People Describe The Worst Kiss They've Ever Had

Let's be honest here.

An electric make-out sesh is a reliable marker that a date could be worth pursuing.

If the person you're seeing is a catch, with winsome looks and a good personality to boot, all it takes is bad chemistry not to warrant a second date.

Curious to hear from those who've had better lip-lock moments, Redditor Suspicious_Jelly_845 dared to ask:

"What's the worst kiss you've ever had?"

They can't all generate that special spark.

The Guilty One

"I don't think I've ever had a bad kiss, which probably means I've caused them instead."

– LurkingOnMyMacBook

"I've found when I'm 'not feeling it' neither are they, usually. And when I am, they usually are as well. So they've probably mostly been a-okay for them as well friend!"

– LegEndDairy

"I was the bad kiss. First make out, no idea what was going on. Braces. Went in a little too hard, braces cut her lip. Was just bad all around. Then asked if it was good. Great memories that definitely don't haunt my dreams."

– Historical_Chipmunk4

The Gulper

"Some girl called Paula about 16 years ago. Once our lips touched she didn't move them she just started doing gulping/swallowing (only way I can describe it) motions. Weirdest few seconds of my life."

– Bean-Penis

The Eager One

"A girl that thought kissing was to try and get her tongue as far down my esophagus as she could immediately after lips touching."

– ThrowRA-spiegelfisch

" That was my first real kiss in middle school. I had a peck here or there, but Allison just went for it. I think she thought I had hidden ice cream back there, or perhaps she was inspired by seagulls feeding their young."

"Tough to tell. I also dated a girl who would just open her mouth, lol. Wide too. Maybe she confused kissing with auditions to be the singing bass mouth model."

– Farts_McGee

Soda Crush

"my very first romantic kiss."

"I was 13, she was 14 one class above me in same school, she took charge and asked me out for a date, we went to the cinema and as we were going back i walked her to her place and whole 15 minutes i was playing the scenario in my heard if and how i am going to kiss her after saying goodbye."

"She was drinking the leftover coke from the cinema the whole way home and as i kissed her and she opened the mouth for a romantic french kiss she burped so hard that i got bits from the fuzzy cola in my mouth. we both burst laughing.

"That was my 1st kiss :D"

– Beo_reddit

That Really Sucked

"My high school girlfriend vacuumed my tongue so hard it tore the piece of skin that connects it to the bottom of my mouth a little bit."

– CokeDigler

No Firework

"I broke up with my college girlfriend. We ran into each other a few months later and just by habit greeted each other with a hug/kiss combo. There was no spark, it felt like kissing a mannequin."

– man_of_the_mountain

"It's such a weird sensation. Me and my ex broke up right before Covid. She planned on getting a job and moving to another city but Covid stopped that. We lived together during it but weren't romantically involved anymore."

"After like a year and a half we got drunk on her birthday and decided to have sex. It was such an awkward experience because I felt nothing between us. I've had one night stands with people I met at the club and I felt more with them."

– esoteric_enigma

"There is something about hardening your heart toward someone. It keeps me from reaching out to my exes on social media every time they announce they are single."

– man_of_the_mountain

"It wasn't that my heart was hardened. We were great friends and I still had affection for her. It's just like the romantic energy I had for her ran its course and there was nothing left."

"Even with a stranger there's the sexual tension of a new partner and the spark of possibility. This was like we've been through everything we were supposed to and there's nothing left."

– esoteric_enigma

Tall Goth Guy

"I went out with a stupidly tall goth guy. All eyeliner and spikes to hide his lack of personality and looks. Kissing him was uncomfortable not just due the height difference but also because he seemed to think groaning into my mouth was sexy."

"But it was like loud groaning, with breath, he was essentially going 'huhhhhhhhhhgggggg' loudly into my mouth."

"Couple this with wet sharp tongue jabs, not your sensual tongue on tongue but like stabby little jabs like a dentists finger looking for gum disease. Almost hit my gag reflex several times."

"So I'm standing there at a bus stop on a hot Tuesday summer afternoon getting a crick in my neck while a 6ft5 tall man child in a floor length leather trench coat with spikes around his neck and a goatee essentially screams into my open mouth."

""People stared.

"I broke up with him the next day."

– manic_panda

These unfortunate circumstances were major turn-offs.

Ouch

"One time I kissed a woman and the only way I can describe it was it was like kissing safety scissors, 80% teeth and 20% sharp darting tongue."

– Technical_Young_8197

So Mechanical

"She rapidly thrust her tongue in and out of my mouth like a wet sponge attached to a sewing machine. Very off-putting."

– UnfinishedThings

Hyper Tongue

"Let's just say it involved a surprise attack of overly enthusiastic tongue action, like I was suddenly auditioning for a role in a spaghetti commercial. Needless to say, I spent the rest of the evening trying to discreetly wipe away the taste of regret."

– throwawaytorontoe

Smashing Teeth

"In college, my girlfriend (now wife) had some friends that we hung around a lot. One night we had been drinking with one of those friends and were walking back to the dorms. They were play fighting all the way back and made a stop to wrestle in the sand of a volleyball court outside the dorms."

"Eventually we made our way back inside. Her friend made a comment about how she was going to steal my girlfriend from me. My girlfriend played along with a big hug. That turned into a kiss."

"They laughed it off and then there was kind of a pause. My girlfriend came to me and kissed me."

"Then her friend came in for a kiss. Except she was a bit too aggressive with it for some reason and clashed her front teeth against mine."

"I was trying to hold back pain because of the circumstances, but everything abruptly stopped because she realized she had chipped her tooth against mine. My girlfriend couldn’t stop laughing and her friend was half laughing and half crying."

– Pickle-Standard

Rough Rinsing

"Went on a date with a guy, things went pretty well, so when he went in for a kiss I was like 'why not'. He immediately started dishwasher kissing, very roughly, like it actually kinda hurt. Tried to tell him what I do like, he got offended. To his surprise, there was no second date. Also, he was a smoker."

– frogsscareme

Trip To The Aquarium

"I was with an 18 year old (I was 21) and we went on a date to the aquarium. Now I’m not sexual by any means (or really even into kissing) but he immediately went to making out in front of kids, clearly learned kissing from porn."

"He was licking all over me and touching me and I was just so not into it. I want to watch the fish! Not your face!"

– Sagethewolfblooded

Killing The Crush

"I had a guy who I had been crushing on for a very long time but nothing ever happened between us , we would flirt a bit and hang out but never anything romantic."

"Finally one day the flirting got ramped up a bit and we kissed, when I say this man’s way of kissing was by pressing his lips as hard as he could into my face. It was 0/10 completely ruined months of crushing."

– Toematehos

Thank goodness these Redditors were able to move on.

Watch What You Eat Beforehand

"Went home with a girl I met at a club, we got kebabs on the way and bossman did not go easy on the garlic sauce. Got to her room and made out for maybe twenty seconds before both saying 'yeah, we can't do this' and played some MarioKart on her Wii instead lol."

"We still ended up together for the whole of that summer, so for a worst kiss it turned out pretty well."

– nivlark

The Birthday Boy

"Back in 1986 was I was a young and pretty good looking office guy. They had a birthday thing for me, and I was all 'Oh shucks' and this older cougar type lip locked me out of nowhere. It was kind of gross and embarrassing."

– The68Guns

The worst kiss I ever had was with a guy I called the open-mouther.

My tongue was the lone participant in a cave-spelunking expedition where there was nothing but the void greeting me.

I had to get out of there.

We remain friends, though, so no loss in making that connection.