Petty People Share Their Funniest Relationship Deal Breakers

Mouth Noises

Either chew with their mouth open or make a lot of noise while eating.

- AvellionB

Dirty Ears

I once broke up with someone because he didn't clean his ears (it was actually so gross.) Not in his ears, but like the fold behind his ears. I just kept staring and thinking about it...

- edesedesem

The One

I can't date people who believe in Soulmates™ or the "One".

I can't shake the feeling they're using you as a placeholder until they find their mythical 100% match. Or that they believe relationships with their 'soulmate' wouldn't need actual work or active effort.

- NoRip0

Clubbed Nails Need Not Apply

Fingernails. I don't know how to properly explain this, but there are two types of nails: some people's fingernails don't press into the finger on the sides, and aren't as curved, giving a wider, flatter nail than others. These people's hands creep me the f--- out and I can't stand being touched by people with this type of fingernail. It's ridiculous, and I know it's stupid, but it makes me so irrationally uncomfortable.

- laneyrhi

Accent Issues

Goofy accent. Sorry. I like dirty talk and it doesn't work if I want to burst out laughing.

- murderousbudgie

No Breathing

Loud breathing. Can't do it. I want to tear your airways out and feed them to you if I can hear you breathe.

- catbert359

Hummus

He was allergic to hummus and I f*cking love hummus.

- gritsgirl0389

Nose Hair

Nose hair. How do you not notice you have long pieces of hair sticking out of your nose? Tweezers can fix that sh*t in two seconds.

- TinyPinecones

Hurry Up

I once broke up with someone because he tied his shoes too slowly. Like he just...took forever to make the bow? He was bent over for almost a full minute every time. Inexplicable.

- Ladsholiday2k17

Halloween Hater

I just went out with a guy last week and asked him what he was for Halloween last year and he said "an adult". Dealbreaker. I'm an adult everyday, including Halloween.

- blackaubreyplaza