won the 2024 election, moved to Ireland shortly before he was inaugurated. She has cited the risks Project 2025 and Trump's potential retribution pose to her and her nonbinary child.

Keep Reading Show less
Pete Hegseth
Kiran Ridley/Getty Images

Pete Hegseth Blasted After Using D-Day Remembrance Speech To Gripe About Immigrants In Europe

Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth was criticized after using a D-Day remembrance speech to complain about immigrants coming to Europe.

The D-Day operation on June 6, 1944, united the land, air, and sea forces of the Allied armies in what became the largest amphibious invasion in military history. Codenamed Operation OVERLORD, this massive endeavor landed five naval assault divisions on the beaches of Normandy.

Keep Reading Show less
Screenshot of Donald Trump and Kristen Welker
NBC

Trump Just Tried To Blame His 'Meet The Press' Tantrum On The Weather—And Nobody's Buying It

President Donald Trump was criticized after he abruptly stormed out of an interview on Meet the Press on Sunday only to blame his tantrum on the rain.

Trump left after repeatedly insisting, without evidence, that both the 2020 presidential election and California's gubernatorial race were rigged. During the exchange, moderator Kristen Welker noted that California's lengthy ballot-counting process is routine, but Trump pointed to the ongoing tally as proof of wrongdoing.

Keep Reading Show less
Woman putting cupcakes in oven; Message from u/Duskymoonlight/Reddit
BongkarnThanyakij/Getty Images; u/Duskymoonlight/Reddit

Beginner Baker Didn't Realize You're Not Supposed To Put Decorations On Until After Baking—And The Photos Are Priceless

We all have our own unique talents, and it's actually kind of awesome that they're not all the same.

That said, one of the best reasons to try something new is the potential laughs we'll get out of it.

Keep Reading Show less